I appear to be a bit of a brave badass to a lot of people and for the most part, I really am. After years of abusive relationships, financial struggles and the constant battling within myself to find out who Iva is and what she wants, I am finally living life on my terms and it’s pretty fucking epic. It took me changing my attitude and wanting a new life for all that to come about.
I rarely complain and I really don’t have too much to whine about these days either. Yes, life is pretty awesome.
This past month has me getting ready for another life changing adventure. My destination this time? Guatemala. It totally just freaked me out even typing that out. I’m still in awe and can’t even believe I’m doing this. But I am.
There’s nothing much special about me.
Now you’re probably thinking that I’m this crazy world traveller with lots of money and tons of support and friends around the world. Negative. Not even close. I’m an every day person, just like you. Up until a couple of months ago, I had a normal day job. I go to the cheapest gym here in Sudbury ($20/mth kinda cheap), I eat peanut butter and honey sandwiches with bananas. I watch 3D minion movies. Some days, I never get out of my flannel pj’s.
Yes. There’s nothing special about me and I’m not much different than you. The only difference is that I have learned to face my fears and try new things. But let me share a secret with you about facing fears.
It’s not easy. At all. Many many times, right before I’m about to do something crazy, my thoughts go something like this…”Omg this is fucking ridiculous”, “what are you doing?”. I know I’ve written about this before but I want you to get it! Understand it. There have been many times where I was ready to throw in the towel and say fuck it. I ain’t doing this.
Here’s to my new life
It’s hard, it’s scary, it makes my tummy feel yucky, I feel an overwhelming anxiety, I cry, I want to throw up, I want to curl up in a ball and hide from the world because fear says “You can’t do this, you’re not _____ enough.”(you can fill in the blank). And this emotional roller coaster always makes me want to stop. These emotions play chess with me. They want to beat me at another game.
I go through all that, still to this day. These emotions remind me that I am exactly where I am supposed to be and doing exactly what I meant to do. They help me grow into that badass girl. If I didn’t feel any of them, I wouldn’t be pushing the envelope and nothing would change. I would simply be existing, watching life pass me by. No thanx.
So I’m putting on my big girl panties and booking a flight to Guatemala. Whether fear likes it or not. Here’s to my new life
I hope you get the message here. That feeling you get? That fear? Ya that. You’re way more badass than that.
Go do epic shit.
I wonder what Christmas in Guatemala will be like.
Update March 2018
I almost reworded this whole blog post but then I realized, no way. Iva, they need to know what happened after you booked your flight to Guatemala and what Christmas really was like in Guatemala.
I’m still here, over 2 years later and I absolutely friggin love it here. Christmas was nothing short of fun and amazing. Me and my Canadian friends swam in the beautiful Lake Atitlan on Christmas morning and the fireworks in the evening lasted almost an hour. This new life is mind blowing!
I’ll say this again, Flick your fear, Go live life on your terms and do epic shit!!! Want a new life? Change your attitude.
Peace and Love!