Let’s face it, you know you want to be a good person. Sometimes I think I really am a good person and then some devilish thing inside me pops up and I shudder. There’s definitely some room for self improvement on my end that’s for sure. Oy! But this isn’t about me. Becoming a better person takes time and work but we’ll get you there.
And I’m here to help you with that.
Many years ago, I wasn’t a very nice person at all. It’s suffice to say I was a b***ch. Mm hmm. I don’t even know how people tolerated me. You can read more about my evil ways and life here in this post.
I can look back on those days and pride myself on how much I’ve grown. Changing your life is hard af but it’s not impossible. Anyone can be a good person, if you want to be.
Becoming a better person
After my world came crashing down on me some years ago, I decided it was time to change my life. I didn’t want to be that miserable ugly girl anymore. I knew that becoming a better person was going to be hard and I was probably going to lose some people along the way but none of that mattered.
All that was important to me at the time was becoming a better person. I hated who I was. It was horrible. I was horrible. And sad. All the time. Broken, lonely and desperate inside. I was full of anger and hate.
I knew I wanted to be a good person I just didn’t know how really so I started taking small steps, one after another, and then suddenly I was really loving who I was becoming. Not only did I change but the people around me and my attitude towards life and people changed too. I finally found some inner peace and joy.
It was so liberating.
My self improvement journey
The journey, when you decide to take it, is scary, frustrating and hard. You are constantly battling your inner demons. Part of you wants to snap and spew evil things out your mouth. The other part of you is saying ‘no no Iva that’s not how a good person behaves’. When you’re talking to your ‘old friends’ that old ugly part of you comes out and then you realize, you can’t really hang with them anymore.
Those aren’t your peeps. They used to be. You all hung out together and were evil and ugly together. But you are on the path to self improvement now and not everyone is on your path. You will need to drop them off on the side of your path and that’s ok. This was really hard for me but I had to do it.
There’s a quote that goes something like this:
Well that sort of holds true for your circle. If you want to change your life, you have to let go of the old things and old ways in your life that no longer serve you, including people. Maybe they will catch up, maybe they won’t. Worry about yourself and becoming a better person. Don’t worry about them.
How to become a better person
Well, as I mentioned earlier, it’s hard, but not impossible. I truly believe that everyone can change as long as they want to bad enough. I wanted change, desperately, and did what I had to do. If you truly want to change your life, you will do what is necessary but let me warn you now, your life will change so drastically and you will be so ridiculously happy, finally. It’s kinda crazy!
So let’s break down 11 tips on becoming a better person
Some of these may seem almost like no brainers and you may even say out loud “oh come on Iva seriously?”. Ya, I’m serious. Trust me on all of this.
Decide to become a good person
No brainer #1. But let me explain something. You really have to be sick of all your old shitty ways. You really truly have to decide that you want to be a good person. You need to feel that deep in your bones and heart.
I felt it. It shook me to the core. I hated who I had become. And it’s not that I wanted more friends or more recognition. It’s just that I felt my soul was ugly and dying and I hated that part of me. I made the decision to become a better person. It didn’t happen overnight and some days I still battle evil thoughts but I’m a long way from where I was 10 years ago, that’s for sure.
Step out of your comfort zone
Another tough one. I talk an awful lot about comfort zones and how much I despise them. Nothing good comes from there. It’s a safe, sad and stagnant place to be. Nothing changes if nothing changes and remember, you want to change your life.
You have got to step out of your comfort zone and start doing things you don’t normally do. A small example, next time you are in the line up at the drive through, pay for the person’s coffee who is behind you in line. It’s little things like this that all add up to helping you become a good person.
Find the good
Remember you used to be a whiny cranky person? And you don’t want to be that person anymore, right? Instead of complaining and talking shit about things or people, start looking for the good.
Everything and everyone has some good in them. Find it! Talk about it. Praise them for it. Start pointing out good things instead of bitching about all the negative things. Oh, and this is where you may lose people. The ones you used to hang out with and bitch with all the time. They aren’t going to recognize this new way of thinking you have.
They may laugh at you. Let them. Them may leave you. Let them. Remember, hold true to your vision of becoming a better person. It’s your vision, not theirs.
Be the good person
Start acting like and doing things that good people normally do. Simple things like I mentioned above (buying coffee) and some of these things too:
- hold the door open for someone
- help someone with their groceries
- smile at a stranger
- compliment a stranger
- give money to a homeless person
These are just a few things you can do to get you started on your path of becoming a better person. Now some of these may be hard to do at first because you’ve never done them before but it gets easier and the feelings you experience when you do nice things? Wow! They will blow your mind!
How about some gratitude?
Gratitude for everything, all.the.damn.time. Remember all those things you used to bitch about? How about being grateful for them, and maybe even the lesson they taught you. Start saying thank you to everything in your life. Start showing gratitude for your life, the people in it and to yourself.
Especially to yourself for deciding to take this self improvement journey and start becoming a better person. Say thank you to yourself each and every day. Gratitude is a game and life changer. You know the expression, ‘when you start being thankful for the things in your life, you will soon have more things in your life to be thankful for’.
It’s really true.
It also goes back to that ‘find the good’ tip. Sure there is bad in a lot of things but there is also good. When you see the good, you can be grateful for it. Try it. It works.
Forgiveness works too!
You were afraid I was gonna drop this f word weren’t you? I can’t stress enough the importance of forgiveness. Check out these two articles I wrote on forgiveness to give you a different perspective on it:
Let me put it to you this way. When we hold onto anger, hurt and a grudge to others, we are filled with hate and toxicity. The only way to release all that negativity is to release them, free them if you will, from your mind, soul and heart. You have got to forgive them and let them go. So how does this make you a good person?
Well you will certainly stop bitching about them to everyone you talk to. You’ll even get to a point where you don’t even think about them anymore. When we’re mad and full of hate, that energy shows up no matter where you are or who you are with. Energy doesn’t lie and people feel that. When you let go of the anger, your energy changes, you will be a heck of a lot happier and people will feel that too!
Take time to do things you love
It’s time to start making time for yourself. It’s time to put your evil and angry ways to the side and go and do the things that make your heart sing. Do the things that bring you joy. What do you love to do? What makes you ridiculously happy every time you do it?
Go do more of that.
For me, it was volunteering at the homeless shelter. When I was there, my heart was filled with such intense joy and love. It was a feeling I had never known before. I started out doing it twice a month and after a year I was there every day. I started helping people, more people and I suddenly realized, without even knowing or realizing it, I was simply becoming a better person. I was happier. I had a spring in my step.
It was awesome.
Tell the truth!
Maybe this is no brainer #2 but seriously, stop lying and making up stories. Just tell people the truth. Don’t make yourself out to be someone you aren’t. Be real. Speak your truth and use your voice, for the good of course.
People can see right through liars and story tellers. They will have a tendency of shying away from being with people like that, liars. And besides, why you wanna lie anyway? It’s ugly and toxic.
Just be honest with people and yourself. Remember, you’re trying to become a better person. Good people don’t make it a habit to lie. They have no problem with the truth.
Being polite is mandatory
Really. Don’t be a jerk. Use your manners. If you were never taught manners growing up, go spend more time with people who have manners, are polite and treat people with respect.
Being a good person is also about how you treat others. And remember, everyone deserves respect and to be treated with kindness and love. So if you have something rude or ignorant to say to someone, bite your tongue now. It’s probably uncalled for and will only make you look like a jerk. You don’t want to be a jerk anymore.
You want to be a good person. I mean, that’s why you’re still here reading this, right?
Sharing is caring
It really truly is. I’m a big share bear. I love sharing everything, even my chocolate. I used to never share anything. I was greedy and selfish. Yuck.
Share your lunch, share your time, share whatever it is you have that someone else doesn’t have. Did you know that when you do that, share something with a stranger (or anyone really) you might be the only person that day who did something really nice for the other person.
Now if that doesn’t make your heart sing then I don’t know what will. Just share for God sake. Sharing really is caring. And in your quest to becoming a better person, well what better way to do that then with sharing your stuff!?
And the final tip on becoming a better person………..drumroll please…
I kinda mentioned it in the tip above but I’ll go over it in more detail here. Treat people with kindness and respect. Another thing I can’t stress enough about how important it is. How do you want people to treat you? Don’t we all want to be treated with kindness? Of course we do. But why should anyone be kind to you if you’re being a total jerk?
It doesn’t work that way. I can’t tell you how many times I hear someone complaining that so and so did or said this to them. Well, truth be told John, you were being a jerk. How did you expect them to treat you??
Treat people with respect. Don’t be an a**hole. We all have stories and struggles. Who are you to judge and point fingers. Stop doing that. The world doesn’t need any more haters. The world needs more love and kindness. Start spreading more love and less hate.
Do you really want to be a good person?
I mean really?
Becoming a better person is so beautiful
It really is. And don’t you want to have that inner beauty? The inner beauty that makes your soul shine and your love shoot out of your face like sunbeams?
Of course you do. I know you want to get rid of that toxic black cloud that’s been hanging around you for forever. Ditch it. Now. Drop the evil ugly mask. That’s not who you are and not who you want to be anymore.
Try this exercise at home
Before I go I want to leave you with this: Now this may not be for you but I want you to at least try this little exercise at home. Get a journal and start journalling your self improvement journey. You can do that either by writing out things you are grateful for or writing forgiveness letters to people you need to release.
Write whatever is buried in your heart but get it out. Write happy things, write sad things. The more you write, the better you will feel. Trust me on that too. I write in my journal every day and it’s such a peaceful thing to do.
If you don’t already have a journal, check out some (just click the image below-this is an affiliate link too) on Amazon. They have amazing journals and notebooks there!