Last Updated on 2 years by Iva Ursano
You know…that sad old *whoa is me* song you’ve been singing for awhile now. That person, place, thing, job, event, issue that did you wrong song. Ya, that song. You know how you love to sit and sing that same sad song for days on end? Weeks. Months. Maybe even years?
I have a newsflash for you. No one cares anymore, not to mention it’s making you miserable. Today I want to talk about how to turn your life around with one simple trick and it involves all your whining and singing the “whoa is me” song.
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I want to turn my life around
Each and every one of us have had terrible things done to us. We all know pain, hurt, betrayal, defeat. Yup, we do. Now before we get started this isn’t a pissing contest. Pain is pain. We all feel and process pain differently.
The problem with that is some of us hang on to pain (grudges if you will) a little longer than the rest of us. And then here’s the kicker…we complain that our life is horrible and “why do bad things keep happening to me”??? I feel ya.
I used to whine and complain about my horrible life all.the.damn.time. True story.
I used to be that person. I sang the old *Whoa is Me Blues* all the time. Oh how pathetic I must have sounded. Day in and day out. I was hopeless, it was brutal.
He did this, they did that, she said this to me, omg how mean they all were to me and can you believe he did THAT to me? Oh ya, it was sad and pathetic. How I even still have any friends is anyone’s guess. Didn’t they get sick of listening to me?
Of course they did. But…they were my friends and just said “Oh girl, how terrible” and “What a jerk!!” and “You don’t deserve that at all!”.
I know, right??
But…I wish one of them would have said, “Omg Iva will you just shut the hell up about it already?” Iva…just….shut…up!!
And one day I snapped out of it and decided I was tired of it all and really wanted to turn my life around so I could be happy. I didn’t even know what a happy life was.
We all want to talk about our pain
You want to talk about the horrible thing that happened to you. Why not? Every one needs to hear about how bad it was and how much of a jerk “John” was/is. Talking about it gets it off our chest, makes us feel powerful (somehow, though I haven’t quite figured out that power yet) and puts us in that wonderful bracket of *victims*.
We want everyone to say “omg poor you!!”. We do!! We want all the sympathy in the world. We want people to know we were seriously hard done by and that guy, John, well what a jerk he is!!!
We just want to keep talking about it dammit. We LIKE this sad old song. Dammit. We loooooooove to complain about crappy things!!!
You might really like this recent video I uploaded to my YouTube channel about how to put the pain away and move on.
I totally understand how you want to talk about your pain all the time. So many of us do. It validates us. It lets people know why we are the way we are. Our pain is our trophy of life. This is what I survived, hear my story, look at my trophy.
- But….how is rehashing this old wound serving any purpose?
- But…what pleasure, happiness or joy do you get from talking about this over and over?
- But…what power, if any, are you getting from bringing this up all the time?
- But…just why? And aren’t you done listening to yourself? I mean, can you hear yourself?
It’s old. The story is old. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you…it’s old and no one cares anymore.
When we need professional help
Now I just want to stop and mention right here I’m not totally insensitive about your pain. Trust me, I’m not. I get that really sh*tty things happen to good people and some of us have to go through tragedies that weaken even the strongest person.
If you are dealing with something terribly tragic or very hard to process and you need to speak to a professional, please please do that!!! I am not a professional but I’ve partnered up with the amazing people over at online-therapy.com.
Click the link here to find out more or the image below. No one should have to deal with anything alone or have no one to talk to about their problems. Please get help if you need to. You’re worth it!!
And then one day it happened…I turned my life around
No one told me to shut up. As my friends, they let me go on and on about it. And then one day, after listening to myself tell that horrible story again, I was thinking to myself *girl, really, what’s the point? Are you done yet?*
Can we start telling a different story? How about we start telling the story about how we triumphed over evil and were victorious and our life is SO much happier and better now?
How about we start telling the “if I can do this so can you” story and maybe start helping others.
How about we start sharing stories of love after hurt, freedom after chains, success after struggle, victory after defeat?
Why don’t we start telling happier stories and leave all those sad miserable hurtful disgusting *hedidmeSOwrong* stories behind us?
And that’s what I did. I turned my life around and started telling happier stories. I started smiling more and appreciating life more and how far I had come.
I stopped whining and complaining about how horrible my life was and how mean people were to me and started talking victory and triumph. I started speaking about hope and good things to come.
You should really check out my self help book mini series. After I turned my life around and became happier I started sharing all my tips, tricks and tools so others could be happy too!!
Click the link here to check out the books or the image below and grab the self help eBook that’s right for you.
How to turn your life around by doing this one thing
I changed my story. I changed the story from victim and *poor me* to victory and *you can do this too*. I actually dropped the story altogether. One day I just got so sick of the story. I stopped telling the sad stories and my whole life changed.
Funny how that happens.
You need to stop going on and on about all the things that are wrong in your life, all the bad things people did to you, and start talking about happy, positive and good things.
That’s the secret trick right there.
START TALKING ABOUT HAPPY THINGS
When I say no one wants to hear your sad stories anymore, I’m not being mean, I’m being serious. There is already so much doom and gloom in the world today. It’s up to us to speak of love and hope. Happiness and miracles. It’s time to let go of the things that suffocate your soul and start feeding your soul with loving happy thoughts.
It’s not easy but it’s not impossible either. Please, just start.
My whole life changed. I was happier, lighter and freer. So much freer. I didn’t have this dead weight on my shoulders anymore. There was nothing dragging me down. I was singing happy songs all the time and it was beautiful. Life suddenly became beautiful. And so did I.
If you really want to turn your life around, sing a new song. You’re welcome!
Peace and Love