I have a really hard time dealing with death. Not hard in the sense that it makes me bawl like a baby or it breaks my heart into a million pieces. Not like that. For me it’s more like “What’s the big deal”? You see, I believe in an afterlife. Is the afterlife real? Where do we go when we die?
We’re gonna talk about this now.
I’ve actually never had anyone in my family or anyone really close to me die. Ok so my dad died and that was ok, I mean he was 88. I never got along with him anyway and his death was a blessing for me. And then my mom died but she was clinically dead for over 10 years so her death was a blessing too.
And then I had a high school friend die of cancer. That was another blessing as she was just suffering so much anyway. Then, you know, the usual aunts and uncles and old people. I mean, we’re all gonna die anyway right?
I’ve never really experienced a death that made me sob hysterically or hurt me to the core but I also don’t really mourn death the way most do either.
If anything tragic should happen to my son and he dies I will be terribly sad but he’s lived such a wonderful life already at only 33 years old.
And yes, of course, I will miss him terribly but and of course I am going to cry hardcore and feel like my heart was ripped out of my chest….but……lemme tell you why I’m rather relaxed about this whole death thing and why I really suck at mourning.
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Is the afterlife real?
I have to admit something. I kinda never really did understand this whole concept or was never even really sure if the afterlife was real. I had visions of ghosts and creepy things floating around in the air and in people’s houses doing bad stuff.
Ok, so I have the imagination of a 6 year old.
I also didn’t realize the afterlife is more of a faith based concept. Like, for those who believe in God, then you will rise again. I honestly had no clue. So I guess if you don’t believe in God you won’t believe in the afterlife?
So is the afterlife real?
Well, whether or not you believe in God I think is irrelevant. I don’t believe your soul/spirit dies with you. Just your physical body goes. I think the best part of you stays alive.
In the afterlife.
Just my two cents.
I found this really cool video on YouTube that discusses many beliefs on the afterlife. It was quite interesting. Have a listen.
I also found this great book on the afterlife
Awhile back I discovered this book ( I still don’t remember how I came across it) and was completely intrigued by the title. I found the FB page as well and fell in love with it.
But I really needed to buy and download this book and read it.
What happened then? My mind was blown wide open.
The Afterlife of Billy Fingers
So I read this book. I think I finished it in about 45 seconds (ok slight exaggeration). Honest to God after reading it my first thought was “holy cow I can’t wait to die!!!” Sounds morbid I know.
I mean I honestly don’t really want to die anytime soon because my life here on earth is super sweet and I got some serious work to do here that God has called me to do so I’m really busy right now and not quite ready to go to the other side.
But OMG!!
This whole afterlife thing sounds ridiculously, pardon the pun, heavenly. It sounds like the most magical wonderful amazing existence ever. Who wouldn’t want to hurry up and go? It opened my eyes to my life here on earth and the things that are in me now that I forget I have.
It also opened my eyes to death and the fact that death isn’t the end. Death isn’t quite as terrifying as we all think it is. Death isn’t quite as ugly and dark as I used to think it was. It actually sounds like it would be better than life on earth (but then I guess that’s all perspective really).
What happens in the afterlife?
Well I’ll have to tell you honestly, I have no idea because I’ve never been there…yet.
I think if you read this book The Afterlife of Billy Fingers you may get a better understanding of what happens in the afterlife. I think maybe some of us believe we just float around on clouds smiling down on all our loved ones left here on earth.
Could be. I’ll have to wait my turn to find out.
Until then, seriously, get the book.
I don’t grieve death like most people
When I learn of someone passing away or someone who is dying, though my first initial reaction is shock and sadness, it is overtaken by happiness and almost jealousy. Wow lucky you!! You get to die and go to that magical afterlife place.
Sick, right? Or? I dunno. Sounds to me like death is a beautiful place. Why wouldn’t I be happy for them? And for anyone who is suffering here on earth, death, or should I say the afterlife, definitely sounds like a way better place for them.
So you see I have a bit of a hard time mourning. I mean, I do mourn, a little, but mostly for the people left here after they have lost their loved one. I’m sad for them, for sure. But I’m secretly happy for the person who just left. I personally think their new life is gonna rock so hard!
Catch you on the other side.
Peace and Love
Iva
6 Responses
Thank you for your honesty Iva. It is so refreshing. You are so real, no bullshit and I love it! I agree with you about being happy for those who leave this planet. I am fascinated with stories about people who’ve had near death experiences…I agree with you, it sounds lovely “there”. I don’t fear death. I do however still fear losing a loved one tragically and that is because of trauma because I lost my sister, father and mother very tragically. So, I’m still kind of dancing with that shadow. I aspire to be completely free about death. It can be hard for those who are left behind but mostly because of what story we are telling ourselves about it in our heads and not wanting to let go. Iva, you have every right to say whatever the fuck you want to. If it bugs anyone it is a huge blessing to them because they are triggered and have the opportunity to become still and explore why they are triggered and release and be free. It’s not about you. Your authenticity is liberating. Keep being you unapologetically.
Hey Tanya thank you so much for your comment and your kind words. I am SO sorry for the loss of your family members. I can’t even pretend to know what that pain must be like. :(
I am slowly learning to not apologize for being me but every now and then I still do…I’ll get over that completely one day but your words encourage me to do it sooner :) Much love to you Tanya. xoxo
So interesting. You know, for someone like me, who can often talk to the dead, to the invisible beings, I should be the one who should feel totally relaxed about death. But I am not. I mean any other being’s death — plant, animal, or human. I am totally ok with mine because I know that it is utterly lovely out there. lol! It is pretty gruesome here actually compared to beyond. But when someone else dies, I feel really sad. I feel most sad when any animal dies, any plant dies, any child dies, or someone who has dependents die. I feel sad at a life cut short…even if it is gruesome here compared to beyond. lol. Maybe I’m sadistic ;-). But I hate to see children die. I hate to feel the pain of those left behind missing them. I am happy for old people who die…they have lived a long life, and mostly being old really sucks due to various reasons. I see the old people and feel really sad for their sadness. They were once kids…adored by all…then in the prime of their lives, powerful, needed, wanted mostly…and then they get old, alone, partner dead, kids too busy and drowning in their own lives to pay much attention, feeble, sick…I wish no one would have to go through that. I hope I never get that old. I wish I knew the art of dying at will (no I don’t mean suicide). In fact I wish everyone knew. I have sometimes experienced death like experiences – out of body experiences when I fly free. And I don’t mean I was dreaming. I mean I have been out of body consciously. There was one experience where I experienced what it might be to die. I was rising up out of my body and as I rose the magnitude of Joy increased so much that it almost hurt. I guess that’s why most people who die don’t want to come back. But I am terrified of any of my family dying — husband, kids, cats. I should be ok with it, knowing they will be happier, knowing that most probably I’ll be able to talk to them. But I rather LOVE their physical presence, and am too selfish to be calm about their going. And I loved the book Billy Fingers. :) I got the audio version of it for my 80 year old dad…he is blind, and lives with me. He loved it too. :)
Thank you for your amazing and heartfelt comment Swati. I love to hear everyone else’s perspective on death and the afterlife. I’ve never really experienced death from someone extremely close to me so I wonder if my perspective would differ. I sort of doubt it. :/ Much love to you <3 I appreciate you.
My fiance killed himself this summer. I used to be terrified of death, but since he died I can’t wait for it. I don’t think I will have the courage to actually kill myself but every day I pray something will happen that will take me away. Since he died I have read a lot about NDEs and the afterlife. I want to go there. There are so many people suffering terminal illness or getting killed in accidents who desperately want to live, I wish I could switch places with them. I think your approach to the afterlife is a little strange and if you had expressed any of this to me personally while I am dealing with the death of my fiance I would have been horribly offended. But because I so want to die, I get it.
I am sorry for your loss. <3