Last Updated on 1 year by Iva Ursano
I’m no stranger to substance abuse. I’ve had addictions to prescription pills (don’t judge) and probably smoking too much weed in my 20s and doing enough blows to know that it’s not my thing anymore. I’m currently still addicted to nicotine and hope to one day kick that to the curb. Nope, no stranger at all. One thing I never became addicted to was alcohol but have had my fair share of alcoholics in my life. All my life actually. I’m grateful to the alcoholics in my life as I have learned many life lessons from them but in this blog, I’ll narrow that down to just 5 life lessons.
For some reason or another, I seem to attract substance abusers. Oh, wait..I know why that is. Who am I kidding? Funny thing is, I think I have only ever had one relationship where he wasn’t addicted to anything, besides me, and I found it to be the most boring relationship I’ve ever had. Strange creatures, we are, amirite?
The 5 Life Lessons from the alcoholics…
You know, when we stay open-minded, we constantly grow, expand and learn. I try to take the life lesson from each and every experience in my life that I have had and then try to apply it (often I fail miserably at this). Following are the 5 life lessons I’ve learned from all the alcoholics in my life. Whether or not I do anything about them is a different story.
Lesson #1 You’re not a fixer.
Did I just hear someone yell BOOM? Why, oh why, do we feel the need to try to fix everyone’s brokenness? Why do we think WE can be the life changer? The healer? The fixer? “Oh, I got this one. They’re gonna be ok when I”m done with them”.
No, they’re not and you’re not the fixer. Listen carefully….“you cannot fix anyone’s addiction problems”. Capiche? Iva, get that through your thick skull and stop trying already. ~sheesh~ An addict will only be fixed/healed when they decide it’s time to do it, not you, and not on your terms. Give it up. One day I may actually get this life lesson. I’m getting better at it though.
Lesson #2 Ignoring is just plain stupid.
If I pretend it doesn’t bother me, or just ignore it, I’ll be able to handle it better. Riiiiiiight. Sure you will. Get real. The problem is there and you will never be able to ignore it. It’s always there. It’s like the elephant in the room. A dark looming shadow of toxicity. You can’t ignore it. Ever.
I’ve learned to face it and deal with it head-on, something I was never able to do before. I feel I am strong enough now to do just that. I’m not ignoring it anymore. I have a voice and I am no longer afraid to use it. Learn this life lesson quickly.
Lesson #3 You deserve more.
…Or better, or maybe someone more suited to you? Why do you keep settling for people with substance abuse problems? Do you not realize you are absolutely worthy of a healthy, loving, and addictions-free kind of love and relationship? Of course, you are but yet you still settle….
I am learning how to find my worth and draw solid boundary lines. The struggle is real. I am a Libra and I love love and I love relationships, no matter what. I am learning to love myself more first and also learning how to say no. I am also learning how to take all the life lessons I’ve learned from all the toxic people in my life, including the alcoholics and actually apply them.
Lesson #4 Everyone deserves love.
Yup, even broken addicts do. Especially them. They are lost, lonely, and broken, so broken. They need love more than you can imagine. It doesn’t matter that they can’t return it properly. Just love them. Show them that there are good people in the world who don’t judge them.
What you feel in your heart is not a lie. If it is love you feel, share it and give it freely and unconditionally. We all deserve love. I find that when we love freely, it shows the other person that they can be loved.
Lesson #5 Back to life school
I’ve also learned that I still have so much to learn about myself, my self-worth, and setting healthy boundaries in my life. I’ve learned that I need to focus more on my life and my purpose in life, stay true to who I am and what I stand for, and have faith that the right people will be drawn to me.
I’ve learned that in this life, you never stop learning and no matter how many times the lesson is taught, it sometimes takes a few tests before we get it right.
I’ve learned that I’m a sucker for a good-looking guy….(oh!!)
Are struggling with low self-esteem/confidence/worth/respect? Do you need help finding inner peace and happiness? Check out my new ebook From Hell to Happiness to see how I can help!
Peace and Love
(this post contains affiliate links so if you make a purchase I make a small commission but the best part of that is the more I make, the more hungry bellies I can feed here in Guatemala-win win!!)