The One Thing You Lost in 2018

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Oh 2018. How it kicked us all so hard in the butt. I keep reading stories about people who lost so much, struggled hard and fell flat. It was a hella tough year for many of us, amirite? We lost many things, and some of us lost loved ones. But in my opinion, the one thing we all lost, was focus.

Lemme explain.

We all go through struggles and hard times. When that happens we lose a lot of things, focus being one of them. Here are a few other things we lose when times are tough:

  • faith
  • self confidence
  • clarity
  • hope and
  • trust

It’s hard to see any silver lining when life is throwing lemons at us left right and center. We waste all our time wallowing in self pity. Why me? Why is this happening? When is this going to be over? I can’t handle this anymore.

We lose focus and hope

Don’t feel bad. You’re not alone. Even those who put on a brave face and smile and act like nothing is wrong are huddling in a corner in their room crying. Yup. We’ve all been there. We don’t see any hope and are sure that the path we are on is wrong or pointless.

It’s hard to have any glimmer of faith when one thing after another keep setting us back. First thing we do? Give up. Throw in the towel and tap out.

I for one know that it’s hard to keep our focus and stay on track. I’ve had a tough 2018. I’m not gonna lie. There were more times than I care to admit that I wanted to just walk away from everything and go back to my ‘normal’ life in Canada.

There were more times than I care to admit that I felt like a ‘failure’ (man I hate that word) and a loser. Yup, even I have thoughts like that too. The quintessential optimist feels hopeless some days.

What’s wrong with me?

How many times did you ask yourself this question in 2018? Why is everything going wrong? To be honest, I don’t have the answer to those questions but I can offer you this.

There’s nothing wrong with you. Honest there isn’t. It’s not you. Well I mean it kinda is but it isn’t. Life likes to test us, push us, teach us things. It’s up to us to recognize the lesson and learn from it. The problem with that is too many of us don’t see that.

It’s easier to lick our wounds and wallow in self pity and self doubt. Oh whoa is me. Look at how horrible my life is. Look at all the terrible things 2018 did to me. Poor me.

But the bigger problem is our lack of focus on our why. Why are we here? What am I here to do? What is the one thing that drives me? My passion and purpose. It’s easy to loose focus when things are bad.

You’re not alone

Don’t get me wrong, I was one of those people this year but guess what? I took those damn lessons. Each and every one of them. I wrote them out, looked at them, studied them and started thinking about how I can apply all that I learned.

I cried in corners just like you. I swore and almost gave up, just like you. I buried my head in the sand too.

But this last week of 2018 has been life changing for me. I sat and wondered about how I could make things different. What is it that I have to do to make 2019 better? I don’t want a repeat of 2018 and I’m sure you don’t either.

We all felt this hopelessness. We all lost our focus, faith, hope and trust. It was just a poopy year all around for everyone.

Getting clear on who we are and what we want

You had a vision in 2018 but it was blurry. You wanted to do things, thought you could do things but you didn’t. My focus was shrouded by a thick fog of self doubt and limiting beliefs and, as much as I hate to say it, fear. You see, many of us are actually afraid of change and success.

Success scares us because we don’t know what it is. We’ve never tasted it before. It can’t be for me, right? Who am I to have the success I desire?

Well, who are you NOT to have the success you desire and deserve?? Of course you deserve everything you desire, especially success but not just in your career but in all areas of your life. You are so deserving of success and abundance. Be clear on that right now.

But don’t forget your why. Why do I want this? Why do I want to do this? Why am I doing this? Focus on your why. Remember why you started in the first place. Remember what it’s all for. Did you lose site of that? It’s ok, so did I.

The first step

The first thing you need to do is release all the troubles and defeats from 2018. It’s done and over with. There’s nothing you can do about it now and there’s no turning back. I do, however, want you to look back and pull all the lessons from this past year.

Take them one by one and look at them and figure out how to apply them to 2019. I also want you to write two letters. Two open letters to all the people who hurt you and then an open letter to yourself.

In this letter to the others, I want you to forgive them and release them. Let them go. Write out all the wrong they did, how they hurt you and how you forgive them.

Then the next open letter is to yourself. I say open letters because I want you to write from your heart, pour it all out and leave nothing bottled up. Get it all out now and release it. Here are two examples of letters I have written. One is to the people who hurt me and the other is an empowering open letter to myself for motivation and inspiration.

An Open Letter to All Who Have Hurt Me

Dear Me, Damn You. 

Read them and see how you feel after reading them. Then I want you to write your own. Releasing any and all negative things from our life going into 2019 is key! It’s something you must do. You can’t move forward if you are still chained to the hurt from the past.

Another thing I want you to do is find a really good book to read that will inspire and motivate you. I’m not a big book reader but these 3 books are completely changing my life, even as I type this. I’ve had them for awhile on my Kindle but never looked at them. I’m reading them now and loving every chapter. Mind-blown.

Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill 

You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life by Jen Sincero

You Are a Badass at Making Money:How to Master the Mindset of Wealth by Jen Sincero

If you do anything for yourself at the start of the new year, get one of these books.

I can’t forget my own self help guide in this list of great books you need to read. It has every single tool, tip and trick I used to release pain and anger, hurt and frustration and live the life I deserve.

From Hell to Happiness by Iva Ursano

No more playing small

We’re done with that. It sucks. It’s time to step into our greatness. It’s time to find our personal power and embrace it. It’s time to drop self doubt and limiting beliefs and live the life we are meant to live. The life of happiness, abundance, peace and love. It’s your time to shine!

Shine bright.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

(this post contains affiliate links so if you make a purchase I make a small commission but the best part of that is the more I make, the more hungry bellies I can feed here in Guatemala-win win!!)


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