Vision Board Vs. Mind Map-The Difference Will Blow Your Mind.

Who remembers the day the Vision Board came on the scene? I don’t. Honestly, I had to google some info on it. I mean besides our beautiful Rhonda who uses it and swears by it, did you know the vision board actually started way back in the cave man days? Peculiar but it’s true. They used it to visualize their hunt. See the correlation here? I kinda do. Sort of.

I also get that some people use the vision board faithfully to bring their dreams to life. People are all over that. Me? Not so much. Oh don’t get me wrong, I tried it. Me and my girlfriend actually had a vision board party (several years ago) where we sat around and smoked weed and cut out pictures from magazines of how we wanted our lives to look.

At the end of the day, it did nothing for me. All I saw were pictures of stacks of money, nice cars, a handsome man, happy smiling people, etc. I felt nothing. I looked at my board, shrugged and walked away. I felt like I just created a collage for some project in kindergarten.

It’s not all bad!

Now I’m not gonna shit on people who actually love, and swear by, their vision boards. Kudos to you! Whatever it takes for you to bring your dreams to life, you go girl/man!! All the power to you. I think it’s fantastic that you guys have a powerful vision and you are working towards creating it. Not many people do that. Too many dream things but never take action to actually materialize them.

So give yourself a big pat on the back for being one of the minority who want to work towards a better life. The vision board has worked miracles for hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions, of people around the world. I’m certain it works.

Just not for me.

Pass me the black marker!

I like to think I’m a visual creature. That’s how I learn and stay focused. Not this time though. The cut out, glued up pictures did diddly squat for this girl.

I need to write my shit out and read it daily, a million times a day if I have to. My space had become post it note central. They were everywhere. Coffee maker, kitchen cupboards, utensil drawer, bathroom mirror (ya those ones looked a little rough after awhile), dashboard of the car, closet, you name it, I had a post it note, or 10 or 20, around it.

It was chaos. And then……

In walks the Mind Map. Hell-o!! Where have you been all my life? I was introduced to this beautiful beast shortly after I tore up my last vision board (and swore I would never do that again!). Oh how I loved everything about this. One bristle board, colour of your choice, and magic markers! Woot!

Let’s write and write and write!!! I was in my glory. Finally someone got me. What took them so long (or should I say, what took me so long)?

My bristle board choice of colour? Stark white!! I wanted to see every single little thing i wrote out in black and white. Big bold letters. Big check marks. Big stars beside them.

Boom!

Slow but sure and steady, things starting happening. I wrote out that I wanted this___ at this time____ and this is what I had to do to get it___ , and I did. Things were finally working out for me.

I wrote it out, I read it every day, I figured out ways on how I was going to achieve it and it happened. Just like magic. My life started taking a turn for the better. Finally.

I would cross off goals as I achieved them. Sometimes I would have to extend deadline dates but that’s ok too. I never lost sight of what I wanted. It was there in front of me in black and white. Kinda hard to ignore that.

Choose your weapon.

Now I’m no expert on manifestation or visualizations or anything like that but I can say that, hands down, the mind map did for me what the vision board couldn’t. But that’s just me.

If you have been frustrated with your vision board lately or looking for something else that slightly resembles it but produces different results, then maybe it’s time to give the mind map a whirl. Trust me on this one. Got questions? I got the answers!

Sorry, post it notes, but you do make a great grocery list!

Peace and Love

Iva

Why I Won’t Take NO For An Answer (and neither should you).

Why I Won’t Take NO For An Answer (and neither should you).

 

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You know, no is a funny word, right? We hear it and we stop. You ask a question, the answer is no, you accept it and walk away. The end. You may not like the answer no, but it’s too late, really, you’ve already acknowledged the  fact that that’s what the answer is. It’s too late and you move on. This girl has a hard time taking NO for an answer.

NO does a few things to us, or to our egos I should say.  Let’s break this down into 3 categories for simplicity sake.

The Failures

For some, it makes us feel like failures. We did a job or asked for a job or completed a task or whathaveyou and the person on the receiving/questioning end wasn’t satisfied. The first word out of their mouth was NO, that’s not good enough, or NO that’s not what we are looking for or NO that’s not acceptable. You get the idea here. They have shut us down faster than you can blink an eye.

We suck. We failed. We’re no good at this thing. We put our tail between our legs and move along. We’ll never try/do/ask that thing again. Why would we? So many people have already said NO to it, we must be terrible at it.

The Scaredy-Cats

(I honestly couldn’t think of another term and scaredy-cats came to mind. Take no offence please)

These guys hear NO and they cower back to the safe confines of home. They use NO as a safe word. It’s the word that, when they hear it, makes them go running for cover in the safe plastic bubble they comfortably wrap themselves in, never to venture out again. Why would they? It’s scary out in the world with so many people saying NO all the time. Right?

The Badasses

Then there are the badasses who take the word NO, glare at it head on and say “Oh ya? Fuck you!” The word NO is nothing more than a mere suggestion to them. It suggests that possibilities are just around the corner. The word NO fires them up and gets them excited and ready for war. The word NO is super powerful to them.

Why? Because it gets them ready for the next challenge of their life. The next phase of their life. The next adventure.

If The Door Closes

Kick that fucker down. You know, that whole “when one door closes another one opens” bullshit is only half true in my opinion. Why do we just walk away from a closed door? I don’t get that. Why don’t we want to know what’s behind it? How determined should we be?

I’m never sure if I’m just plain stubborn, stupid or silly but when doors close (except for relationship doors but that’s a whole other blog) I want to bust those fuckers open and find out what’s behind them. Maybe there is something really awesome back there for me. Maybe there is nothing more than a life lesson for me. All I know is that something is behind that door and I need to find out what it is.

Where Would I Be Now?

So let me brief you on my story so you can see where I pull this logic from. I wanted to be a freelance writer and give up my full time job as a hairstylist, working in a mall in Northern Ontario, Canada. I wanted to live in Central America and help feed the hungry while being a freelancer. I wanted a life of freedom. (by the way, I do and I did)

I had to prove myself to many big names on the web. They pretty much all said NO. Hundreds and months of NO’s. Until one day someone finally said YES! Can you imagine if I had stopped after 10, 30 or even 50 NO’s? Can you imagine if I just sat and stared at the closed door for just a moment and then walked away?

Just Say NO to NO!

I said NO to NO because I believed in myself and my desire to have a better life. To try new things. To experience all that life has to offer me. I said NO to NO because I have more power in my determination and desire than the word NO has in it’s two letters. I pulled up my big girl panties and said NO to NO because life is meant to be lived.

Next time someone says NO, go ask someone else. Next time a door closes knock harder. Next time you hear NO, shout YES back!

Badass.

Peace and Love

Iva

The Blog That Changed My Entire Life.

The Blog That Changed My Entire Life.

 It all starts here.

It was October 2014 and I was writing yet another blog. I had lost count of how many exactly I had written at this point. I had a binder full of sites I had sent blogs to that had replied with a big fat NO. I read somewhere with every 100 No’s there is bound to be at least 1 Yes (or something like that). I was determined.

Someone was going to say yes to me. This I knew for sure.

I had a list, a big list, of all the sites I thought would like my stories. I thought they were good stories and I always considered myself a good writer. I kept at it. I’m a determined little bugger.

But why Iva, why?

So why was I doing this anyway? What was the point? I mean, I had a decent job that paid ok. Not fantastic, but the bills got paid, mostly, and I wasn’t starving. So why was I working full time at a regular job 5 days a week and writing during ALL my free time (and that’s exactly what I did). I didn’t go anywhere. I didn’t really do much outside of work besides volunteer at a homeless shelter a few hours a week. So why was I busting my ass writing like a fiend and submitting articles that continually received no’s?

Who in their right mind would even bother? Sounds tedious and frustrating and hopeless and almost even pointless. Right?

Wrong.

I was on a mission to become a full time freelancer and come Hell or High Water, I was going to make this shit happen, dammit.

If they can do it so can I.

Why can’t I? Why not me? Who says I can’t? You know, you read all these stories about people who packed in their day jobs, told their boss “I’m outta here!!” and began a journey on the road to freedom. I read these stories in awe. I was amazed, jealous, envious and hopeful, well sorta. I can do that. Can’t I? How hard can it be?

Well I was soon to discover just how hard it was. Not hard in the sense that it takes a lot of time to write, submit, keep your fingers crossed and then rinse and repeat. No, not that kind of hard. What was hard was working full time, coming home at 9:30 pm every nite, unwinding and then sitting down at the computer and writing until 2 am and then getting up in the morning and doing it all over  until it was time to leave for work again.

What was even harder was keeping my faith strong and my hopes up high.THAT was hard. So many no’s. This is ridiculous, bullshit even. Seriously, are these people looking for the next Stephen King or Ernest Hemingway? I mean, these are guest post submissions. It’s not like they are paying me.  No! There’s no money involved here. This is something you must do just to get recognized!

Boom!

Keep at it Iva. Don’t give up. You are a good writer, dammit! Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

And then it happened. In November. One month or so into my “I wanna be a freelancer” journey.

I got my first Yes! And I was over the moon with excitement. There are no words to even describe the euphoria I felt. But wait. It gets better. It wasn’t just a Yes from anybody. Nope, it was a Yes from Steven Aitchison. Pinch me, surely I MUST be dreaming!! I was dying!! Is this for real?

Oh Hell ya. This was real. You did it Iva. Finally someone else who thinks you are a good writer. Yay!

But wait, it gets better yet.

So a few guest posts later, and a few months in as a contributing author to Steven’s site, I took the bull by the horns and asked for a job. Yup, I sure did. You gotta be ballsy sometimes. I’m the kinda girl that always asks. I believe that you will never know if you don’t ask. Assuming is just dumb.

So I asked. The answer? Another big fat Yes!! Boom!! I was finally on my way. It’s finally happening. My road to freedom was slowly opening up. The Do Not Enter sign was removed. Actually, in my mind, I had painted graffiti all over it and told it one day I was going to tear it the fuck down. And I did. I did.

Don’t you dare give up.

Since that day in November 2014 when my first guest post was accepted (which I may proudly boast, went viral and had over 68, 000 FB shares ) my life has taken a whirlwind journey. I pushed and pushed and was determined to leave my regular job and become a successful freelancer. And I did.

You don’t think you can do it? Think again. ANY one can do it. With enough passion, determination, persistence and balls (ya I said it) you can do, have or be anything you want (except a Unicorn, you can’t be a Unicorn).

Don’t you dare give up. Know what you want. Know how bad you want it. And go get it. It may seem hard at first but trust me, the rewards are beautiful, satisfying and mind blowing.

No really, seriously, you can’t be a Unicorn. Sorry.

Peace and Love

Iva

 

 

 

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