Don’t Be a Birthday Hater.

September is my birthday month. Yippee!! Ok, so my birthday is not until the end of the month but nonetheless, I am excited all month, and I totally love my birthday. I know, I’m a rare breed. Most people cringe when their birthday arrives, hide in their bedroom all day, shut themselves out from the rest of the world, ignore the phone, perhaps even cry.

Not this chickie. I’m like a 6 yr old getting ready for the party of the year.

Party like a rockstar on your birthday

Now before you all go thinking I’m some sort of crazy party animal that can drink you all under a table, hold up. Not quite so. 30 years ago maybe. The day after my 50th birthday bash I was not so gently reminded of my age. I was 50. Not 25.

The garbage can on the side of the bed that acted as my *puke bucket* for the day reminded me of that. Oh, but fun was had by all that night. Wait. Fun was definitely had by me, I don’t remember if anyone else had fun but that night, it just didn’t matter. It was MY birthday and I was the star of the show.

Period. That was the last time I drank that much and that was almost 6 years ago.

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Aging gracefully

I could never quite figure out why people hate their birthdays so much. It’s the most beautiful day of the year, besides Christmas. This is the day you were put on this God given earth to grow, learn, love, laugh and live. How can that NOT be awesome?

You hear people say “Omg I’m turning 40 this year, geez I’m getting old. It’s all downhill from here”. You’re kidding me, right?? They even say that at 50! Seriously? It’s all downhill from here if that’s how you want it to be.

If you expect it to be horrible from here on in then for sure it will be. Just for you. Not this girl. Turning 50 was the most exciting awesomest fabulous bestest day of my life. I made it this far and, man oh man, I got at least another 30 years in me. Woot!

I don’t look my age ( to me anyway, and of course, that’s all that matters ) and I absolutely don’t act my age. Ask any of my friends and family. They will positively agree to that one. But wait, I am young! I’m only 56 for goodness sake. I have so many fun exciting years ahead of me. Places to go, people to see, things to do.

I still have great health, a sharp mind and an adventurous loving spirit. That’s all I need (Ok so maybe money might help too). There is still so much life to be lived.

Just a number

56 does not mean I’m old or getting old or I’ll be a senior soon or anything like that. To me, it’s a number that indicates how long I’ve been on this beautiful planet for. I’ve been around for 55 years. Holy wow, I say!

That’s awesome, yes? In 56 years I’ve grown, loved, lost, laughed, cried, and most importantly learned a whole bunch of mindblowing lessons. I look forward to another 30 or 40 years of more of that stuff.

If you’re thinking that life is starting to suck and go downhill each year on your birthday then it’s definitely time for an attitude adjustment. Get out there and live and have fun and make a difference! Stop looking at the numbers. I usually just tell people I’m 50 ish. 😉

Who cares how old I am? I’m here, life is fantastic and that’s all that matters. I honestly think people want to know your age so they can compare themselves to you. Why do we do that? Most women my age are married, have a house, white picket fence, ready to retire from their government job, maybe a grandchild or two, golf on weekends with hubby, shop at Sears (haha I know some of you just say “hey I shop at Sears what’s wrong with that?”..lol).

Life is comfy, relaxed and normal. Compare that to my life?? Don’t even bother. But people still want to do that.

If you think that you still haven’t done some of the things you wanted to do, then go do them! Stop making excuses and get out there and enjoy this fantastic thing called life and, for love of God, STOP complaining about your birthday and age. Really.

Pass the chocolate cake please.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

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Why You Need to Step Out of Your Comfort Zone Now.

My son is overseas at the moment. He’s been there since March of this year. I miss him like crazy. I keep up with him on Facebook through private messaging, and random pics he posts of his adventures. The last slew of pics he posted showed him swimming with whale sharks. Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone! eeep.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think someone just posted some pics from a National Geographic photo shoot. But nope. That was my kid and I’ve never been more proud of him. He has no plans of returning to Canada anytime soon which got me thinking about something.

Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I go overseas and swim with whale sharks too? (OK maybe those critters are kinda scary to me but I’m up for looking for giant sea turtles! )

This sure got me thinking…. a lot!!

And the wheels started turning. So here I am in Canada. Northern Ontario to be exact. Winter is coming. (which reminds me, Game of Thrones will be back on soon….yes!!!) If you know anything of winter up here you will understand why I’m itching to get the heck outta here soon!

If you don’t own a snow machine, snowshoes, skates or any other winter paraphernalia then you clearly just don’t belong up here. I don’t and I don’t. Why am I here then? Really? I despise winter. I am a horrible winter driver. I won’t take any road trips as soon as the snow flies. I hate being cold. What on earth am I doing here then?

Yes this really got me thinking. There’s surely something else out there for me. Outside of Northern Ontario Canada. Isn’t there?

Of course there is. There’s a whole big wide world out there. I am not chained to Sudbury. I like Sudbury. This has been my home for 52 years. But there’s more out there. And it’s time for me to discover it. I’ve realized there’s nothing keeping me here anymore. So why stay? Fear? Perhaps. Comfort? Maybe.

Stepping out of the comfort zone

So when do we get the balls to step out of our comfort zone? When do you we finally decide “OK world, here I come, look out!”? For me, it was easy. I could feel it deep within me. Burning so furiously and passionately inside of me. Something in me is screaming. I feel restless and full of anxiety. These are my cues. It’s time. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m anxious. I’m overwhelmed. I’m ready.

Do you have any of those feelings? Ever? Do you feel something inside of you screaming for your attention? Stop putting it to rest. Stop ignoring it! It’s screaming for a reason. It’s time. Time to step out of your comfort zone.

What’s next?

And now the real work begins, right? I mean it’s not like I can just stop life here, pick up and fly off to Malaysia to see my kid. There is preparation involved and lots of it. I have tunnel vision now and nothing is going to stop me and nothing is going to get in my way. Whatever does get in my way better be bigger than my dreams and I seriously doubt it will be.

We are all afraid of change because change requires work. We’re not sure if we’re properly equipped, if we’re strong enough or smart enough or, worse yet, confident enough. I’m not sure if I have all those qualities but I’m stubborn enough and that’s good enough for me.

I am focused now on the bigger picture and what I have to do to make it a reality. When we get that clear we become very resourceful. I’ve surprised myself in the last two months. I know what I want. Not sure how to get it but come hell or high water, I will get it.

Are you there yet? Are you scared enough yet? Can you feel it?

Update: This post was written in 2015. I have since traded in my hairstyling career for a freelance life, packed two suitcases and currently residing in Guatemala. Yup. I totally jumped out of my comfort zone and did what I had to do to be happier and live a life of freedom!

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Peace and love

Iva

a self improvement guide, an ebook to help you, a self help ebook , a personal development course, a personal growth ebook
An ultimate self improvement guide

5 Lessons My Son Taught Me About Life – #4 is the Best.

You know, as we grow, we learn. In order to grow, you must be open to learning anything from anybody. You never know where or who your next life lesson is going to come from. One of my biggest and greatest life lessons came from my 30 year old son. The things he taught me stay with me forever. ( I still can’t believe he’s 30 this year…eep)

So unless you’ve been living under a rock you know I’m now officially in Guatemala living an expat life. (Hahaha I’m just messin’ with ya about living under a rock.) I really didn’t know what to expect upon arrival and it actually isn’t anything like how I envisioned it. This is why you should never have expectations or worry. That’s something I taught myself.

Just let things unfold the way they are supposed to. I still really can’t even believe I’m here. Like I actually truly really did this. That’s fucking crazy. I still look around here and think to myself “Holy shit as if you did it!?”

Anyway so I’m here all tucked away nicely. A few minor glitches along the way where my patience was tested and pushed to the limit but I made it, didn’t kill or hurt anyone and I’m still smilin’. The airport was a major fiasco. Thank you Mercury Retrograde, sometimes you suck. 8 hour delay there, tempers flaring, people so pissed. Oh man it was awful. Moving right along………

My son blows my mind all the time

So I’m talking to my son on FB (which 99% of the time is our normal means of communication) and we’re chatting about how great life is and how far we’ve come and the different paths our lives have taken (you have to know that I am absolutely ridiculously proud of my kid…he’s pure fucking awesomeness) and he says go look at your wall.

There on my wall is this long beautiful post from my son about how proud he is of me and I cried. And cried. And cried.

Let me explain. For all of Julian’s 27 year life I was always trying to do my best, make sure he had everything he wanted (within reason), trying to improve my life which in turn would improve his life and I failed countless times. Over and over again I hit walls and hit them hard. We struggled, we were poor, but we had each other and for him that was enough most of the time. For me, it was but it wasn’t. I wanted more for him. But mostly, I wanted him to just be proud of me and proud to have me as his mom.

Here’s what his post on FB said…

Just in case I HAVEN’T told you yet, i just want to make sure that every single person i know knows that my mother, Iva Ursano, has just successfully sold ALL her shit and moved to GUATEMALA and now lives the DREAM writing about shit on the internet – WTF. She is 53 years young, still gets tattoos and endeavors to inspire strength and happiness in every single person she meets. A few months ago she went BACKPACKING through costa rica for 3 weeks ALONE and has now completely left Canada to be AWESOME. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. We grew up in a tiny, cold, lifeless (sorry) town, struggling with money and constantly moving in order to make ends meet. Now i have been travelling the world alone for 2 years and have inspired my 53 year old mother to live the dream with me. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT I AM SO PROUD OF YOU IVA URSANO !! GO FOLLOW HER PAGE!

Finally. After 27 years I’ve finally made my son proud of me. And it’s a beautiful thing. I’m not entirely sure he was never proud of me before but this declaration set it in stone for me. And really, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

What my son taught me

You know, as moms, we beat ourselves up all the time. I’m not good enough, I suck at this, I’m doing a shitty job, my kid hates me, I hate me, this is too fucking hard, I’m a loser at parenting…any of that sound familiar?

Well, I dunno about you but a few of those statements crossed my mind many times over the course of 30 yrs of being a mom.

The lessons I learned from my kid?

  1. Moms don’t be so hard on yourselves!
  2. You ARE awesome and doing a great job even though you don’t hear it from your kids all the time.
  3. You ARE appreciated and loved to the moon and back.
  4. Your kids ARE proud of you and think you are the best thing in the world!!
  5. Stop making up stupid things in your head about what your kids think of you. Every silly story you tell yourself is a lie.

Being a parent is the world’s toughest job, but it comes with the greatest rewards and lesson ever. Have you been taught something by your child? Share it down below.

“…and the award for parent of the year goes to………….”

Peace and Love

Iva ♥

a self improvement guide, an ebook to help you, a self help ebook , a personal development course, a personal growth ebook
An ultimate self improvement guide

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Everything You Need to Know About Water Fountains and Your Money

A water fountain is one of the most powerful cures in Feng Shui, provided it is in the proper location. Water is the symbol of wealth in Feng Shui. The absolute best spot for a fountain is at the front door. This will ensure that wealth continues to flow into your house. There is nothing more beautiful, soothing and inviting than a water fountain at your door.

Oh. You live in an apartment building? Condo? Something other than a house? Fear not. You can most certainly still own a water fountain. Apartment dwellers rejoice. Fountains and Feng Shui aren’t just for home owners. I have a lovely tabletop fountain that is placed strategically in my Wealth and Prosperity Area in my apartment. I love the trickling sounds.

Water fountain rules

Now before you run out to buy a water fountain pay attention to these tips first please. Also, don’t buy one just for the sake of owning one and as always, make sure you love it and it compliments your space perfectly.

  1. I’m putting this tip as number one because it is of the utmost importance. Like, if you don’t do this, don’t bother owning a fountain. (Please. Just don’t.) KEEP THE WATER CLEAN! OK, I’m really sorry I had to yell at you but if you own a fountain and the water is murky, slimy or dirty then, really, what’s the point? That’s just disgusting.
  2. The water fountain,if going indoors, should go in an area that requires the water element. Now that sounds like it should go without saying but I’m still surprised at people that have big water element objects in a Fire area. Hello! What puts out fire? Check your Bagua to see where the water elements are required. Put a fountain in any of these areas. (but remember, no water in the bedroom)
  3. I do not recommend battery operated fountains (for indoor ones) as they are usually quite small. Don’t go for small. Small water feature, small money.  Try to get a decent sized one that will fit into your space nicely.
  4. Make sure it is always running. Yes even when you go to bed at night. Flowing water, flowing money.
  5. Change the water weekly. I have a mid size fountain and I take it apart, the whole thing, once a week and clean it all. You’d be surprised at the sludge that will grow in there if you don’t.
  6. Water will evaporate so make sure you add fresh clean water to it daily.

These are super easy tips to follow but in order to get the most out of your cure, you must adhere to them.  If you do live in an apartment and you can get a fountain at your door, even inside, then do it (and lucky you!!).  If you absolutely can’t get a fountain in your place at all, then opt for a nice waterfall picture or any kind of art work that has water in it, be it a lake, ocean, river, anything like that.

Hope this week’s Feng Shui tip was of use to you and as always, shoot me off an email if you have any questions about this or other tips. I’m happy to hear from you guys and answer your questions.

While I have you here, have you checked out my new self help guide yet? It’s jampacked with tips and tools to help you live the life you deserve!!

a self improvement guide, an ebook to help you, a self help ebook , a personal development course, a personal growth ebook
An ultimate self improvement guide

Do you love listening to motivational podcasts? You might love mine then 🙂

You can now follow me on Patreon! SUPER cool stuff going on over there!!

 

Happy Feng Shui’ing

(this post contains an affiliate link so I may make a small commission if you make a purchase)