10 People I Would Love to Bitch Slap But I Won’t

You know, I’m a pretty positive girl. I’m usually upbeat and happy and cheery. Usually. 99% of the time. I don’t really let things get to me too much anymore. BUT every now and then someone flicks that switch and the crazy Italian in me comes out and I seriously want to pull a hit and run.

Being down here in Guatemala, that switch gets flicked a lot. Some of the ways of doing things here are beyond my understanding. That’s the way shit gets done around here though. I accept it. I may not like it but that’s my problem. I am a stranger in their land. Instead I smile and nod and I forget about it in minutes.

It’s not just here though, it’s people in general. We all have those “some days” so you know exactly what I am talking about. Don’t pretend like these thoughts have never crossed your mind and you’re surprised by the candor here. We are humans and we are not perfect. So here’s my list of the peeps that got on my last nerve and, in my opinion, deserve to be hit hard!.

My hit and run list.

The girl at the counter who looks at me like I have three heads and don’t know what I’m talking about. I know what I’m talking about. Stop pretending you don’t understand. Figure it out, that’s your job.

The girl who comes on my FB page and says shit to me. Hey. Get your own page, this is mine. Stop being mean. It’s not pretty.

That one person who I ask a question to and laughs at me because they think I should know the answer. Don’t be an asshole. If I knew the answer I wouldn’t be fucking asking you.

The man at the cafe who is rude to the shoe shine boys and all the other street vendors. Grow up. They are trying to feed themselves. Be nice. (this would be my most satisfying hit and run)

The girl at the post office who wouldn’t give me my parcel that I waited forever for. You’re not going to lose your job because my product is expired. You’re just being mean. Not sure how you sleep at night.

The lady at the lake who was ignoring her kid because she was too busy taking selfies and pics with her friends, laughing and having a good time. Your child is crying and tugging at your pant leg. You deserve two bitch slaps for that.

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The guy in the alley way who lets his dog off the leash not caring that his dog is very aggressive, not caring that his dog attacked me, not apologizing for the attack and not showing any concern that his dog could easily harm or kill any of the children playing. I got pepper spray for next time your dog comes at me. Fuck you and your dog.

The lady who is making a fuss at the airport because the plane is delayed and she’s now yelling at the counter attendants. Are you for real? Go sit down and smarten up. The counter attendant isn’t at fault and doesn’t deserve your verbal lashing. (another satisfying hit and run)

The kids, or adults, who are letting off firecrackers at 4 am. Really? I mean come on. Really!! Go to bed.

The lady at the lake who was pointing and laughing at my friend. You’re perfect? Don’t be a bitch. That’s mean.

You know, I’m really a pretty patient person I just don’t have tolerance for ignorance, bullies or mean people. This world needs more love, not hate. More compassion, not pain. More peace, not prejudice. Go spread some love today.

Come closer so I can …………

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Iva

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