5 Lessons My Son Taught Me About Life – #4 is the Best.

You know, as we grow, we learn. In order to grow, you must be open to learning anything from anybody. You never know where or who your next life lesson is going to come from. One of my biggest and greatest life lessons came from my 30 year old son. The things he taught me stay with me forever. ( I still can’t believe he’s 30 this year…eep)

So unless you’ve been living under a rock you know I’m now officially in Guatemala living an expat life. (Hahaha I’m just messin’ with ya about living under a rock.) I really didn’t know what to expect upon arrival and it actually isn’t anything like how I envisioned it. This is why you should never have expectations or worry. That’s something I taught myself.

Just let things unfold the way they are supposed to. I still really can’t even believe I’m here. Like I actually truly really did this. That’s fucking crazy. I still look around here and think to myself “Holy shit as if you did it!?”

Anyway so I’m here all tucked away nicely. A few minor glitches along the way where my patience was tested and pushed to the limit but I made it, didn’t kill or hurt anyone and I’m still smilin’. The airport was a major fiasco. Thank you Mercury Retrograde, sometimes you suck. 8 hour delay there, tempers flaring, people so pissed. Oh man it was awful. Moving right along………

My son blows my mind all the time

So I’m talking to my son on FB (which 99% of the time is our normal means of communication) and we’re chatting about how great life is and how far we’ve come and the different paths our lives have taken (you have to know that I am absolutely ridiculously proud of my kid…he’s pure fucking awesomeness) and he says go look at your wall.

There on my wall is this long beautiful post from my son about how proud he is of me and I cried. And cried. And cried.

Let me explain. For all of Julian’s 27 year life I was always trying to do my best, make sure he had everything he wanted (within reason), trying to improve my life which in turn would improve his life and I failed countless times. Over and over again I hit walls and hit them hard. We struggled, we were poor, but we had each other and for him that was enough most of the time. For me, it was but it wasn’t. I wanted more for him. But mostly, I wanted him to just be proud of me and proud to have me as his mom.

Here’s what his post on FB said…

Just in case I HAVEN’T told you yet, i just want to make sure that every single person i know knows that my mother, Iva Ursano, has just successfully sold ALL her shit and moved to GUATEMALA and now lives the DREAM writing about shit on the internet – WTF. She is 53 years young, still gets tattoos and endeavors to inspire strength and happiness in every single person she meets. A few months ago she went BACKPACKING through costa rica for 3 weeks ALONE and has now completely left Canada to be AWESOME. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT. We grew up in a tiny, cold, lifeless (sorry) town, struggling with money and constantly moving in order to make ends meet. Now i have been travelling the world alone for 2 years and have inspired my 53 year old mother to live the dream with me. YOU CAN DO ANYTHING YOU WANT I AM SO PROUD OF YOU IVA URSANO !! GO FOLLOW HER PAGE!

Finally. After 27 years I’ve finally made my son proud of me. And it’s a beautiful thing. I’m not entirely sure he was never proud of me before but this declaration set it in stone for me. And really, that’s all I’ve ever wanted.

What my son taught me

You know, as moms, we beat ourselves up all the time. I’m not good enough, I suck at this, I’m doing a shitty job, my kid hates me, I hate me, this is too fucking hard, I’m a loser at parenting…any of that sound familiar?

Well, I dunno about you but a few of those statements crossed my mind many times over the course of 30 yrs of being a mom.

The lessons I learned from my kid?

  1. Moms don’t be so hard on yourselves!
  2. You ARE awesome and doing a great job even though you don’t hear it from your kids all the time.
  3. You ARE appreciated and loved to the moon and back.
  4. Your kids ARE proud of you and think you are the best thing in the world!!
  5. Stop making up stupid things in your head about what your kids think of you. Every silly story you tell yourself is a lie.

Being a parent is the world’s toughest job, but it comes with the greatest rewards and lesson ever. Have you been taught something by your child? Share it down below.

“…and the award for parent of the year goes to………….”

Peace and Love

Iva ♥

 

The Water Fountain and Your Money. What You Need to Know.

A water fountain is one of the most powerful cures in Feng Shui, provided it is in the proper location. Water is the symbol of wealth in Feng Shui. The absolute best spot for a fountain is at the front door. This will ensure that wealth continues to flow into your house. There is nothing more beautiful, soothing and inviting than a water fountain at your door.

Oh. You live in an apartment building? Condo? Something other than a house? Fear not. You can most certainly still own a water fountain. Apartment dwellers rejoice. Fountains and Feng Shui aren’t just for home owners. I have a lovely tabletop fountain that is placed strategically in my Wealth and Prosperity Area in my apartment. I love the trickling sounds.

Water fountain rules

Now before you run out to buy a water fountain pay attention to these tips first please. Also, don’t buy one just for the sake of owning one and as always, make sure you love it and it compliments your space perfectly.

  1. I’m putting this tip as number one because it is of the utmost importance. Like, if you don’t do this, don’t bother owning a fountain. (Please. Just don’t.) KEEP THE WATER CLEAN! OK, I’m really sorry I had to yell at you but if you own a fountain and the water is murky, slimy or dirty then, really, what’s the point? That’s just disgusting.
  2. The water fountain,if going indoors, should go in an area that requires the water element. Now that sounds like it should go without saying but I’m still surprised at people that have big water element objects in a Fire area. Hello! What puts out fire? Check your Bagua to see where the water elements are required. Put a fountain in any of these areas. (but remember, no water in the bedroom)
  3. I do not recommend battery operated fountains (for indoor ones) as they are usually quite small. Don’t go for small. Small water feature, small money.  Try to get a decent sized one that will fit into your space nicely.
  4. Make sure it is always running. Yes even when you go to bed at night. Flowing water, flowing money.
  5. Change the water weekly. I have a mid size fountain and I take it apart, the whole thing, once a week and clean it all. You’d be surprised at the sludge that will grow in there if you don’t.
  6. Water will evaporate so make sure you add fresh clean water to it daily.

These are super easy tips to follow but in order to get the most out of your cure, you must adhere to them.  If you do live in an apartment and you can get a fountain at your door, even inside, then do it (and lucky you!!).  If you absolutely can’t get a fountain in your place at all, then opt for a nice waterfall picture or any kind of art work that has water in it, be it a lake, ocean, river, anything like that.

Hope this week’s Feng Shui tip was of use to you and as always, shoot me off an email if you have any questions about this or other tips. I’m happy to hear from you guys and answer your questions.

While I have you here, have you checked out my new self help guide yet? It’s jampacked with tips and tools to help you live the life you deserve!!

 

Happy Feng Shui’ing

Don’t Believe Everything You Hear-Follow Your Passion

The internet is a great source for information, amirite? We like to watch YouTube tutorials, learn how to build and fix shit, even listen to the odd guru about startups and other kinds of fun stuff. But you can’t believe everything you see, hear and read.

Here’s my story about how one so called guru gave me advice a few years back that left me stunned, in disbelief and out to prove her wrong.

I’m on a mission to change the world one smile at a time. My goal is to reach as many people worldwide as I can. Show people that they can live ridiculously happy lives no matter what they have been through. Help them be as joyful as they possibly can, every day all day. That’s my goal. I want people to believe in themselves and their dreams.

And to eat chocolate every day.

Stop! I can’t believe that nonsense.

When I was still living in Sudbury, (which for those of you who have no clue where that is, it’s way up in Northern Ontario Canada, a nice sized mining town) I was speaking to a marketing guru and telling her my plans of world domination and to spread sunshine all over the place. Her words to me were “It’s almost impossible to reach a global market.”

Wait, what??

Whaaaat are you talking about? Excuse me? Did I miss something? A memo maybe?

Stop it. Are you for real?

That made me think. Even though I am new to most of this online networking stuff, I know I have much learning to do still and I will learn as much as I can and not believe everything I hear or read. We often tend to take some people’s word as gospel and never challenge or question it. “Well Debbie said so, so it must be true because she’s an expert”. How many times have you found yourself thinking that? They said, it has to be true, I believe her.

Malarkey!!

This, my friends, is a perfect example of when you have to NOT listen to who you think the experts are, and do what you feel in your heart and soul. Persist and forge full steam ahead! Just because someone says they are an expert, and don’t get me wrong, they probably are, doesn’t mean that they have all the answers and their answer is the final word. Don’t stop at NO.

I play and live by my own rules now. If someone tells me it can’t be done, I will keep trying until I find a way it CAN be done. Nothing is ever set in stone! Always remember that! If you have something in your heart or head that you absolutely want to do, then do it!! Who said you can’t be a game changer? Who??

I am a mover and a shaker. I am operating on a very high vibration right now and it is pulling me towards awesomeness and spreading love and joy around the world. There is nothing that will get in my way. Not even the experts.

Dig a little deeper

When someone says no, find out why they said no, do some research of your own and see if you can make that a yes. Remember, at one time, all the billionaires, online gurus and all the other ridiculously successful people probably heard a shit ton of “no it can’t be done” but they didn’t take no for an answer, it didn’t stop them and they figured out a way to succeed.

Never let one person’s frail piece of advice stop you from your dream or succeed in achieving your goal. Keep looking for answers and ways to accomplish and fulfill the dream and passion that’s in your heart.

Fast forward 4 yrs.

Here it is now, a little over 4 years later, and I am living my dream life in sunny Guatemala, the proud owner of a Facebook page with over 600,000 badass warriors and together we reach over 5 million people a week, a super fun and awesome online store and a successful blog.

Whaaaat?? You heard me. Don’t tell me I can’t do something because that will make me want to do it even more and prove you wrong. (At the time when I was talking to this marketing guru back home in Sudbury for advice, my Facebook page had about 500 souls on there. That’s it that’s all).

I’m not sharing those numbers or that huge accomplishment with you to brag. Hell no! I am sharing now to let you know if I can do it, so can you!!!

Because of my crazy persistence and determination my Pinterest traffic is also mindblowing!

Do what you feel in your heart.

If you think you can’t do something because someone said it can’t be done, think again. You can do, be, and have whatever you want. If you can dream it, feel it and believe it, you can have it and do it. Not everyone has all the answers.

I wonder how many people we will reach world wide when our page hits 1 million badasses.

Wanna know the #1 thing you need to do today to change your life? Drop your info below and I’ll share my secret with you!

Peace and Love

Iva ♥

 

 

No One Wants You to Solve Their Problems-Shut Up and Listen.

I have to admit, I’m one of those people that wants to solve all the world’s problems AND if you have a problem I’m right there with all the advice I can muster up. I want everyone to be happy and smiling and be free of pain and suffering. Yup, that’s all I want.

Unfortunately, not everyone wants you to solve their problems. Sometimes they just want to:

  • dump their troubles
  • vent their anger or frustration
  • scream about who pissed them off and
  • cry.

Can I solve that for you?

I have a really hard time being a sounding board. Actually I kinda suck at it. If you tell me all your problems be prepared for me to solve every last one of them for you. If that’s not what you want, don’t tell me your problems. (I’m kidding, really)

I am trying really hard to just be a good listener and learning how to keep my mouth shut. I struggle though. My first initial reaction is to hand out advice. My bigger problem, however, is that if you don’t listen to my advice and shrug me off then I get frustrated. “Why won’t you listen to me? I’m trying to help you!!”

It was only just recently a friend of mine said “You know Iva, sometimes people just need to talk and don’t really need or want advice”. You have to learn to say “Oh I’m sorry you are going through that. Yes I understand your pain. I’m sorry” That’s it, that’s all. And just shut up and nod.

I have to do what? Shut up?

Phew, that was really hard for me to grasp. Do what? Just nod and say I’m sorry for your pain? Not solve your problem?? Good grief. Okie. I’ll give it a try.

And I did it. And it was super hard for me to do. And a part of me was frustrated that I couldn’t help you solve all your problems but a bigger part of me was just happy that I could be there for you. I’m glad I was able to be there when you needed to vent. That made me happy. And it was worth it.

If you’re like me, an “Iwannasaveyouandsolvealltheworld’sproblems” kind of person then you know exactly what I’m talking about and how hard it can be to just sit, nod and say “Awe I’m sorry”. The rewards of doing that, however, far outweigh the alternative, which is to be frustrated beyond belief after talking for over an hour solving problems that don’t really need your fixing.

Not every one wants to be fixed by you or anyone else for that matter. They just need an ear. When you can be that ear, you are more valuable than you think. Oftentimes, when we open our mouth to give advice old boring cliches come out that no one wants to hear. Trust me on this one. They’ve heard them all a million times. If someone is coming to you just to dump, know that they trust you, respect you and feel comfortable enough with you to do so.

Honestly, I get it now

You know, it donned on me recently, that I too don’t want advice when I’m venting or crying. Sometimes I do but I’ll ask the person I am talking to “what do you think I should do?” at which point they will. But more often than not, I just need a friend to lick my wound with me, rub my back and say “I’m so sorry you are going through this”.

I get it now. There’s a time to solve problems and a time to shut up. It’ll take me a while to figure out the difference but in the meantime I’ll keep practising.

How about we solve this with a margarita?
Want to know the #1 thing you need to do to change your life today? Drop your info below and I’ll share my secret with you!

Peace and Love!

Iva ♥