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How To Change Your Life in 21 Days or Less

Last Updated on 12 months by Iva Ursano

Is life starting to get to you and you sincerely wish you knew how to change your life? I got your back!

Does any of this sound familiar?

  • You are so tired of the poopy life you’ve been living and you are so ready to change your life, amirite?
  • Things have been stagnating, nothing ever changes, life is just getting ridiculously boring.
  • You’re checking out your friends, co-workers, and neighbours and suddenly you feel like you’re stuck in a time warp.
  • It’ Yawn!!

Let’s get something straight here, changing your life, while it may not be so hard, is still kinda scary. People love comfort zones. Changing anything means jumping out of the zone. We don’t wanna!


But yet every day you still ask yourself the same question “how can I change my life”??

I’m gonna help ya with that right now. Not to toot my own here or anything but I gotta tell you, I’m the queen of changing your life. True story. In case you missed some of my other blogs here is a small example of how I changed my life in the last few years.

  • left my abusive relationship of 8 years with nothing to my name but my pride (kinda scary!!)
  • traded in a 25+ year career as a hairstylist to be a freelance writer (that was scary!!)
  • left my home of 52 years in Canada and bought a one-way ticket to Guatemala and went off alone (also scary)
  • and now leaving Guatemala after 4 years to move to Mexico, also alone (also scary!)

So you can see, I’m no stranger to changing your life. It doesn’t mean I’m all brave and bad**s and not afraid of change. Of course, I’m afraid. But you know what’s even scarier? Staying the same, living and doing the same thing every damn day and calling it life. That ain’t no life my friend. That’s just existing.

We are here for more than just mere existence. Would you agree?

How to change your life for the better

I used to get so often, “Iva how did you change your life so drastically”??? Well, it wasn’t easy but I did it. And because people ask me so much I decided to write a book on it to help them too.

We all want a happy life but we don’t all know how to change our life for the better. We need guidance. We need tools. Some of us even need hand-holding and that’s totally ok!

So I ran a 21-day life changing challenge over on my Facebook page early in 2020 and then wrote a workbook for it. You can grab a copy of that below, and then I created a course for the whole darn thing and you can check that out here!!.

(pssst the workbook comes free with the course!)

1 Day Life Changing Workbook

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How to change your life in 7 easy steps

Before we begin I have to tell you something right now. I’m sure you’ve heard that it takes 21 days to form a habit. It’s actually kinda true. But you have to stick with it faithfully for 21 days or you’re wasting your time.

Fear not, if you stopped after 15 days or even 20 days, that’s ok. Just pick a date and start again.

Keep at it until you’ve passed the 21-day mark. Trust me on this one. If you sincerely are ready for a life change then you have to put in the work. Nothing good comes that easily.

1. Change your life by changing your mind

That’s the first and biggest step to changing your life. You have got to change your mind. You have got to start thinking different thoughts, have new dreams, create new goals, you get the idea.

Our minds are such powerful tools. Did you know that you created the life you are living by the thoughts you think? Yup. It’s true. So if you keep thinking negative thoughts guess what kind of life you are gonna have? Mm hmm.

Decide today that you are going to start thinking more optimistic and positive thoughts. Make that decision and start doing that asap and within the first 24 hours, I’m not even kidding, watch how things in your life start changing. It’ll blow your mind.

Every day for 21 days I want you to think nothing but positive thoughts. If a negative thought creeps in, shut it out immediately, and switch back to positive!

2. Pick one thing to do differently

Yes. Just one thing today. Whether it be a new hairstyle or a new look. A new coffee shop to try out or maybe even a new route to work. Whatever it is, pick one thing that you really really want to change and take a step to make that change. Maybe it even could be going out to a restaurant or a movie alone. Anything!

You might even decide to stand up to the bully at the water cooler or your mother in law. You know, find your voice, stop being a mouse or a doormat and start being a lion (ok but easy, don’t eat people!!)

Decide today you are going to do one thing differently today. Something you have always wanted to do but have always been to afraid to do. Do it. Today. Like now. (I especially love the find your voice thingy)

Do this every day for 21 days.

3. Take a dream off the back burner

Dig that old dream out, dust off the cobwebs and spiders, and put it on the table in front of you. Did you want to write a book? Maybe you wanted to start painting or singing or playing the piano. What was that dream? You tucked it away for so long you almost forgot about it. Get it. Look at it. And start taking steps to bring this dream to life.

I mean it.

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Let me share a story with you. 

For years and years, I dreamed of spending my winters somewhere warm. I didn’t even care where it was. All I knew was that I was sooooo tired of winter in Canada. I hated it with every ounce of me. The last winter I lived there the temperatures dropped to -50C. I’m not even joking. That was enough for me.

I finally took that *I wanna live somewhere warm* dream off the back burner, put it smack dab in front of my face and said to myself:

“ok girl, here it is, let’s do it”

And I did. Was it easy? Hell no. But I did it!!! If I can do it, anyone can (too cliche?).

Don’t ever think your dreams are unattainable or unrealistic or whatever. In the words of the great Walt Disney ( I think it was him)

“If you can dream it, you can do it”

For real. Believe in yourself for God’s sake. Don’t worry about what others think. Just do what you want to do. Bring your dreams to life.

4. What makes you tick?

What makes your heart sing? What kind of things did you use to really love doing but for some reason stopped doing them? Find out what those things are and start doing them again, even just one. If you really want to change your life you have to start changing your boring mundane routine that isn’t serving you anymore.

I want you to take a step back and think about who you really are and what makes you tick. Too many of us have adopted habits from our spouses, our coworkers, our family, and our friends. But that’s not who YOU are. That’s who they are. Who the eff are you?? Once you figure this out you will almost instantly start changing your life to one that suits you, not everyone else.

Think about the things you love to do for 21 days. And actually do them!!

5. Stop caring what other people think

Like right now. Immediately. I used to worry a lot about what other people thought of me. Now? Meh, not so much. I live my life on my terms and do things that make me happy, not others.

I need you to understand one very important thing right now. People pleasing doesn’t please you, it pleases them. BUT, here’s the kicker, YOU have to be happy with your life and with the things you do. It doesn’t matter what other people think. Whose life are you living? Theirs or yours? You think they care that much about you?

They do but they don’t. Sorry, not sorry.

You have to do you be you and dance to the beat of your own drum. It doesn’t matter if people will dance with you or not. You dance. The minute you stop caring what people think about how you are changing your life and what you are doing, the happier you will be and the more life changes you will make.

Oh the freedom!

6. Map it out

A mind map that is. Take a minute to read this article I wrote a while back about Vision Boards and Mind Maps.

Why You Need To Forget The Vision Board and Do This Instead

And this article from my other site on how to mind map and why it’s so effective

Mind Mapping-Why Everyone Needs to Be Doing This

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not pooping on people who use a vision board but have you even tried mind mapping? Honestly, it will blow your mind.

When I decided to change my life I knew the vision board wasn’t for me so a friend of mine introduced me to mind mapping and my whole world changed. And of course, my life changed too.

After you created your mind map look at it every day a million times a day if you have to, faithfully for 21 days. Read it out loud!!!

When we write out our goals and dreams and put them somewhere we will see them every single day, lemme tell ya, that stuff works!!!! Click the link above and find out more about mind mapping. You’re welcome!

7. Pull up your big girl/boy panties

How long have you been talking about wanting to change your life and trying to figure out how to change your life?? Too long is my guess. Once you’ve made the decision to do it (we did that in step 1) I want you to take a big deep breath, pull up your big girl/boy panties, and get to work. Like now.

It’s one thing to make a decision and tell yourself you’re gonna start changing your life but it’s another thing to actually take action. I need you to take action.

Stop putting it off. Nothing changes if nothing changes. <<<< Read that again!!!

Pick a day and say out loud ” today is the day I’m going to do it!” and then friggin do it!!!! If not now, when?

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Are you ready for a life change?

I mean, are you really really ready??? Make the decision. Take the necessary steps. Thank me later.

I want you to remember one crucial thing. This is the only life you have. You don’t get another shot at life. When it’s done, it’s done. Do you want to move into your 70’s 80’s or 90’s and think “oh darn I should have done _______ when I had a chance”?

Hell no you don’t want to do that. Live with no regret. Live out loud. Do what makes your heart sing. Embrace change. Be bold, brave and daring and for the love of God, do what makes YOU happy! You are the most important person on the planet. Not your spouse or your kids. You!!

Another important thing to remember is this: ok wait two important things.

  1. You can’t fix your problems with the same mindset that created them
  2. In order to move forward in life, you have to let go of the past.

If you really want to change your life, and I know you do, change your thoughts that created the present (that you aren’t happy with anymore) and let go of the past including all hurt, pain and grudges.

Here are a few more articles you might like

How To Be a Better Person: 11 Things You Can Do Right Now

How To Find Your Life Purpose in 5 Simple Steps

3 Ways To Stop Procrastinating and Get Stuff Done!

7 Limiting Beliefs You Need To Dump Right Now

I hope you got something out of this article. Follow these simple steps above and I almost guarantee you, you will change your life in 21 days or less.

When you start making little life habit changes and do them consistently, you have officially formed a good habit and things change. For the better. Trust me on that!

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