Empaths love to help others. They’re always trying to see the best in people. They give others the benefit of the doubt, while they also take responsibility for their actions and still apologize when they know they have hurt someone. Empaths believe that others are good, decent, and fair, as well. Even their toxic partners.
These are some good signs, but, unfortunately, not always.
Empaths deal with problems when they connect with individuals who have motives, and patterns of behavior that are completely foreign to them. These individuals might be driven by a need for money, power, or fame and attention. They put their needs above everyone else’s, and they never apologize as, in their minds, they’re never wrong. If they hurt someone in the process of their getting what they want, that is just the price of doing business.
That’s what a toxic partner is. While not everyone is a psychopath, sociopath, or narcissist, many of them are. Therefore, it does not hurt to approach them all with equal caution. If you’re an empath and you become involved with such a toxic person, then remember that you are setting yourself up to be abused, or misused, or generally mistreated.
Why empaths attract toxic partners
The reason for this attraction
Empaths attract others, especially toxic partners because not only they take responsibility for themselves, but they’re also prone to take responsibility for others.
If empaths think – or are lead to think – that their partner is upset, angry, hurt, because of something they either did or did not do, the empaths will take on the responsibility for fixing it, even if the other person becomes abusive.
The empaths will effectively absolve the other person of all responsibility for anything they did by blaming themselves.
Of course, toxic people are more than glad to let empaths do that. Even when confronted with their manipulative behaviors, toxic people will twist whatever happened around so that the empaths appear to be the ones to blame.
How to turn the table
So, empaths, let’s get a grip. You’re not responsible for how everyone else feels.It’s not always your fault.
You’re not the only one responsible for “fixing” a relationship. You’ll never understand why a toxic person mistreats you until you know that: toxic people are nothing like you! They’re not nice people, they don’t feel responsible for how they behave, and they are not fixable.
Once you resign from your self-assigned positions as Mother Teresa and give responsibility back to the ones from whom you’ve voluntarily taken it, you won’t attract toxic partners anymore.
This article was originally titled The Truth Behind Why Empaths Attract Toxic Partners and How to Change That. and published on Thinking Humanity. It is re-posted here under a Creative Commons Attribution 3.0 Unported License.