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Making Friends as An Adult Is Harder Than You Think.

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You know, making friends was a lot easier when you were in elementary school. We all just played together and had fun and the worst crime was not sharing your chocolate bar.

As an adult, making friends isn’t so easy anymore. It’s almost a game of Russian Roulette. Ok, maybe not that bad but you get the idea. It’s hard and you just never know if you’re gonna hit the jackpot or lose your shirt, or in some cases, your heart and trust in people. I’m a very trusting person, which ironically is very surprising as I’ve been crapped on by the best of the worst and I still trust people. I mean, if you’ve crapped on me your days are over, but I’ll keep trusting despite the horrible thing you did to me.

Nope, it takes a bigger jerk than you to totally break my trust in humanity. I’m not sure that would ever happen anyway. I just trust.

Wanna be friends?

So moving down here in Guatemala almost one year ago had me “making” new friends, or at the very least, meeting people who may have potential to be a friend. As a friend I don’t ask for much. Honestly and really, just don’t be a jerk. That’s pretty much it. But let me tell ya, as an adult in a new city in a new country, it’s hard to make friends. Well, it is for me, if you’re too trusting and just want everyone to be your friend.

I realized everyone can’t be my friend, nor do I want everyone to be my friend. But I also realized and learned a lot about myself in my new quest in a foreign country trying to get along with those around me. I learned that there are many things I really don’t tolerate after all and if you happen to do or have any of those traits, then I really don’t want you as a friend (that’s the jerk part). You know, there used to be a time when I would desperately want you as a friend just because I always felt alone and needed friends.

I’m not there anymore.

You are definitely not friend material!

When I moved down here, I had no idea what I was doing or where I was going and I frantically tried to find my way around here and make “friends”. After a few months, I discovered that finding your “vibe tribe” really wasn’t that easy. I mean, this isn’t kindergarten anymore right? We don’t all get along in the sandbox. I had to remind myself many times that “Sally” wasn’t right for me and that “Henry” was going to be a person to stay away from. 10 years ago they all would have been my “friends”. I’m not that person anymore and I’m actually pretty selective when it comes to the company I keep. I even surprise myself sometimes.

I don’t put up with much these days and I’d rather have one or two really close and good friends then 50 fake friends.

Blending in is for teenagers.

Can you remember being back in high school and wanting to hang with the cool kids and you did everything you could to be a cool kid? Remember those days where you wanted to fit in so bad.? You dressed like them, you talked like them, you acted like them. Good ole high school. Funny though I still see some adults doing that. I was one of those adults years ago. Wanting to be friends with anyone so bad I did what I had to do to blend in. Fit in. Have friends. Be liked.

We lose ourselves. Actually, some of us spend so much time trying to blend in and fit in that we get to the point where we don’t even know who we are anymore. I was there. That happened to me. In all honesty, I literally just found myself about 2 years ago. Really.

Who are you anyway? Have you lost yourself desperately trying to fit in, blend in and make friends? Do you have a short list of fake friends that you hang on to just for the sake of having friends? I used to, so don’t feel bad if you answered yes to that last question. We’ve all said yes at one time.

Are you my friend?

No one wants to be alone, ever. We all need and want friends. How bad do you need to have friends? How important is it to you to have true friendships? I realized that I no longer compromise my values and morals just to be someone’s friend. If you want to be my friend, a real friend, that’s great, if you don’t want to be my friend, that’s ok too.

We can’t all get along. I mean, this isn’t kindergarten, right? Wouldn’t it be beautiful if it was and we did though?

Do you love listening to motivational podcasts? You just might love mine!! :)

Peace and Love


(this post contains affiliate links so if you make a purchase I make a small commission but the best part of that is the more I make, the more hungry bellies I can feed here in Guatemala-win win!!)



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Iva Ursano is a retired hairstylist turned badass freelancer, who left behind 52 years of her life in Northern Ontario, Canada for a life of freedom, love and beauty in sunny Guatemala. She has two main purposes in life: feed hungry bellies and help inspire people to live a life of joy and love.