You know, no is a funny word, right? We hear it and we stop. You ask a question, the answer is no, you accept it and walk away. The end. You may not like the answer no, but it’s too late, really, you’ve already acknowledged the fact that that’s what the answer is. It’s too late and you move on. This girl has a hard time taking NO for an answer. In my opinion, the word no affects people in a few different ways.
NO does a few things to us, or to our egos I should say. Let’s break this down into 3 categories for simplicity sake. Here are the 3 types of people and how the word no affects them.
For some, it makes us feel like failures. We did a job or asked for a job or completed a task or whathaveyou and the person on the receiving/questioning end wasn’t satisfied. The first word out of their mouth was NO, that’s not good enough, or NO that’s not what we are looking for or NO that’s not acceptable. You get the idea here. They have shut us down faster than you can blink an eye.
We suck. We failed. We’re no good at this thing. We put our tail between our legs and move along. We’ll never try/do/ask that thing again. Why would we? So many people have already said NO to it, we must be terrible at it.
(I honestly couldn’t think of another term and scaredy-cats came to mind. Take no offence please)
These guys hear NO and they cower back to the safe confines of home. They use NO as a safe word. It’s the word that, when they hear it, makes them go running for cover in the safe plastic bubble they comfortably wrap themselves in, never to venture out again. Why would they? It’s scary out in the world with so many people saying NO all the time. Right?
Then there are the badasses who take the word NO, glare at it head on and say “Oh ya? Fuck you!” The word NO is nothing more than a mere suggestion to them. It suggests that possibilities are just around the corner. The word NO fires them up and gets them excited and ready for war. The word NO is super powerful to them.
Why? Because it gets them ready for the next challenge of their life. The next phase of their life. The next adventure.
If The Door Closes
Kick that fucker down. You know, that whole “when one door closes another one opens” bullshit is only half true in my opinion. Why do we just walk away from a closed door? I don’t get that. Why don’t we want to know what’s behind it? How determined should we be?
I’m never sure if I’m just plain stubborn, stupid or silly but when doors close (except for relationship doors but that’s a whole other blog) I want to bust those fuckers open and find out what’s behind them. Maybe there is something really awesome back there for me. Maybe there is nothing more than a life lesson for me. All I know is that something is behind that door and I need to find out what it is.
Where Would I Be Now?
So let me brief you on my story so you can see where I pull this logic from. I wanted to be a freelance writer and give up my full time job as a hairstylist, working in a mall in Northern Ontario, Canada. I wanted to live in Central America and help feed the hungry while being a freelancer. I wanted a life of freedom. (by the way, I do and I did)
I had to prove myself to many big names on the web. They pretty much all said NO. Hundreds and months of NO’s. Until one day someone finally said YES! Can you imagine if I had stopped after 10, 30 or even 50 NO’s? Can you imagine if I just sat and stared at the closed door for just a moment and then walked away?
Just Say NO to NO!
I said NO to NO because I believed in myself and my desire to have a better life. To try new things. To experience all that life has to offer me. I said NO to NO because I have more power in my determination and desire than the word NO has in it’s two letters. I pulled up my big girl panties and said NO to NO because life is meant to be lived.
Next time someone says NO, go ask someone else. Next time a door closes knock harder. Next time you hear NO, shout YES back!
Peace and Love