5 Things That Cause a Broken Heart and How to Stop It
Last Updated on 2 years by Iva Ursano
Our hearts eat lies. They do. Too often we believe what people tell us just so we can feel love and that right there my friends is the major cause of a broken heart.
Let’s discuss this more.
So why do we torment ourselves like that? Why do we keep letting our hearts eat lies? Is there any satisfaction in it? Does it make us happy? Do we feel good doing it?
I can’t answer that for you, but I know for myself there’s a temporary happiness attached to it. Yup, pathetic.
The last time I suffered a broken heart………………ugh!!
So I recently just suffered a broken heart again and in all honesty, I’m still reeling from the pain of that one. Oh it was a doozy this time. My heartbreak was almost inconsolable.
I have to be honest here, I set myself up for this one. I knew it was going to come to an end. I knew that we weren’t right for each other. I knew a lot of things but I also knew it always felt good.
Ya I know, crazy.
So why did I do that? Why do we keep doing that? Well I’m no psychologist but in my experience this is why I believe we let our hearts eat lies.
Some reasons and causes of a broken heart
I’ve outlined a few reasons we suffer a broken heart though I’m sure there are a million more reasons I may have missed. But honestly, in my opinion, these are the heavy hitters. The major causes of a broken heart.
Low Self Confidence and Low Self Esteem
No matter how much inner work you do, or should I say ‘we’ do, sometimes it’s never enough. Just when you think your self confidence and self esteem are kicking it into high gear and you feel all good about yourself, something happens and we forget everything we learned.
Not only that, when we’re feeling alone, but all inhibitions also go right out the door. Doesn’t matter how high your self confidence is or how much you’ve worked on your low self esteem. Loneliness manages to trump all that somehow.
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How to Love Yourself More
Here are 5 more reasons why we may suffer from a broken heart
1 I am so lonely dammit
Topping the list is the #1 reason why eat lies. We’re lonely and there’s no shame in admitting it. I’ve been in Guatemala for 2 years now and the dating scene for women my age is almost nonexistent so when I do meet someone new that I’m attracted to it’s all in for me. It fills that lonely gap.
I am so lonely some days that I’d settle for anything just to get some attention. Any attention. Loneliness sucks, heartbreak sucks, amirite?
Whether or not he’s good or bad for me doesn’t matter at the time. My heart will eat this lie for temporary happiness (one day I’ll be able to cure myself of this).
2 Trauma, triggers and torment.
We’re scarred by them still to this day but the crazy thing is we let ourselves get wrapped up in them even though we know we are way more deserving. But you see the thing is, we’re used to it. We know what to expect and how to handle it. Whether we like it or not doesn’t matter. What matters is that we’re pros at dealing with them. Why change that?
Learning to deal with something other than what we’re used to is scary. We don’t like scary, we like comfort. Amirite?
3 I have low self worth.
Sound familiar? Self worth is frustrating. We hold our heads up high knowing that we are worthy. We are awesome. We are enough. Dammit we are….but then our heart gets fed a lie and we eat it up because, that gap, remember? That darn gap is bigger than our self worth at times. Yup, it’s frustrating for sure. The real truth is that we forget our worthiness for the sake of attention.
The struggle is real. I am worthy, I need affection. Heal my heartbreak! Good grief!
4 It’s not that bad.
Boom there it is. How many times have you said that? Oh I’ve been through worse, this one’s ok. He’ll/she’ll do. At least he/she isn’t as bad as my ex!
Oh I’ve said this more times than I wanna admit. That gap! I mean let’s face it, our ex’es were the spawns of Satan. This new person isn’t that bad. I can handle whatever they throw at me. I can handle their brokenness and their baggage. I need attention dammit.
5 Make me feel good please!
I just want to feel good and I want someone to do that for me. I mean, I can make myself feel good too. Honest I can (and I don’t mean just sexually here). I love who I am and I think I’m a pretty decent person. I have lots of friends who make me feel good and happy.
We know it’s not the same. That’s not what we’re after. The real truth is that we want affection and attention and someone to hold hands with and rub our backs and all that good stuff that makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside. At this stage of our loneliness, we’ll take whatever we can get.
Yup, a pathetic lot we are.
So now that we know the reasons why we let our hearts eat lies, what do we do about it? Keep feasting? Well, we could but why would we want to? Remember the burning question was “where’s the satisfaction in that”?. It’s all temporary happiness.
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Only you can prevent a broken heart
You have to decide that you worthy of real love and deserve more.
Are we not deserving of more? Are we not worth more than a bunch of lies? Isn’t it permanent happiness we are after?
Of course! But all that comes with a little bit of internal work. We have to believe we are worthy. We have to know we deserve more. We have to set boundary lines (ugh) and stick to them! We have to love ourselves so much that others know how to love us.
But that gap. Time to fill it up with self love. Love yourself so much that that gap closes uptight and never reopens again.
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Hey Iva, I love you!
Peace and Love
Iva
