3 Types of People Affected by the Word NO!

You know, no is a funny word, right? We hear it and we stop. You ask a question, the answer is no, you accept it and walk away. The end. You may not like the answer no, but it’s too late, really, you’ve already acknowledged the  fact that that’s what the answer is. It’s too late and you move on. This girl has a hard time taking NO for an answer. In my opinion, the word no affects people in a few different ways.

NO does a few things to us, or to our egos I should say.  Let’s break this down into 3 categories for simplicity sake. Here are the 3 types of people and how the word no affects them.

The Failures

For some, it makes us feel like failures. We did a job or asked for a job or completed a task or whathaveyou and the person on the receiving/questioning end wasn’t satisfied. The first word out of their mouth was NO, that’s not good enough, or NO that’s not what we are looking for or NO that’s not acceptable. You get the idea here. They have shut us down faster than you can blink an eye.

We suck. We failed. We’re no good at this thing. We put our tail between our legs and move along. We’ll never try/do/ask that thing again. Why would we? So many people have already said NO to it, we must be terrible at it.

The Scaredy-Cats

(I honestly couldn’t think of another term and scaredy-cats came to mind. Take no offence please)

These guys hear NO and they cower back to the safe confines of home. They use NO as a safe word. It’s the word that, when they hear it, makes them go running for cover in the safe plastic bubble they comfortably wrap themselves in, never to venture out again. Why would they? It’s scary out in the world with so many people saying NO all the time. Right?

The Badasses

Then there are the badasses who take the word NO, glare at it head on and say “Oh ya? Fuck you!” The word NO is nothing more than a mere suggestion to them. It suggests that possibilities are just around the corner. The word NO fires them up and gets them excited and ready for war. The word NO is super powerful to them.

Why? Because it gets them ready for the next challenge of their life. The next phase of their life. The next adventure.

If The Door Closes

Kick that fucker down. You know, that whole “when one door closes another one opens” bullshit is only half true in my opinion. Why do we just walk away from a closed door? I don’t get that. Why don’t we want to know what’s behind it? How determined should we be?

I’m never sure if I’m just plain stubborn, stupid or silly but when doors close (except for relationship doors but that’s a whole other blog) I want to bust those fuckers open and find out what’s behind them. Maybe there is something really awesome back there for me. Maybe there is nothing more than a life lesson for me. All I know is that something is behind that door and I need to find out what it is.

Where Would I Be Now?

So let me brief you on my story so you can see where I pull this logic from. I wanted to be a freelance writer and give up my full time job as a hairstylist, working in a mall in Northern Ontario, Canada. I wanted to live in Central America and help feed the hungry while being a freelancer. I wanted a life of freedom. (by the way, I do and I did)

I had to prove myself to many big names on the web. They pretty much all said NO. Hundreds and months of NO’s. Until one day someone finally said YES! Can you imagine if I had stopped after 10, 30 or even 50 NO’s? Can you imagine if I just sat and stared at the closed door for just a moment and then walked away?

Just Say NO to NO!

I said NO to NO because I believed in myself and my desire to have a better life. To try new things. To experience all that life has to offer me. I said NO to NO because I have more power in my determination and desire than the word NO has in it’s two letters. I pulled up my big girl panties and said NO to NO because life is meant to be lived.

Next time someone says NO, go ask someone else. Next time a door closes knock harder. Next time you hear NO, shout YES back!

Badass.

Peace and Love

Iva

Why Your Comfort Zone is Bullshit.

Get the fuck out of your own way! Get the fuck out of your comfort zone! Stop flatlining! Get a grip for God sakes!

How many times have you heard that? Maybe some of you have never heard that and have no clue what I’m talking about.

Get the fuck out of your own way.

What way? What does she mean?

I’ll explain. In a minute. For those of you who know what I’m talking about, you just got called out. You know you are in your way. You know that you are the only one standing in the way of the shit you want to do or need to get done.

Step away from your bullshit comfort zone………….NOW!

So what does it mean to get out of your way or the better question here would be, what does it mean to stand in your way? Stand in your way of doing things you really want to do. And why the fuck do we do that anyway? Before we go on and on about how to get out of your way we need to understand why we are standing there in the first place and why we desperately cling on to our comfort zone.

No really, you’re fine here, all cozy in your comfort zone.

So this is something I’m sure many of you have heard a million times. Of course you have. You tell yourself this all the time. “No no no, I don’t need to _____ (insert desire here) because my life is just fine now so why upset the apple cart”? You talk yourself out of doing cool shit because you are “fine just the way you are”. So why bother? What’s the point?

Our comfort zone is a happy, cozy and safe place to be so why would we want to step out of it anyway? Let’s just stay here. Doing anything else requires too much effort and skill and I’m not so sure I have either right now, so,  we’re good. Let’s just stay like this. It’s cozy and safe.

The comfort zone.

So when I think of the comfort zone I imagine myself all curled up in a little ball with my Tweety Bird fleecy jammies on (yes I honestly do own jammies like that), eating lightly salted chips, because the regular kind are way worse for you ~eyeroll~, watching Vikings or UFC or any kind of show that involves hot sweaty and bloody, ripped men (don’t judge) with my cell phone neatly attached to my wrist so I can check FB feed every 20 seconds and text whoever is on demand at the time.

It’s super cozy and comfy here and I fucking love it here. BUT, I don’t stay here long. I’m not a comfort zone surfing kinda girl. I used to be though. Oh trust me, I sure was.

So your comfort zone is your place you are cozy in. It’s nice, it’s familiar, it’s safe. It also gets boring as hell. You know it does, otherwise you wouldn’t even be reading this right now.

The comfort zone is a place where dreams stay in cloud bubbles above your head. Click To TweetThey never get nurtured, no attention, no love. Nudda, zippo, zilch. They get nothing.

Oh those dirty lies.

And in walks fear. Fear is that ugly little bastard that fills our head with dirty little lies. Click To Tweet Yup, he sure does.

  • You’re not good enough
  • You don’t know how
  • Oh you will NEVER do that
  • Stop talking like that, what makes you so special?
  • You’re a chicken shit and that will never happen in your life
  • I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t (this is one of fear’s favourites)

Any of these sound familiar? I’m sure they do. I used to tell myself all of these and then some, for many many years. Most of my life actually. I have a secret for you. Actually it’s not really a secret any more. A lot of us know this but still, for some reason, ignore it.

All those stories and thoughts fear plugs in your head, they are all lies. Click To TweetYup. They sure are. Who knew right? I have another secret for you. YOU are in control of your mind. But you knew that already didn’t you?

Bring that cloud bubble to life and get the fuck out of your way.

So now that we know what a comfort zone really is, what fear really is, and why we are still standing in our own way, it’s now time to pop that bubble, have a look to see what’s really inside and flick fear away. Want to know how easy all that is? Super silly easy. So easy in fact you’ll wonder why you never did it sooner. Here are 8 simple steps!

  1. Bring cloud bubble and put it on the table
  2. Open it up to see what’s inside.
  3. Take one thing to start and have a look at it to see how challenging, or easy, it really is
  4. Tell yourself “I can do this. I don’t know how BUT I’m going to research and find out what I have to do to bring it to reality
  5. Get on the internet, go to your library, do whatever it takes, whatever you have to do, talk to people you know may have done this already, do what it takes to get information about it.
  6. Remind yourself often, many many times, in fact, that you are about to do something awesome and you are SUPER stoked and excited about it.
  7. Make it happen.
  8. Stay out of your way. Make it happen. Remind yourself you can do anything. Keep going.

That was pretty easy wasn’t it? You just got out of your own way. Now go do epic shit and have fun.

Tell the story again about how you’d like to go skydiving?

Have you checked out my new self help eBook yet From Hell to Happiness? You should! It’s powerful and has more tools to get you out of your comfort zone and into the life you deserve. Click here to download your copy now!

Peace and Love

Iva

Social Media Marketing: Choose Your Weapons Wisely.

My friend and I were discussing the different platforms that are available now to get your message out into the world. He is not a writer or an online entrepreneur like I am, he’s just a really good friend, smart as hell and my number 1 fan. I show him charts, numbers, graphs and he ooh’s and aaah’s with me.

Some of the charts blow my mind, some are borderline pathetic. Like Facebook. They now sit at the borderline pathetic line when once upon a time not so long ago they were high up there for driving traffic and boggling my mind. They ain’t boggling shit these days.

Lookie here what I found!

When Facebook tanked it was time to scramble and look at other options. I’m an info whore. I want to know who what where when why and how!! Just tell me how dammit!!

In walks Pinterest. A good friend advised me, almost 2 years ago, to look into Pinterest. I went there, opened an account, looked around and suddenly felt like a squirrel on acid with a serious case of the munchies. There was so much “what the fuck” I immediately shut down and walked away.

Phew that was close. What a nightmare that was.

Fast forward to December of 2017. Armed with caution and holding back my inner squirrel, I revisited Pinterest. I even went so far as to purchase an eBook that told me exactly what I needed to do to make it work. Alright. Let’s do this.

For the purpose of this article, we’re gonna talk about Pinterest and Medium.

There was a different what the fuck this time.

I did everything the book told me to do. Create, edit, schedule, graph, pin, repin, have a shot of tequila, pin some more, test (needles in my eyes) and test some more. Sweet baby geezus. It was hours and days and weeks of working this son of a bitch until finally it all started coming together.

I revisited my abandoned Pinterest account on December 28th and started working it. I had 15 followers ( I think) at that time and pins that looked like a 5 year old had created them. This is what happened after I applied what I had learned.

So you can see, that’s one month in. Not too shabby I’d say. I was slowly, very slowly, getting the hang of this. I went from 8 engaged and 153 viewers (this stat you can only see when you hover on the date) to 8208 engaged and 183,167 viewers. In one month. Someone say Boom!!

So here’s a full shot from December to now so you can see this shit is serious.

Crazy, right? I went from making $0.30 a day on Google Adsense to some days up to $35 a day. Mm hmm. Just like that. And the kicker? I still only have a small following, 595.

But wait, when does the acid wear off?? Where are the people?

I love Pinterest. For obvious reasons. But I’m a people person. I like to interact with people. I want talk and laugh and hug and do all that fun stuff with people. Where are the people on Pinterest? It’s cold and lonely there. I pin and run around and re-pin and eat cookies but …..

In walks Medium. Another one of those things a friend said I should check out but I ignored. It was time. I’m going in cautious and with cookies.

There are people here!!! I found people just like me (kinda sorta). We interact, we support, we read and comment and clap. Oh yay!! People!! We sit around, drink coffee, sip tea, relax, smoke weed and zen the fuck out. I love it here!

It has also been monumental in helping me get my message out to people I would have never normally connected with. I learn here, I grow here, I connect with like minded peeps here. It’s beautiful.

The squirrel and the sloth.

The squirrel=Pinterest, and though it’s not a social media platform but a search engine, it has totally rocked my site and my business. I have to admit, I have a love/hate relationship with it though. It’s that whole chasing nuts and running around like a crazy person. I’m not gonna lie, it’s overwhelming and if you’re just getting started it’s a shit ton of work but trust me when I tell you, the rewards are worth it.

The sloth=Medium. It’s chill here. I love it here. We hang around on comfy couches and share our thoughts on the latest articles. There’s a pulse here, a heartbeat if you will. It’s sleepy, in comparison to Pinterest, but nothing short of amazing. I can relax here.

Choose your weapons carefully.

With so many different platforms and sources to share your stuff, it can certainly be overwhelming. Twitter, Instagram, StumbleUpon, Reddit, etc. If you’re like me, you can get lost in the haze of hashtags, tweets, and likes. It took me a long time to find what works for me. These two, work for me.

I still tweet and stumble and hashtag and all that other stuff but I focus mostly on these two at the moment (though I still do run my FB page daily).

Pinterest isn’t just recipes and crafts. It’s so much more.

Medium isn’t boring. It’s alive with stories and people.

Find what works, and work it. This is how we grow.

You can follow me over on Pinterest here . What platforms do you love? What’s rocking your social world?

self love, self help, personal growth, women empowerment, just let it go, healing, words of encouragement, life coach
Ultimate guide to self love and self confidence

Peace and Love

Iva

Is an Internet Business Right For You? Here are 3 Things You Should Know First.

Well considering practically the whole world is on the internet now (except for my kid when I need to talk to him) and so many are actually running profitable businesses there, could the internet business module be right for you? Can you make a decent living?

Well sure you can make a living online. I did as a ghostwriter. I did as a Social Media Manager for 2 years. And now I do as a solopreneur (this job is scary as fuck). Lemme tell ya though, 5 years ago, this idea never once crossed my mind. I was a hairstylist in a mall in Northern Ontario Canada. Yup. Over 25 years, all I did was cut hair. I mean I dappled in a few other things but I always went back to hair.

Then one day I had this scary thought.

I was growing tired of the life I was living and desperately wanted more. I wanted freedom, I wanted more money, I wanted more flexibility but mostly, I wanted to get the fuck out of Northern Ontario. I realized the only way to do this was to get a job online. How hard could that be?

Well, if you check out this blog here, you’ll see it wasn’t really that hard at all. I mean it took a little bit of time, some sleepless nights and a few bouts of frustration but overall, the journey to get there was ok. I figure if I could do it just about anyone can.

And then one thing led to another and I was elbow deep in the internet business.

The things they forget to tell you about the internet business.

After a couple of years of ghostwriting, Social Media Managing and image creating I decided it was time to branch out on my own. Matter of fact, that just happened in January of this year (2018). I thought long and hard about making this move to become a solopreneur.

Doing this meant I was officially running my own internet business. Was I ready? Probably not but I did it anyway. I took a big deep breath and told my clients I was leaving them. Virtual hugs and tears were shared and off I went.

But “they” forgot to tell me a few things about this internet business stuff.

It’s really fucking hard work.

Like, I work all the time. Work is on my mind all the time. I’m on my own now so it’s up to me to create an income that I can actually live off of and not have to resort to making and selling tortillas on the streets or, worse yet, take up pole dancing at the local whorehouse.

Yup, it’s scary as fuck and hard work. I’m constantly reading blogs and taking free (and sometimes paid) courses on how to do shit. I think some nights I can actually hear my brain yelling at me “for real, do we have to do this again?”. Yes we do dear brain. Simmer down. One day you will see the rewards.

Do you have that in you?

You never stop learning

You know, I love learning but I want to learn the things that I want to learn. Reading and understanding html codes is definitely not one of the things I desire to learn. It’s like needles in my eyes. But I do it. I have to learn SEO and I have to know how analytics work on Pinterest and Google. Just read the charts, they said.

Shut up.

It has taken me a month of Sundays to read these charts but I think I’m finally getting the hang of it. If nothing else, I like the way the numbers keep going up. That indicates to me that I’m doing something right.

You have to pay to play.

And sometimes you have to pay a lot. You have to invest in your internet business. If you don’t, you might as well stop now. You won’t get very far. I came onto the internet business scene totally clueless. I didn’t even know what SEO was or where to put it (though a few places came to mind).

I’m gonna take this time to drop some links in here for you (please note they are affiliate links so if you make a purchase through these links I make a small commission which means no tortilla selling) to show you the tools I needed to run my own business just so you have an idea. I’m also sharing these links with you because they were all extremely valuable sources for me in running a successful online business. Without them, well, you know where I’d be.

First and foremost, I needed to run a professional website. With this, you need a host. I went through more hosts than I can count on one hand and have finally settled with

Siteground.

Their customer service is excellent and my site has never run smoother. My site hasn’t crashed yet and I’ve had crazy spikes of traffic. They can handle it

You’ll also need someone to help you grow and manage your email list. Aweber is who I have been using for 2 years and they serve me well!

Then you need your stuff shared. Across all social media platforms. I mean, how is anyone gonna find you? I use the Social Warfare plugin. It’s the bomb!! Trust me on that one.

Then you might want to take some courses on business building. No wait, lemme rephrase that. You will HAVE to take some courses on business building. This is the one course that took my business and confidence to a whole new level. Not only is the course fantastic but the support in the private Facebook group is off the charts.

Your Digital Formula has just about everything you need from creating an eBook to understanding your WordPress site. It’s pretty amazing. Check it out.

So you see….

Starting an internet business is not for the faint of heart, it’s hard work and can be expensive. Is it worth it? Oh hell ya. I have plenty of freedom. I can work from anywhere in the world I want. That ain’t too shabby. Though I mostly certainly am not rolling in the dough just yet, I do ok and I know as long as I keep at it, (oh by the way, persistence is key, I forgot to mention that) I will reach my goals.

Do you have what it takes?

Do they grease the poles first? Asking for a friend.

Peace and Love

Iva