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3 Ways to Stop Negative Thinking and Live A Happy Life

Last Updated on 2 years by Iva Ursano

Ah negative thinking or as some call it, stinking thinking. That’s what it is anyway. Smelly, dirty, foul thoughts that do us no good whatsoever. Have you ever had a positive experience from a negative thought?  I think not. I’m no stranger to negative thoughts.

We all have them. Even the personal development gurus and if they claim they don’t they’re lying.

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Negative Thinking Sucks

For many of us, I believe that we get stuck in a vortex of our negative thinking. The thought comes, we entertain it, we sit with it for a long time and play out all the worst case scenarios, we talk about it and often even go to bed with it. We’ve just ruined our entire day on a negative thought.

We literally beat it death and then took it to bed with us.

Yuck. Nightmares anyone? How do you feel when you wake up after a day like that? I’m betting not very good at all. Perhaps an emotional wreck and maybe even crying? Yuck, again. What a terrible way to start the day.

But the bigger question and issue here is this:

How often do we let this happen? Our negative thinking completely consuming our thoughts and days. I know some people are still wrapped up in negative events that happened days, weeks, months, even years ago. What for?

What on earth are you holding on to this for?

So how do we fix this?

You’ve all read eBooks, stories, inspirational poster quotes and maybe even listened to some inspirational podcasts or watched some YouTube vids (Les Brown is always my favourite). We do our best to get rid of this negative thinking but nothing really works.

But that guru said just do this and your negative thoughts will be gone but they’re still here. Ya I so get it. I used to be there too. Until one day I finally got it. I had finally figured out the secret to totally wiping out negative thinking. And trust me, it didn’t come easy, but it came.

Here are my 3 ways that work for me to get rid of these demon thoughts.

1 Find the trigger

Negative thinking doesn’t come out of nowhere. I mean it does but it kinda doesn’t. Oftentimes, there are things from our past that we haven’t quite healed yet. Obviously. That’s why the thought of it keeps recurring. It takes a lot of hard work to deal with issues from yesterday.

Many of us don’t want to face those demons so we tuck the memory deep down in our minds and hearts and every now and then, you got it, it shows up as negative thinking.

So when do we finally deal with and be done with it? Why do we keep dredging up this thing from the past and continue to torment ourselves and ruin our day? Why?

Because dealing is hard. Really hard. It brings up memories, trauma and forces us into forgiveness which still to this day, many of us don’t want to do. Well I’m here to tell you it’s time. It’s time to deal, heal and forgive. Go through the motions. You’ll only have to do it a few times.

Eventually it just becomes a fleeting thought that can simply be wiped away.

2 Shut it down

I don’t mean completely shut down your brain and carry on with your day. We all know how effective that is (not).I mean it’s time to show this negative thinking who the boss is here and shut it down before it takes hold of your whole day.

I know, easier said than done but hear me out. When a negative thought creeps in, you immediately start entertaining it. It’s important to catch yourself and this thought before it goes too far. You are already well aware that it’s a foul and ugly thought. You already know it’s going to make you feel sad, mad, angry, hurt, etc.

That’s not how you want to spend the rest of your day, amirite?

So as soon as you realize what’s going on in your head, yell at it (that’s kinda what I do) and say ” Oh NO you don’t. You are not going to ruin my day. I want to feel happy and cheery today. You are not going to take over and put me in a state of misery and sadness. Not today Satan, not today”.

Now that may sound all silly and stuff but just try it. But it’s important to shout at that negative thought and remind it who’s in charge here. You are the boss of your mind and you are in control of your day. Not this negative thinking.

You need to let it know that it has no place in your day.

This gets easier with practice.

3 Find the positive thought

To every bad there is good. Even with people. Not everyone is bad all the time. There is good in everything, everyone and every thought. It’s up to you to find it. I’ll use my latest incident to put it into perspective for you.

I was volunteering at a spay and neuter clinic one day and I had to clean up some poop in a crate. The dog was still in the crate and she was just scared. So I grabbed rubber gloves, spray cleaner and some paper towels so she wouldn’t have to sit in her stinky crate while waiting to see the vet, all the while scared out of her mind.

So I stuck my hand in her crate and she bit me. Good and hard. I honestly was more shocked than anything but then the pain and swelling kicked in and I realized how bad this bite was. The assistant cleaned me up, disinfected me and I was good to carry on my day volunteering.

Now as horrible as that sounds, and it is, I explained to my friends later that I was truly grateful it wasn’t a bigger dog. I wouldn’t be typing this out today if it was. I potentially would have lost my way of making a living and reaching out to people, which is through my writing.

So regardless of the fact my hand hurts like crazy, I’m grateful it’s still attached.

Find the positive. It might be hard to do but it’s not impossible. Always do the “well this could have been much worse and I’m grateful it’s not”. Turn your negative thinking around into positive thinking and watch what happens.

You’ll be amazed.

Next time this happens

So the next time a negative thought pops up come back to these tips.

  • First, finally deal with your issue.
  • Second, take control of your mind and
  • Third, turn it into a positive thought.

If you are seriously struggling with getting over the past and all the hurt, pain and anger it is causing you, you may want tocheck out my self help eStore. It’s loaded with ebooks, courses, programs, one on one coaching and workbooks to help you live your best life ever.

Peace and Love

ox iva xo

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  1. I’ve recently did this on my own. I behaved angrily and wandered ” where did that come from”? And realized it was grom thr past

    1. Right? How often do we all do this? It’s good to stop and think and retrain our thoughts. Thank you xo

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