Depend On Yourself to Get You Through Tough Times.

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Let’s face it. Life can sometimes suck and not everything goes according to planned. That’s why I think planning can be slightly overrated. Anyway. When we are dealing with tough circumstances or feel like we have failed at something and nothing is going right, there is no one to depend on but yourself to see you through.

Carrying on………..

So let’s say we failed at something (that word makes me cringe but for some reason, people still resonate with it so I use it for you). What’s the first thing we do? Bury our head in the sand. We stay away from people so we don’t have to answer the questions. The last thing we want to do is talk about this failure that just occurred.

Why does everyone want to talk about it? Why can’t they just shut up about? People love to hear about tragic stuff. Drama, devastation, tragedy. Yup! For some bizarre reason, they are drawn to negative stuff. And your recent failure is right up there on the list of ground-breaking news. It’s like people depend on us and our downfalls for their latest news story.

News flash for you guys! We don’t wanna talk about it right now so please leave me alone. Please. How about we talk about other stuff like oh, the weather, the latest UFC fight card, the newest skin care line that will take years off your face? Yes, let’s talk about mindless stuff please, for the love of God.

I am no stranger to failure. I’ve had my fair share. It’s little wonder I am not a raging alcoholic or crack user as a result of all the crap I’ve been through (and no, I’m def not looking for any sympathy here). The first few times I failed at something it was devastating for me. Now? Meh. Not so much. I’ve learned to handle it in a much different way. I now know exactly what failure is.

So how do I handle it now?

When I go through tough times, I still have to bury my head in the sand and cry but that usually only lasts about an hour now. (it used to last for weeks!!) Yup I still do this. Keep in mind that failure is a bit of a loss of something, right? A bad blow. A brick that hit hard. The immediate loss? Your pride. Other loss? Self-confidence. And what do we want to do when this happens? For most people, cry.

Time to depend on me and my imagination

Anyway, I figured it was time to learn new ways of handling this failure thing cause crying was just leaving my eyes all puffy and I would eventually have to handle the crowd of finger pointers and whisperers. It was time to pull up my big girl panties and handle failure like a pro. I mean, by now, I should be a pro at it, yes? I had to learn to depend on myself and my imagination to get me through.

So here is my list of the crazy things I like to do the day after failure. They don’t necessarily make me feel good days or weeks to come but they make me feel good that day and that’s all I need. That’s all that matters.


I love doing this and anyone who knows me knows that Despicable Me 2 is my favorite movie of all time. I’ll watch that movie all day! Those minions make me so friggin happy it’s not even funny.

Junk food coma anyone?

I’ll eat chocolate, popcorn, chips, Fruit Loops for dinner (yes I have a box of Fruit Loops, and??), ju jubes, you name it, I’ll get it and eat it. The stove or microwave don’t get used. I cook nothing and will only eat anything that comes out of a box and can be eaten immediately.

Pj day! Yes!

My go to pj’s are my Tweety Bird ones. They are cozy and cute. I almost feel safe in them. Childlike if you will.

Step away from the electronics please.

…and any other form of communication from the outside world. I know, crazy right??? Most of us can’t even do that for an hour. Try a day! Pretend you still live in the rotary phone era.

Truth letter time!

Write one of these to someone who recently pissed you off and tell them how fan-friggin-tastic your life is now that they are not part of your life anymore and how successful and rich and awesome you are. I love doing this. My letter is rather colorful with lots of, um, descriptive words. I can get a lot of baggage out in a short period of time writing this letter. It’s liberating and a whole lot of fun!

Oh, and no, don’t send it to them. Burn it, rip it up, do whatever but DO NOT MAIL IT!!

This is my list of crazy things I like to do that help me forget my troubles for the day. I understand, of course, that the next day, life resumes and you still have to deal with stuff (and maybe a sore belly too) but it is easier for me to get a grip on the failure I just suffered. I depend on these crazy things now to get me through bad times.

I have a new found determination to try something else. My mind is cleared, (though you would think it would be in a junk food coma) and I can view things differently, in a more positive way.

How do you deal with failure? What are your tricks that help you get past it? I’d love to hear them.

Bartender, how about some nice white wine tonight?

Peace and Love


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  • I enjoyed this post because it’s so honest and realistic. I deal with failure like any normal person. I cry a few times, but I also always look at the bright side as soon as I get myself together. I have my comfort movies—chick flicks. And always always, I pray. That’s the way I roll with the F word. 🙂

  • Thanks for the reminder to not take ourselves so seriously Iva! Failure can be crushing sometimes but taking it a little more lightly and with humor gives us the right perspective. You’ve given us some healthy ways to deal with failure. Can we do the junk food diet even without failure:) ?

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