Step Away From Your Comfort Zone. It’s Bullshit.

by Iva Ursano .

My son is overseas at the moment. He’s been there since March of this year. I miss him like crazy. I keep up with him on Facebook through private messaging, and random pics he posts of his adventures. The last slew of pics he posted showed him swimming with whale sharks. Talk about stepping out of your comfort zone! eeep.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d think someone just posted some pics from a National Geographic photo shoot. But nope. That was my kid and I’ve never been more proud of him. He has no plans of returning to Canada anytime soon which got me thinking about something.

Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I go overseas and swim with whale sharks too? (OK maybe those critters are kinda scary to me but I’m up for looking for giant sea turtles! )

This sure got me thinking…. a lot!!

And the wheels started turning. So here I am in Canada. Northern Ontario to be exact. Winter is coming. (which reminds me, Game of Thrones will be back on soon….yes!!!) If you know anything of winter up here you will understand why I’m itching to get the heck outta here soon!

If you don’t own a snow machine, snowshoes, skates or any other winter paraphernalia then you clearly just don’t belong up here. I don’t and I don’t. Why am I here then? Really? I despise winter. I am a horrible winter driver. I won’t take any road trips as soon as the snow flies. I hate being cold. What on earth am I doing here then?

Yes this really got me thinking. There’s surely something else out there for me. Outside of Northern Ontario Canada. Isn’t there?

Of course there is. There’s a whole big wide world out there. I am not chained to Sudbury. I like Sudbury. This has been my home for 52 years. But there’s more out there. And it’s time for me to discover it. I’ve realized there’s nothing keeping me here anymore. So why stay? Fear? Perhaps. Comfort? Maybe.

Stepping out of the comfort zone

So when do we get the balls to step out of our comfort zone? When do you we finally decide “OK world, here I come, look out!”? For me, it was easy. I could feel it deep within me. Burning so furiously and passionately inside of me. Something in me is screaming. I feel restless and full of anxiety. These are my cues. It’s time. I’m scared. I’m excited. I’m anxious. I’m overwhelmed. I’m ready.

Do you have any of those feelings? Ever? Do you feel something inside of you screaming for your attention? Stop putting it to rest. Stop ignoring it! It’s screaming for a reason. It’s time. Time to step out of your comfort zone.

What’s next?

And now the real work begins, right? I mean it’s not like I can just stop life here, pick up and fly off to Malaysia to see my kid. There is preparation involved and lots of it. I have tunnel vision now and nothing is going to stop me and nothing is going to get in my way. Whatever does get in my way better be bigger than my dreams and I seriously doubt it will be.

We are all afraid of change because change requires work. We’re not sure if we’re properly equipped, if we’re strong enough or smart enough or, worse yet, confident enough. I’m not sure if I have all those qualities but I’m stubborn enough and that’s good enough for me.

I am focused now on the bigger picture and what I have to do to make it a reality. When we get that clear we become very resourceful. I’ve surprised myself in the last two months. I know what I want. Not sure how to get it but come hell or high water, I will get it.

Are you there yet? Are you scared enough yet? Can you feel it?

Update: This post was written in 2015. I have since traded in my hairstyling career for a freelance life, packed two suitcases and currently residing in Guatemala. Yup. I totally jumped out of my comfort zone and did what I had to do to be happier and live a life of freedom!

Follow me on Patreon now! There’s some super cool stuff going on over there!

Please take a minute to check out my new podcast. No Holds Barred

Peace and love

Iva

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Forget the Vision Board-Use This Instead to Manifest Your Dreams!

by Iva Ursano .

Who remembers the day the Vision Board came on the scene? I don’t. Honestly, I had to google some info on it. I mean besides our beautiful Rhonda who uses it and swears by it, did you know the vision board actually started way back in the cave man days? Peculiar but it’s true. They used it to visualize their hunt. See the correlation here? I kinda do. Sort of. But as of a few years ago I decided to just forget the vision board and do this instead.

I get that some people use the vision board faithfully to bring their dreams to life. People are all over that. Me? Not so much. Oh don’t get me wrong, I tried it. Me and my girlfriend actually had a vision board party (several years ago) where we sat around and smoked weed and cut out pictures from magazines of how we wanted our lives to look.

At the end of the day, it did nothing for me. All I saw were pictures of stacks of money, nice cars, a picture of Johnny Depp, happy smiling people, etc. I felt nothing. I looked at my board, shrugged and walked away. I felt like I just created a collage for some project in kindergarten.

The vision board is not all bad!

Now I’m not gonna shit on people who actually love, and swear by, the vision board. Kudos to you! Whatever it takes for you to bring your dreams to life, you go girl/man!! All the power to you. I think it’s fantastic that you guys have a powerful vision and you are working towards creating it. Not many people do that. Too many people dream things but never take action to actually materialize them.

So give yourself a big pat on the back for being one of the minority who want to work towards a better life. The vision board has worked miracles for hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions, of people around the world. I’m certain it works. It simply wasn’t doing shit for me and it was time for me to just forget the vision board.

But………..

Then I discovered this!!!

I like to think I’m a visual creature. That’s how I learn and stay focused. Not this time though. The cut out, glued up pictures did diddly squat for this girl.

I need to write my shit out and read it daily, a million times a day if I have to. My space had become post it note central. They were everywhere. Coffee maker, kitchen cupboards, utensil drawer, bathroom mirror (ya those ones looked a little rough after awhile), dashboard of the car, closet, you name it, I had a post it note, or 10 or 20, around it.

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Forget the vision board

Then one day a friend of mine says “Hey Iva, I got something I want you to try”.

In walks the Mind Map. Hell-o!! Where have you been all my life? Oh how I loved everything about this. One bristle board, colour of your choice, and magic markers! Woot!

Let’s write and write and write!!! I was in my glory. Finally someone got me. What took them so long (or should I say, what took me so long)?

My bristle board choice of colour? Stark white!! I wanted to see every single little thing i wrote out in black and white. Big bold letters. Big check marks. Big stars beside them.

Boom!

Slow but sure and steady, things starting happening. I wrote out that I wanted this___ at this time____ and this is what I had to do to get it___ , and I did. Things were finally working out for me.

I wrote it out, I read it every day, I figured out ways on how I was going to achieve it and it happened. Just like magic. My life started taking a turn for the better. Finally.

I would cross off goals as I achieved them. Sometimes I would have to extend deadline dates but that’s ok too. I never lost sight of what I wanted. It was there in front of me in black and white. Kinda hard to ignore that.

Choose your weapon.

Now I’m no expert on manifestation or visualizations or anything like that but I can say that, hands down, the mind map did for me what the vision board couldn’t. But that’s just me.

If you have been frustrated with your vision board lately or looking for something else that slightly resembles it but produces different results, then maybe it’s time to give the mind map a whirl. Trust me on this one. Got questions? I got the answers! I say, forget the vision board and try this instead.

Sorry, post it notes, but you do make a great grocery list!

Have you checked out my new Patreon page yet? Please do, it’s super awesome!!

Do you love listening to inspirational podcasts? I think you’ll love mine then! 😉

Peace and Love

Iva

a self improvement guide, an ebook to help you, a self help ebook , a personal development course, a personal growth ebook
An ultimate self improvement guide

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This Is How The Word NO Can Affect You

by Iva Ursano .

You know, no is a funny word, right? We hear it and we stop. You ask a question, the answer is no, you accept it and walk away. The end. You may not like the answer no, but it’s too late, really, you’ve already acknowledged the  fact that that’s what the answer is. It’s too late and you move on. This girl has a hard time taking NO for an answer. In my opinion, the word no affects people in a few different ways.

NO does a few things to us, or to our egos I should say.  Let’s break this down into 3 categories for simplicity sake. Here are the 3 types of people and how the word no affects them.

The Failures

For some, it makes us feel like failures. We did a job or asked for a job or completed a task or whathaveyou and the person on the receiving/questioning end wasn’t satisfied. The first word out of their mouth was NO, that’s not good enough, or NO that’s not what we are looking for or NO that’s not acceptable. You get the idea here. They have shut us down faster than you can blink an eye.

We suck. We failed. We’re no good at this thing. We put our tail between our legs and move along. We’ll never try/do/ask that thing again. Why would we? So many people have already said NO to it, we must be terrible at it.

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An ultimate self improvement guide

The Scaredy-Cats

(I honestly couldn’t think of another term and scaredy-cats came to mind. Take no offence please)

These guys hear NO and they cower back to the safe confines of home. They use NO as a safe word. It’s the word that, when they hear it, makes them go running for cover in the safe plastic bubble they comfortably wrap themselves in, never to venture out again. Why would they? It’s scary out in the world with so many people saying NO all the time. Right?

The Badasses

Then there are the badasses who take the word NO, glare at it head on and say “Oh ya? Fuck you!” The word NO is nothing more than a mere suggestion to them. It suggests that possibilities are just around the corner. The word NO fires them up and gets them excited and ready for war. The word NO is super powerful to them.

Why? Because it gets them ready for the next challenge of their life. The next phase of their life. The next adventure.

If The Door Closes

Kick that fucker down. You know, that whole “when one door closes another one opens” bullshit is only half true in my opinion. Why do we just walk away from a closed door? I don’t get that. Why don’t we want to know what’s behind it? How determined should we be?

I’m never sure if I’m just plain stubborn, stupid or silly but when doors close (except for relationship doors but that’s a whole other blog) I want to bust those fuckers open and find out what’s behind them. Maybe there is something really awesome back there for me. Maybe there is nothing more than a life lesson for me. All I know is that something is behind that door and I need to find out what it is.

Where Would I Be Now?

So let me brief you on my story so you can see where I pull this logic from. I wanted to be a freelance writer/Angel Card Reader and give up my full time job as a hairstylist, working in a mall in Northern Ontario, Canada. I wanted to live in Central America and help feed the hungry while being a freelancer. I wanted a life of freedom. (by the way, I do and I did)

I had to prove myself to many big names on the web. They pretty much all said NO. Hundreds and months of NO’s. Until one day someone finally said YES! Can you imagine if I had stopped after 10, 30 or even 50 NO’s? Can you imagine if I just sat and stared at the closed door for just a moment and then walked away?

Just Say NO to NO!

I said NO to NO because I believed in myself and my desire to have a better life. To try new things. To experience all that life has to offer me. I said NO to NO because I have more power in my determination and desire than the word NO has in it’s two letters. I pulled up my big girl panties and said NO to NO because life is meant to be lived.

Next time someone says NO, go ask someone else. Next time a door closes knock harder. Next time you hear NO, shout YES back!

Badass.

Do you love listening to motivational podcasts? You just might love this one!! (hint:it’s mine)

Please do take a minute to check out my new Patreon page. It’s FULL of awesomeness!!

Peace and Love

Iva

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6 of the Most Common Dreams and What They Mean.

by Iva Ursano .

Ah, the dream. Who doesn’t love dreaming? Are you one of those people who remembers every single dream, and detail about it, or are you like me and forget most of them all the time? That makes me crazy ’cause I’m sure I have some pretty colourful and fun dreams, I just wish I could remember them. Many of us have common dreams and are unsure of their meanings.

Do you ever wonder what some of the symbols mean? I’m sure most of us want to know what the most common dream symbols are and what they mean. I know I do.

There was a time, actually, quite awhile ago, where I did have lots of dreams and I remembered most of them. Why I don’t any more still baffles me but whatever. This ain’t about me it’s about you and your dreams. Let’s have a look at some of the most common dreams and what they mean.

6 Common Dreams

Flying.

The symbol of freedom. Weeeee!! This can be that you are finally feeling free and loving every minute of it OR that you are feeling trapped and suffocated and long to be free. It could mean that something has been tying you down for a very long time and you are eager to break free from it, or wish you could. Pay attention to this one.

Running or being chased.

This should almost be self explanatory really. There is something in real life that you desperately wish you could leave or run from and this could be a person, a place or a thing, like maybe your job or your boss, your mother in law or maybe even your spouse.

Teeth or teeth falling out

(spitting them out with or without blood).This could pertain to a loss of some sort in your life or a major life change. Their is a feeling of insecurity in some area of your life and it shows up in your dream of your teeth falling out. It could also mean out with the old and in with the new. So perhaps you are losing something but there is something better for you to replace the loss.

Falling.

Whether it be off a high building or a high mountain, you are falling head first and feel like you are going to crash land, head first. Ouch. This dream means you feel like you have no support either through family or friends or loved ones. You feel insecure and almost helpless. This could be in a relationship or at work or in a family situation. You just feel lost and alone (btw, you won’t land on your head).

Dying or death.

Of course this one is very scary and often will wake us up immediately either crying or panicking. If you have this dream it could mean that you are afraid of losing someone close to you OR on the other hand, there is someone in your life who you wish would go away (this person could be causing you serious physical or emotional pain) Depending on what’s going on in your waking life, this dream could have very deep real meaning.

Trying to scream but you can’t.

I used to have this dream all the time. You’ve lost your voice. You have lots to say but you are too afraid to say it and this could be to a significant other, a family member, your boss or a friend. Something has been bothering you and something serious is on your mind but you don’t have the courage to come out with it. This dream could also mean that you don’t feel people listen to you or take you seriously when you do talk.

I recently had a dream about being late to a blab I had scheduled with Steven Aitchison. These kind of dreams, real life almost, are dreams of your sub conscious playing tricks with you and they aren’t fun. I remember waking up to this and immediately checking my clock. Phew, all good.

Are you a big dreamer? Do you have any of these common dreams? What kind of recurring dreams do you have? Share them in the comments section below.

Shhhhhhh I’m still sleeping….zzzzzz

Peace and Love

Iva

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