For Everyone Who Thinks I Need an Attitude Adjustment.

(Perhaps this is another blog that isn’t for the faint of heart) This really is for everyone who thinks I need an attitude adjustment. But not just me, this is for you too! Maybe you have people in your life who think you should check your attitude at the door or conform to their standards or society’s standards? Maybe no one gets you? Very few people actually get me, and I don’t really give a shit anymore.

I’m a badass. Really. Through and through. I am. Or…wait. Am I?

I’m a softie. Really. Through and through. I am. Or…wait.

What the fuck am I anyway?

The “I got attitude” side.

Well, to say it’s a bad side is slightly inaccurate unless you believe that:

determines that as a bad side then it’s bad. But really. The swearing is just me. I actually tried to not swear for a whole day and that was the hardest day of my fucking life.

I have a teeny tough girl side I guess. Sometimes I can get in my “don’t fuck with me” attitude and then spot a cute kid on the street and turn into Mary Poppins in a split second.  So I dunno.

The “bad” side is really more of a bad-ass side. Like, I’m not a bad girl and I don’t break many laws (many being the key word here) and I’m not mean to people or anything like that. I just have this little ‘tude thing going on sometimes. (and I seriously swear an awful lot)

The good side.

Ah and then there’s the Angelic Iva. The “I love everything and everyone and don’t judge” person. The girl who would do anything she can to help you even if it meant giving you my last dollar or my last morsel of food.

The good side is the girl who takes a huge chunk of her income, every month, and buys food for the hungry. The good side is the girl who would gladly lend her ear if you needed someone to talk to.

The good side is the girl who has a *really* hard time saying no to anyone about anything (ok, almost anything) because she really doesn’t want to see anyone suffer or sad.

The good side is the girl who gets on her knees every morning to say Thank You God for another day and to ask for guidance and strength when I need it. She also drops into the Church about 3 times a week and says a prayer for whoever she feels needs it most at that time (though, in all honesty, she mostly is praying for herself )

Who the fuck are you anyway?

The struggle is real. I still, though I know I really shouldn’t, question myself about my actions. Should I be swearing like that? Should I be drinking that much? Should I seriously be going into the whore house on a drunken Saturday night? Should I should I should I be conforming to society’s rules?

What will the people think?? What will the people think? What will the fucking people think?

I don’t care!!!! (shit, but I do)

Be a good girl. Well, dammit, I AM a good girl.

I do good, I feel good, I radiate good, I give out good and receive good.

I also like to go out once a week and totally let loose and have fun and be free and enjoy life. Oh and I also like to get tattoos and the odd piercing. You know what, while we’re at it, every now and then I even smoke a joint (don’t any of you even think of gasping here). We’ve all done something that doesn’t conform to society.

So what of it?

And this is what gets me. I struggle with the “what am I anyway”? Am I a badass with a soft side or softie with a badass side? Which side of Iva should I put on today? Do I have to tame the lion in her today or will she behave on her own?

Oh and wait, why do people want to judge me?

WHY do people want to look at me and then snub their nose because they think I’m trash? (I honestly had some woman here, immediately upon being introduced to me, give me the once over and turn her head in disgust)

WHY do people want to point their fingers and whisper behind my back “oh you should have seen her Saturday night, she was so drunk!!”

WHY are people shocked when they see me leave the church when just last week you were sure she was giving some tuk tuk driver the finger and yelling to him to “learn how to fucking drive you douchebag”.

And why do I care? Why do I really care what I am anyway? But most importantly, I still wonder why I sometimes care, even a teeny weeny bit, about what other people think?

I am me.

I am a good person. I love who I am. I think I am beautiful inside and out. I fucking love my life. I fucking love people. I laugh a lot. I smile a lot. I cry a little. I love being alone. I love being with my friends. I love adventures. I love tequila and margaritas. I love kids. I love God. I don’t hurt people. I forgive. I trust. I love. I don’t hate. I love really loud music and singing at the top of my lungs. I like fast cars and UFC. I also love Vikings.  I love animated movies as much as I love horror movies. I pray about three times a day, sometimes more, sometimes less. I swear a whole fucking lot.

I…I think you get it now…


The point of all of this is this:

Be YOU. Don’t try to FIT in or blend in. Do what makes your heart happy. Do what makes YOU happy. Be a badass. Be a good person. If you already are, keep at it. Live your laugh for YOU!. Break rules. Be daring. Live on the edge. Do shit that absolutely terrifies and excites you at the same time. Be badass. Be ballsy. Do that thing that you’ve always wanted to do. Break chains. Throw the book out! Liberate yourself. Follow your heart. Fulfill your purpose and passion. Tell someone to Fuck Off! (ok wait, maybe don’t do that)

You get my point. This is YOUR life. Do YOU! The way YOU want.

Because life is TOO damn short and FUCK what everybody thinks or says.  Go Live!!!

(phew, wait, was that a rant?)

Peace and Love


4 Powerful Statements Your Self Talk Should Include.

You know, I’m a firm believer in talking to yourself. Me, myself and I have brilliant conversations all day long. Oh, don’t get me wrong, I talk to other people a lot throughout my day too but I really enjoy talking to myself.

Really, I do.

Sometimes I argue back but I always win so it’s never really satisfying when we fight. It’s more of an ego thing I think.

Most of my *in person* conversations go something like this:

  • where the fuck did I put my purse?
  • omg I can’t believe I just did that.
  • as if he said that
  • should I buy another dress today?

But honestly, my favourite conversations with myself usually go something like this:

  • your hair looks awesome today
  • my God I’m beautiful
  • I sure love my life
  • I am in such a ridiculously good mood today.

Yup those are my favourite ones.

Me, myself and I.

We really are best friends. We weren’t always though. Up until about 4 years ago, myself and I fought all the time. It was hell. Really.

Sometimes me and myself would get into some juicy arguments too. The struggle was real. Yup, for most of my life, the three of us could barely stand each other.

But about 4 years ago, we went on a major road trip. Myself resisted a bit because she knew what was coming. Me was a little apprehensive but willing nonetheless and I was very eager to take this trip.

Me, myself and I went on a road trip of a lifetime, literally, and came back with empty suitcases. Yup.

We dumped all our emotional trash. We had a bonfire and burned it all. We roasted marshmallows and drank tequila. We were free.

But we had to learn something new

We learned how to not only deal with and get rid of the past and all the triggers, but we also learned how to have effective conversations amongst ourselves that would end on a positive note.

Yup. We had to learn all that and let me tell ya, that shit was hard to do. We had to reverse all the damage that was done when we were 13 years old. We had to forgive and release the trauma from between the ages of 25-45 (now that was fucking hard) and we had to protect ourselves from ugly green monsters.

How did we learn all this new stuff?

Through forgiveness and changing our conversations.

We went from

  • *My God you’re fucking stupid* to *Awe that’s ok, we’ll do better next time!* and,
  • *Omg you aren’t as pretty as you think, look at how bad your skin is* to *You get more beautiful every day*.

4 more things you should say

Those two statements were powerful as Hell! Here are 4 more maybe you might want to start practicing today if your *me, myself and I* are still battling it out daily.

 You’re gonna be ok. 

This may sound kind of lame at first but when you think about the times you stress for nothing, really, and continually say *oh shit this is bad* or *oh fuck, we’re doomed* or whatever you’ll realize that you probably say that more than you think. Start saying *It’s ok. Everything will be ok. Don’t worry. Take a deep breath and chill the fuck out* Really. Start saying those things lots. All the time.

You can do this. 

Fear is a son of a bitch. He’ll stop you dead in your tracks all the time. He comes up with some really stupid excuses all the time. He thinks you’re stupid, but you’re not. It’s time to tell fear to take a hike and start telling yourself that you can do this. *I got this shit. I can deal with this. I can handle this no problem!* Give that ego of yours a big boost.

You are perfect just the way you are. 

Ok, I know that none of us are perfect, but man, do we need to beat ourselves up so badly all the time? Hell no. There is nothing wrong with you. Each and every little thing about you is unique to you so how can it be anything but perfect? It’s perfectly you. Embrace every ounce of you.

I love you. 

How often do you do this? How many times do you either look at yourself in the mirror and say this or just randomly be walking through a room and tell yourself *I love you*? I’m gonna guess you don’t do it hardly enough. Tell yourself this daily, many times. All the time. Sing it, shout it, whisper it, however you want to do it (mind you, singing it is really fun!), just do it. The powerful effect this has is mindblowing. Trust me on that one.

You have to remember, always, that when you talk to yourself, guess what? You are the only one listening. Make the conversation a lovely one. Every time.

*What did she just say?*

Peace and Love



Don’t Miss Out on the Energy From the March 2018 New Moon.

The new moon of March 2018 happened on the 17th of this month. I felt the energy like none I’ve ever felt before. I had an emotional dump a couple of days before it happened. I knew something was in the air. I felt it hard! Now if you know me at all, and follow my blogs, you already know I love the moons, full and new and the powerful energy that comes with them.

I set my calendars to these monumental events. Why? Because they impact me in such a way that I would be a fool to miss them. But you’re probably thinking, ok Iva, the new moon was last night, I missed it and all the wonderful energy it brought with it..

Wrong! I used to think like this too. Then I started digging a little deeper and researching and learning as much as I could about the moons and the energy they give us. I got good news for you!! Did you know you can still take in all the new moon’s energy for up to two weeks after it happens?


So what does this energy mean?

So what’s the big deal and why should you care? Lemme tell ya.

This month’s new moon is in Pisces which may not mean anything to you but listen up. Without getting too astrological on you, this means old wounds will surface so you can view them again. They come up for that exact reason. You aren’t done dealing with them and you need to!

It means it’s time to dig deep, real deep, into past conflicts, old hurts, things that are still weighing down on you and give them a fresh perspective. One of love, forgiveness and release. You already know holding on to all that old shit is no good for you anyway. Get rid of all this toxic energy, asap. Do what you gotta do but for the love of God and all things holy, dump it.

What now?

Forge ahead!! Now that you’ve dumped all this toxic energy (you did do that, right?) it’s time to look ahead into the future. I’m not big on planning because things change in a blink of an eye but I do “surface” plan which means, I have an idea and I should probably look at ways of implementing it because I think it’s a good idea!

You’ve got rid of the old and now it’s time to make room for the new. What do you want? What kinds of things do you want in your life? Do you already have an idea or dream that you let sit on the backburner but didn’t bring to the light because you were too bogged down with yesterday’s shit?

Release it now!! Your dream, goal, plan and/or idea. You have two weeks under this new moon energy to start making progress on this. Get at it!

But wait, there’s more to this energy!!

Mercury Retrograde is gonna be rearing it’s head during this time. Did you just groan? I feel ya. I remember a time when I used to be terrified of Mercury Retrograde. Not anymore. Bring it! Mercury is a blessing for me. It teaches me things like patience and strengthens my sense of humour.

During this time, while you’re dumping and planning, shit might not go the way you want it to. Don’t fret. That’s good ole’ Merc throwing curveballs at you. Take a deep breath and laugh it off. I’ve learned to do this now with this energy.

Remember, everything is temporary, even your troubles.

Get cracking!

You got two weeks to take in this energy and get shit done. Stop wasting your time wallowing over yesterday’s hurts and frustrations. Acknowledge them, bless them, deal with them and move on. You are here for so much greatness! Embrace the awesomeness in you and move ahead.

Have something big you want to manifest? Write it out! On the night of the new moon, I like to write out my wishes, usually 5 or so, and meditate on them. You still have time to do this. Write them out, feel them, release them and allow them to show up for you!

Ah isn’t all this energy stuff fantastic?

“I wonder what time Johnny Depp will arrive?”

Peace and Love



How to Deal With the Memory (and the trauma) From the Past.

The past is a funny thing. I don’t mean funny ha-ha, I mean funny hmmmm. We want to forget it. Really we do. We don’t want to keep going back there. It fucking sucks. We forgive the hurt and the pain, well some of us do anyway, but forgetting? The memory is always there, just a blink of an eye away.


You will never forget the shit things people did to you. Ever. Unless you totally wiped out all your memory cells, you will never forget. BUT, you can forgive.


Hello shit memory

There are a few things that still creep up on me and I hadn’t realized just how much damage was done by my ex until I tried to function daily on my own and things would pop up that would remind me of him. *FUCK*

It’s not just memories from him, but other shit parts of my life as well. My childhood, my son’s father, my teenage years, old bosses, etc. You get the idea.

I’m not going to go into any of the sordid details (unless you really want me to) but I will give you a couple of examples to put it into perspective for you (and not just from my ex).

Example 1:

To this day, I can’t sleep with anyone.  Like I have to be exhausted beyond belief in order to fall asleep in bed with someone. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it, but I have such sleep terror and anxiety that it just won’t happen until I heal the trauma he caused me at bedtime.

It’s something that I’ve been thinking of working on and it just may be time to do that.

Example 2:

 When I’m on Facebook and the douchebag who helped himself to $1000 of my money while I was in the air flying to Guatemala posts something I want to jump through the monitor and rip his fucking face off.

I should work on that too.

What to do, what to do.

So the past creeps up every now and then and it haunts us like a really bad, or should I say, really good Stephen King movie. The sucky thing about it is that we could be skipping along throughout our day, minding our own business being all happy and chipper and whammo, a memory creeps up. Dammit.

And in the blink of an eye, you’re about ready to lose your shit and cry or, worst yet, commit murder. So what to do? I mean, what DO we do???

I don’t know about you, but for me, some memories from my past can have little to no effect on me while others may have me gloomy for an hour or two.

So what do you do? No really, I’m asking you, what do you do?

Fleeting thoughts, anyone?

Many shit memories from my past come and go. They mean nothing. I’m over it. It’s done. I’ve forgiven and I’ve even just about forgotten the hurt it caused me then. Just about. Most memories really do just fleet through.

We normally don’t hold on to them for many reasons such as:

  • we aren’t there anymore (in the past)
  • they no longer serve us
  • they no longer bother us
  • the person who hurt us might be deceased
  • that was then, this is now

Thankfully for most of us, many of our memories come and go.

But….then there are the ones that haunt us.

Let’s get to work.

There are still some memories that, when they do creep up, drive me bat shit crazy. I know it’s time to deal with them. I totally get that. Forgiveness frees us of the anger, hurt and pain from the past but it doesn’t free of us memories, unfortunately.

So how do we deal with them? I wish I had answers for you. Really I do. I know when I blog, at the end of each blog I try to have some sort of call to action for you, an encouraging word or thought, something you can take to the bank. Not this time.

This time all I have for you is this. When the past creeps up to haunt you, in my opinion, it’s a sign that some things haven’t been healed and need to be dealt with either through counseling or more holistic methods. Meditation, NLP maybe, I honestly don’t know. For me, I brush them under the rug and carry on my day.

I’m open to suggestions.

Tequila often does the trick of wiping out our hard drives too.  Jus sayin’.

Peace and Love