I’m no stranger to feeling lonely. I’ve been alone for a hella long time independent of the year I dated a man here in Guatemala. That was over a year ago. I’m also not getting any younger. I don’t want to spend the next 10 or 25 years alone. It just doesn’t interest me, at all. Dealing with loneliness honestly isn’t the easiest, amirite?
Now I do have to say that I love my own company. I work a lot so I don’t really have time for a partner anyway. I mean, I could certainly make time if I had one. As it stands right now, I’m just trying to learn how to deal with loneliness.
About a month or so ago someone had put out a call for foster homes for stray puppies. I jumped on it. Why? Because having another body in the house, even though it’s a furry one, will help me cope with this loneliness. I think. At the very least, it’s a really good distraction.
Feeling sad and depressed
Tonight as I sit here and type this, I am most certainly feeling lonely. That’s where this blog comes from. I like to write through my feelings. It helps me. A lot. I’m not sure I can go so far as to say I’m depressed but it’s pretty darned close. I’m feeling sad tonight. Truth be told.
It’s not a pleasant feeling either and not one that strikes me often but when it does, it sure hits hard. Sometimes I just want to curl up in a ball and cry. Other times I feel that if I drink enough tequila surely the feeling of loneliness will go away, no?
I’m no expert on how to deal with loneliness. All I know is that the tools I use sure help me and I just want to share them with you now in hopes they help you too!
How to cope with loneliness
I think it can strike anyone at anytime. Even people who are in relationships can feel lonely. There is a big difference between being alone and feeling loneliness. I like my alone time and I like being alone. I don’t like feeling sad and lonely. Who does?
So how then do we cope with loneliness? Especially when all we want to do is make the world go away. Well it’s not the most comfortable thing to do but it’s not impossible either. Here are 5 tips that help me when I’m feeling lonely.
5 things to do when you’re feeling lonely
Write out your feelings
Just like I’m doing right now. I’m writing through it and sharing my loneliness with you. You can write whatever you want really but I would suggest one of two things:
- write about why your sad, or
- write about the things you are grateful for
It doesn’t have to be Hemmingway stuff. Just anything really. When we write from our heart and soul and pour it all out, it’s no longer bottled up inside of us. It’s good to get it out.
Cry it out
Yup. Put on your favourite heartbreaking music (or not) and have a good sob fest. This is soooo therapeutic for me. It makes me feel like I’m detoxifying my soul. Nuttin’ wrong with that. Even our soul needs a good cleanse! Crying doesn’t make you weak or a wimp. It shows you have heart and feelings. It shows you are a perfectly imperfect human being. Cry your little heart out and I promise you will feel so much better.
Call a friend
Now this may sound like a no brainer but I know personally, sometimes I need people to tell me to do this. I’ll tell someone I was said on a certain night and they’ll say, “why didn’t you call me?”. Our friends really don’t want us feeling lonely. It makes them sad to know that we were sad and depressed and didn’t reach out to them.
Besides, you never know how the conversation will end up and it may have the two of you laughing your heads off by the time it’s done!
Go for a walk
Though this is probably the last thing you want to do, it’s probably one of the best things you can do when dealing with loneliness. Curling up in a ball and wishing the world will go away isn’t going to help you cope with loneliness. Trust me on that one.
When you get out, you never know who you are going to meet on your journey. Go hit up a new coffee shop or bookstore and maybe make a new friend. The possibilities are endless. You soon won’t be lonely for very long.
Read a book or watch something funny on TV
Do you have a good book sitting on your bookshelf that you’ve been putting off reading? Now might be the time to grab it and get lost in the story. Not much into reading? Turn on the TV. Though I’m not a huge fan of television I have to admit, when I’m feeling lonely or sad, the TV is a welcome distraction.
I like to watch very off the wall stuff. Vikings, UFC, Game of Thrones, things like that. These take me to another world and suddenly I’m not feeling sad or lonely. It fills the gap.
Dealing with loneliness isn’t easy for everyone
Some people struggle with this a lot. Some people suffer severe depression because of it. I’m no doctor or therapist but if you are feeling sad or depressed and have been for quite some time, please do yourself and your mental health a huge favour and go get help.
I know there are plenty of helplines that are absolutely free to call. You’re not a loser for calling so don’t think you are. I’ve included a couple of links below that I think might be worth checking or at the very least, bookmarking for the future.
If you know anyone who is depressed and needs help on how to deal with loneliness or depression, please share this blog or these numbers with them. You could help save a life today.
Feeling lonely can sometimes lead to more serious mental health issues. Please help.
If you are feeling stuck or frustrated in any part of your life, my self help guide might be just what you need. From Hell to Happiness is the story of how I went from total misery to happiness. Click on the link to see if it’s right for you. It truly is life changing and powerful.
Peace and Love
xo iva xo