Everyone has their happy place. For someone it is their home or for someone it is in some corner of the world. While for someone it is in the arms of their loved one. What I’ve learned, in what I’ve faced, is that your happy place must be in your own company. We all do have happy places and attachments but are you struggling with attachments?
I’ll explain why I say this. We have been attaching our happiness with objects or people. But what i think is that no thing or person is permanent. You might admire the shine of the sand as it glistens on your palm, but it won’t stay there forever. In a couple of moments, it slides through your finger and sets free.
It’s all the same..
This is the same for people and objects. The thing which you treasure might get lost, broken or stolen. You’re so absorbed in the attachment that you are reluctant of getting a new one in its place. Same works for people. Learn that no one is permanent. People leave or die.Your loved one might walk away from you due to varied reasons.
I don’t say to replace things or people. You might not always forget the memories you made with them. They stay, but their physical presence from your life fades away. These things and people will always have that soft corner in your heart.
But once these things leave, so should your attachment with them follow. They once gave you happiness and will give, if by chance they return in your life. But don’t make them the only source of your happiness and end up having to battle struggling with this attachment. I repeat. NEVER.
Did you catch an attachment?
I might sound like I am preaching or I think of me as an expert on people, but none of the mentioned is the case. I have made this mistake thousands of times. Because we catch this attachment unknowingly, like common cold. We know that we have it, but we start living with it. However when we are jerked free of that attachment we wake up haphazardly. We aren’t ready to acknowledge that the thing or person is gone.
At this point, I got detached from one of my attachments and the thing is that, I was so accustomed to the existence of my attachment that i couldn’t imagine a life without it. If you start thinking like this then hear the sirens, you are in danger. You’re the most vulnerable version of you now. Struggling with attachments can be very crippling.
What I’ve seen is that people (even I’ve done the same) disconnect themselves from the outside world. Like the scenario is that there are different good things happening at the same time, however we only focus on the loss of that one thing. Based on that we decide that since we don’t have that thing, we’re sad.
Detachment is the key to this sadness. Learn to detach yourself from the thing or person once you start realising that you’re turning your attachment into your necessity. Don’t be emotionally detached. Like completely. Then you’re no different from a zombie. Attach wisely.
There is that hollow feeling with which we are left with when our attachment is taken away. In this time the stupidest thing to do would be to get attached to a new thing/person. I went through the same scenario and realized that in this hollow period, the best thing to do is to focus on myself. You must stop the cycle of struggling with attachments.
Do things which make you happy. Do not limit your happiness to a person or thing. Learn to let things go. One lifetime cannot fit all experiences. Let the negativity go. Once you start doing that and start distracting yourself, you’ll recover miraculously. Always remember that hard choices always lead to better decisions. Start doing things which you’ve been pushing for a long time or thought that those were out of your league.
Only you have the right to be your happy place. Only you can make yourself happy and no one else. Start being selective. Don’t decide your choices by other’s. Happiness or happy places are only in your company where you nourish, enhance and build yourself. Not where you hang your sanity, emotions and scrape into your vulnerable,weak self.
“Honey, you’re the shore, you’re the calm;
Don’t let the waves break you,
Look in the mirror, you’re the storm.”