Independent of all the self help gurus and positive affirmation eBooks and information available to us today, some of it for free, we still struggle to find self worth. We still struggle to believe in ourselves and our self confidence is severely lacking. We simply don’t think we are of much importance. In this inspiring and fun guest post by Michelle Monet she reminds us that you matter. More so than you think.
You Matter-a story about finding yourself again.
My good friend Nancy said today on the phone that her life changed when she really understood these 2 words:
She said she used to live her life as a doormat and didn’t feel ‘worthy’ of speaking up to her domineering husband.
She believed somehow that her thoughts didn’t matter. Rarely standing up for herself, she kept her lips zipped
At 63 she finally ‘got it’. She said “DAMMIT! Now I ask my SELF before I seek anyone’s opinion about how I should feel. I ask myself, ‘what do I want to do here”?
She said, “Even yesterday when deciding on which wallpaper to choose two of my friends insisted on one style but I didn’t like it. I would’ve in the past given in but I really wanted this purple striped design—even if no one else liked it! Guess what? I chose it and now I’m so darn happy with my decision”.
When we remember the meaning of ‘you matter’ we start taking action and do the things we want to do, not what others want or expect from us.
Hey, I MATTER!
You matter. Your inner voice matters. Not only does it matter but it is vital that we pay attention to it.
We must listen to our own inner voice. If not, we’re screwed. If not, we are living for others opinions. We are living someone else’s life not our own.
I have lived many years not listening to my own voice also.
I had an ex-husband who was a very opinionated hostile Vietnam vet. He was a Sergeant in the army and was very domineering. He reminded me often that he was a ‘trained killer’. I basically did what he said. I took orders.
He was good at being the drill sergeant and I was his ‘private’? He really was a severe perfectionist too—with housework, cleaning, and chores.
I was the opposite. I was one to make piles of clothing in the corner of a room, or sweep stuff under the bed or the rug. I was never into immaculate house cleaning.
I lived HIS life, not mine.
I MATTER NOW!
Now I am in a new relationship. I’ve been with my new man Bob for over 22 years. He is also a strong-willed domineering personality, but the difference is that now, finally, I listen to MY OWN truth more than his truth because:
Even though his opinions matter– mine do also. Mine actually matter MORE to me. My voice matters and so do my opinions, thoughts and feelings. He doesn’t have to agree with my ideas or even like what I have to say but the point is I understand now that it’s important for me to freely express it and not be afraid. It’s a true show of self confidence.
The 51% /49% ratio
I think we must give ourselves even more love, respect and kindness than we give others. (even if it’s 51% to 49%). No one will insist you are selfish. Hey, maybe you need to be selfish! It’s perfectly ok to be selfish.
My therapist said this to me the other day: “We are ALL selfish…” We all care more about ourselves, don’t we? We have to in order to survive. Does that mean we are all selfish, self-centered humans? Nope. We must think we matter and be selfish at times.
So there has been a huge shift in my relationship now. I can listen to his opinion about something but inevitably I go within my own heart and ask my own inner voice:
What do YOU want to do here?
My inner guide is George Burns
I have a nice relationship with my inner self now. My Inner Voice. My Inner Guide.
I even visualize my inner voice to be the old vaudevillian comic George Burns. You know the old funny Jewish comedian? He played God in the movie Oh God. To me, he is a perfect loving, humorous, image of an Inner Voice.
He says to me often when I’m scared now,
‘Hey KIDDO! (He always calls me kiddo) I’m here. Don’t be afraid.” as he puffs on his cigar.
If I’m feeling anxious or panicked he even laughs at me in a super loving kind way, and says:
“Hey LIGHTEN UP!! The world won’t end here. You are fine. Just breathe..!”
He reminds me that I MATTER. We all do.
- Just because we were born, WE MATTER.
- Because we are alive, WE MATTER!
- That’s all that matters.
All that matters is that WE KNOW we matter—and then miraculous shifts will happen in our lives. You matter.
About the author:
Michelle Monet is a multi-dimensional creative person—vocalist/musician/visual artist and author. She made her living as an Impersonator of Barbra Streisand performing from Las Vegas to South Africa to Russia. She is currently working on a memoir about her life in show business, surviving panic/anxiety issues and an abusive husband. www.michellemonet.com You can find her books here on Amazon
(this post contains affiliate links so if you make a purchase I make a small commission but the best part of that is the more I make, the more hungry bellies I can feed here in Guatemala-win win!!)