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When Friendships Change-6 Reasons Why You Lose Friends

Last Updated on 3 years by Iva Ursano

Do you remember your best friend from kindergarten? What about Sally from elementory school or Jane from high school. Weren’t they all your best friends? Have you noticed how friendships change as your life changes.

But then as we become older adults and we have established so called friendships and then we keep on making changes in our life, well these friendships change too.

I’m going to break this down a wee bit so you can understand it a little better and stay true to yourself and your personal growth. I want to first talk about your change.

Good for you!!!! You made the biggest and best decision in your life. To change. It’s hard isn’t it? Not only do YOU have to become accustomed to all the “changes” you are experiencing, but so does everyone else. And trust me, they ain’t happy about it.

Your friends and family really do want the best for you, er, or do they, and they want you to be happy but not really happy. They really just want you to stay the same, don’t change anything, and then you guys can be best buds til you die.

When friendships change it’s kinda hard and sad

I mean some of our friends we’ve had for a really long time and we’ve been through some really crazy stuff together. But friendships do change, as we change and grow.

Not everyone is on the same growth path as you are. Some people don’t want to ever change or grow. They like their life just as it is and that’s cool too. But that’s where your friendships change.

Drifting apart or losing friendships entirely is a natural part of life—and it’s something experts call the “friendship curve.” The less depressing news is that there are ways to feel at peace with it.

Source: Shape

But not all of us are like that. Some of us yearn for change and growth and new stuff. That’s where you will see your friendships change.

There are a few things to keep in mind as you grow and change. Your friends may not like it. At all. You’re changing and evolving and becoming a person they are not familiar with and it makes them uncomfortable.

Below are a few more reasons why your friends don’t want you to change.

6 reasons why your friendships change

You’re getting strange

Not strange in the sense that you’ve become a weirdo (unless you have) but you’re different. Your behaviour is different. That thing you do with your hand, you know when you put it up almost like you’re saying “No”. That’s new…and strange, so strange. What do you mean, no?

You don’t seem to like the same things anymore or want to talk about the same things or go to the same places. It’s like you’re an alien now. No one gets you anymore

Your balls are bigger

Like, when did you get balls anyway? Weren’t you just a submissive little mouse yesterday? Weren’t you the person who would answer to my beck and call extremely obediently? Wasn’t that you? I said “jump” and you would always reply “how high”.

But you’re not that person anymore because you finally got tired of people treating you like a doormat and they don’t like that one bit.

How to set boundaries and gain respect

You don’t want to do ‘those’ things anymore

Like sitting around and drinking wine and complaining about life and gossiping about other people. You’re so done with all that. You don’t want to go party til you puke anymore.

You are changing the things you want to do and don’t want to do anymore. Things you used to do no longer interest or serve you. Your friends just don’t get that.

You’re going where?

Maybe it’s a career change you are seeking or a whole new playing field. Whatever it is, you are going to do it, and they’re freaking out. School? Oh. You want to be smarter than me? Volunteer? Oh. You have better things to do with people other than me? Move cities/countries/continents. Oh, you think you’re all worldly now?

They don’t understand that you want change. You crave change. You’re done being stuck in mediocrity.

You’re unrecognizable.

They’re freaking out. You are changing, growing and evolving into this strong wonderful magnificent person and they don’t know who you are. How are they supposed to act around you now? They don’t even know if they like you anymore.

Maybe you guys aren’t compatible or connected anymore. Whatever bond or tie you had, has suddenly become very very thin. You aren’t the person they knew and loved anymore. They’re really not so sure they like you. You actually kinda make them feel insignificant.

This actually happens a lot. As we change and our friends stay the same, the friendships end. It is what it is. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your friend anymore. It simply means you probably have very little in common now.

But wait. Aren’t you happy for me?

Why yes. Yes of course. Some of them are. Definitely not all of them.

The people who have grown accustomed to who we have been our whole lives have the hardest time with change. They want you to stay the same, forever. Don’t grow, or get smarter, or get stronger, and, most certainly, don’t you dare get more self confident.

Why can’t we just stay the losers we have been for all these years? Why do you want to improve your life? All that takes courage and commitment, dedication and discipline. We’ve never had any of that dammit, stop this nonsense.

They aren’t happy for you. They don’t want you to change.

Some signs a friendship is ending

If you’re anything like me, your friends are near and dear to your heart so when they start falling to the wayside, it makes you sad.

Can you recognize some signs a friendship is ending?

In a nutshell:

  • they stop calling or texting
  • they say no more often to invitations
  • they seem uninterested in your stories
  • they take a while to text back

And if you’re really sensitive and have great intuition, you just know that your friendship is changing. We want our friends to be happy for us and stick with us but the truth is, they won’t.

The friendships that hang on til the end

All is not lost. You have that little cheerleading team over there yelling your name and high fiving you all the way home. Gotta love the mofos. They sincerely want you to continue your personal development growth and they will motivate you, inspire you and cheer you on all the way.

Stick with them. Not everyone is going to love your journey. It’s your journey. YOU love it and stick to it. Some people from your life will fall to the wayside, some will cheer you on and maybe even some others will join you.

Are you ready to make some drastic changes to your life? Ready to overhaul and step into the magnificent being you should be? Click the image below and join the 21 day challenge today!!


Don’t forget, the most important ones will be there in the end.

Peace and Love


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  1. Unbelievable!.I’m going through that with my parents. As I grow older, wiser and am growing in my spiritual path. They take nasty jabs at me. It hurts do badly too. I have learned to separate myself for now. Thanks Iva xoxo! Love this blog! Great job!

    1. Ah ya family can be tough for sure Katie. Good for you for separating yourself :) that’s all you can do.

      xo iva xo

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