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How to Let Go of Pain In 4 Simple Steps

Last Updated on 2 years by Iva Ursano

It’s not easy. Letting go. We like to hang on to all the memories, the happy, the sad and the pain. Oh how we like to hang on to the pain. We like to dig that crap up and talk about it to anyone who will listen because, you know, everyone wants to hear about your pain. But we can release the emotional pain and in this blog I will share with you 4 steps on how to let go.

So when do we let go? When do we finally get to the point where we don’t want to dredge it up anymore? I mean, seriously, how long do you need to keep talking about that jerk who hurt you 10 years ago? Really.

Ok, so I get that letting go isn’t easy. At all. I used to hang on to too much stuff for a long long time. It’s heavy. That stuff weighs you down.

During my self healing and self discovery phase I realized it was time. I knew it was going to be hard. I also knew that it was time to let go of the broken pieces of the past that I had held on to for far too long because they defined me. Or…did they?

They were my story. They were who Iva was and why Iva is the way she is today.

But…it was time to let all that go and create a new story. A much happier one. A lighter one. So how did I do this? Using these 4 super simple steps. I’m not guaranteeing they will work for you but they may. You won’t know until you try.

How to let go of pain in 4 steps

1 Remind yourself youre not the same person from the past

That person who was hurt and broken so many years ago. I’m not that girl anymore. I’ve learned from the lessons and the pain. So why do I still need to carry this pain and anger? I don’t. It’s not who I am anymore.

Remind yourself that you don’t live in the past anymore and bringing all that to the present or future will do you only harm. Remember, we are here for joy.

I also find that when I read good quotes on moving or letting, like the ones included in this blog, they really help me to let go and move on. I like to reread them when I feel like sadness is kicking in.

2 Emotional pain is too heavy to carry

Grudges, hate, anger, all those negative and toxic emotions get heavy, really heavy. The thorn in your side, the monkey on your back and the chip on your shoulder only add to the black ugly blob of anger seething inside of you.

So. Is all that extra weight necessary? Don’t you want to know what it’s like to feel like you’re walking on clouds? Aren’t you tired of that stinking monkey and really, is that thorn starting to sprout?

When you finally decide to release all the people who hurt you, I mean really let go, it will feel like you just shed dead weight. You did.

4 What’s the purpose of all that pain?

No, really, what’s the purpose of that grudge, that anger, that hate? Is there a deeper meaning to why you want to hold on to it? Does it have a purpose? Will there be great satisfaction for you on your last day because you were able to hold onto all that pain for your whole life (doesn’t that sound absolutely ridiculous)?

I think it’s entitlement, or maybe that’s the wrong word, like a trophy. You hold it up high and shout “Look at all this pain. I’m stronger now because of it but I’m also angrier”.

Put it down. It’s not a trophy it’s a black ball of toxicity. It’s ugly and it has no purpose. When you realize there’s no purpose to it,  it’s easier to dump it and move on.

4 Remember the future will be better

Is the future better? How will you ever know? You’re still clinging to the past. You aren’t making space for super good stuff to enter your life. What’s ahead is just a long dirty path of anger, hatred and pain. I think you’ve been on that path long enough. Don’t you agree?

The sooner you realize you are blocking good from coming to you, the sooner you will let go and make room for it. What you focus on, you get.

Are you ready to move on?

I mean, are you really ready to let go? Take these steps for a test drive and see if they help you. I bet they will. But….

you have to be ready. I get that we sometimes like to hang on to the past because many of our memories, no matter how bad they were, make us comfortable, but in a weird way. Like, we are familiar with them, even though they hurt, so we keep them tight because that’s all we know.

Once you learn to let go of emotional pain the moving on from the past will almost seem like second nature to you. You won’t even give it a second thought. You’ll see!

Did you love this post? Does what I share with you move you in any way shape or form? Do you love the blogs I share with you? If anything I have ever shared with you has inspired, motivated, empowered or enlightened you please consider supporting my work by buying me a coffee!! A simple, small and lovely way to say “Thank you Iva”!! Click the button below. Thank you love you!! xoxo

Hey, is that happiness I see up there around the corner?

Peace and Love


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