Tattooed beautiful woman in old spooky interior

Ah breaking up sucks, doesn’t it? Especially if they dumped you. How could they? You did everything you thought you were supposed to do to keep this relationship alive and loving. You did everything you thought you should do to make your partner happy. Even after all that hard work, they still dumped you. What the fuck?

No one likes a breakup. Not even the person who dumped you. Believe it or not, it’s hard on them too. Ok maybe not as hard on them as it is for you but regardless, it’s hard for both parties.

So let’s forget the person who did the dumping and how about we focus all our attention on you. The hurting soul in all this. The one whose heart just got smashed into a million itty bitty pieces. We are so devastated we are pretty sure we will never recover from this.

First of all, yes you will. In time, your heart will be fine and you will go on loving someone else again. But let’s look at some ways to honour ourselves after a breakup because, let’s face it, we need healing and we need it now.

  1. It really is for your own good. It doesn’t seem like it right now, but think about it. If this relationship was all that and a bag of chips you wouldn’t be alone right now would you? Obviously something was wrong. Something was very wrong and you probably already know what that something was. It doesn’t matter if it was you or them, it was wrong. The relationship is over and you no longer have to deal with that something (and you know it was there, don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about). Take a deep breath of relief. It’s not your problem anymore.
  2. Do something nice for you. You probably heard this a million times but have you done it yet? There is great power in honouring yourself by way of a special treat just for you. Go do something you’ve always wanted to do but never had a chance to because you were in this relationship. You are now in a relationship with yourself. Go have fun.
  3. Write yourself a love letter. This is great fun and by the time you are done you will love yourself so fucking much you will wonder how anyone doesn’t want to be with you! Write down all the wonderful things, your hair, your legs, your heart, your sense of humour, your sensitivity, you name it, you write it. Each and every awesome thing about you. Write it with truth and honour. Don’t stop at anything. You are amazing and beautiful and fantastic. Tell yourself that. Click To Tweet
  4. Fall in love with you again. Chances are, you probably lost a little bit of you in that relationship. We all usually do. Find that piece you lost and put it back inside of you along with any other pieces you lost. Once you’ve gathered up all those pieces, take a good hard look at yourself again and love yourself. Love all of you. The good, the bad and the ugly. What parts might need working on? Now is the time to do it. Was your self esteem on the way down? Give it a boost.
  5. Totally disconnect and delete, delete, delete. You are on the journey of healing so if you can, stop all contact with your ex and focus on you. Don’t text, write, call, FB message, email or anything. And for the love of God, don’t show up at their work questioning why they dumped you. It doesn’t matter. Who cares. They did. It’s over. Do yourself a favour and move on. Let it go. Think about you now. NO distractions, no contact with them, nudda. This is a hard one, trust me, it’s hard. But in order to move on and love yourself, you must do this. You are worth it.

I get how we desperately want to hang on to our ex and hope we can patch things up and move forward in love. 9 times out of 10 that ain’t gonna happen. They came into your life for a reason and they left your life for a reason. Honour and embrace YOU now. All of you. It’s your life, your happiness and your peace and joy at stake here. Don’t give that much power to anyone.

Fine, go ahead and leave, see if I care (but…but….but…wait!!)

Peace and Love

Iva

Written by Iva Ursano

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