You know, so many of us are compassionate towards others. We hear of some unspeakable pain or even just someone’s trials for the day and we instantly feel empathy and want to do what we can to alleviate their pain or suffering.
We often get so lost in helping others that we forget our own needs, our own pain and our own self compassion.
I think that when we take time out for others, it not only helps us to forget our own problems but a small part of us may feel like it is healing us as well. Amirite? Could be. That’s just my assumption.
If you are an empath (and though that’s not what this blog is about but I do want to touch on it a little), you know that you are drawn to people’s pain and trying to heal them.
We are also drawn to a lot of negativity and toxic people and events. This is where self compassion is much needed.
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What is self compassion?
Sadly, many of us don’t even really know what self compassion is because we just never practiced it. We’re so busy taking care of everyone else that we don’t spend any time taking care of ourselves.
Sad sad sad. I’m guilty of doing just that.
I want everyone to be happy. I want to make sure everyone around is me is perfect, often at my own expense. I often, or should I say used to, put myself on the backburner.
The reality is, I just wanted people to like me and love me and the only way I knew how to do that was to bend over backwards for everyone. That’s a bad idea and we all know that already.
So what is self compassion? It’s about taking time for yourself and honoring your needs. Taking time and doing the thing that you love to do. By learning how to say NO when you really want to say no and say YES when you really want to.
It’s about putting yourself first, no matter what.
Self compassion is all about loving yourself
There’s an old saying that goes like this “You can’t pour from an empty cup”. I’m sure you have heard it, but do you heed the message? Do you get the message of this quote deep inside your soul?
You should. You better. If you don’t, then the more you forget to refill this cup, the emptier you will be and the less of a healer you can be.
Do you get that? You must take care of yourself first before anyone else.
It’s not selfish, it’s mandatory. Don’t feel guilty for having to do this.
Let’s look at 5 ways to have more self compassion.
I’ve had moments in my life where I forgot to love myself and show some self compassion. Especially when I needed it the most. I’ve recently learned to recognize my need to love and honour myself more and I now take time to do just that.
I am sharing with you 5 things that I do when I know I need to take a step back and be with me and heal my heart and soul.
1 Guided Meditations or Hypnosis
I love love love guided meditations and every now and then I dive into a great hypnosis that totally reprograms my mind to remind myself that I do matter and that I am just as important, if not more, as anyone else.
My favourite go to place for guided meditations is Insight Timer. Sarah Blondin is my girl! Go have a peek around there and see what you can find and what resonates with you.
2 Get outside
To your favourite spot in the whole wide world (even if it’s just in your city/town). Bring a nice beverage, a good book, a small snack or whatever you want.
Go sit in that space (might as well listen to some meditations while you’re there!) and be with you and you alone. Enjoy the surroundings, listen to the wonderful sounds of nature, take in the beautiful sights and just peace out.
This is your time to love yourself up!
Not your typical journalling though, I’m talking about sitting in peace, maybe light a candle or put on some lovely zen music and write out all the things you love about yourself.
How awesome are you? Pretty damn awesome I’m guessing.
You forgot just how amazing you really are I bet. Write it all out. Each and every single thing you love about yourself.
Guaranteed to put a big huge smile on your face.
4 Remember that thing you’ve always wanted to do?
Go do it. Today. Now, This week. Make a date with yourself, an appointment that you’ve been meaning to make for that spa treatment or horse back riding lesson or sky diving adventure (too much?). Stop putting it off because you’re too busy helping others.
It’s time for you! You have to treat yourself every now and then. You are always treating other people, doing so much for everyone else, what about you?
Self compassion time!! Do something really awesome for you!
Unplug from social media for a few hours if you have to, a full day if you can. Start saying no to someone who may need help. It’s ok to say no sometimes and not feel guilty about it. It’s not up to you to save the world.
Let other people have a chance to say yes too! What’s gonna end up happening if you don’t start saying no to others and yes to yourself is you will become a doormat. An empty cup doormat.
You’re NO door mat. Say no every now and then, yes to yourself and see how liberating that feels.
I hope this blog and these 5 tips will help you find your way back to self compassion and loving yourself again.
Remember, you matter just as much, if not more, than anyone else. Treat yourself like you do.
Peace and Love
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