5 Things to Remember When Your Dreams Don’t Come True.

I have a dream.

Don’t we all? We should all have many dreams actually. Dreams keep us young and give us something to look forward to or, at the very least, give us something fun to work towards which, in turn, keeps us busy, productive and determined…or

Something like that…

When we have a dream, there are a few questions we ask ourselves almost immediately:

  • how long will it take to achieve it
  • is it possible (and really, just about anything is possible)
  • can I do it
  • how bad do I want it
  • what will others think (ya, most of us still have those thoughts I think)
  • when should I get started

I mean, there’s probably a million more questions but these are the ones that pop up into my mind first.

Let’s kick this dream into high gear.

Ok, so we’ve decided it’s time. Let’s do this!!. Pull out everything you’ve learned about the Law of Attraction and manifesting miracles. Grab your headphones and listen to every imaginable podcast and video there was ever produced to help you manifest the life of your dreams. Krazy glue your vision board to your office wall. Make a pretty journal dedicated JUST to this dream. You got this.

Here we go…..

and then…

Nothing happened. It didn’t happen. You did everything you were told to do and you fell flat.

So, Universe, what the heck? Like, really? Is this a joke?

Nope. It sure isn’t. That dream? Not for you. Nope. But wait, before you start beating yourself up and wondering where you went wrong, take these 5 things into serious consideration because after all, it’s not all your fault. Please keep in mind, some of these may be hard to swallow at the moment and you’ll probably wanna cuss me out but….anyway.

It wasn’t meant for you.

Really. It wasn’t. Sometimes what we think we really want is clouded by our one directional mind. Kinda like that whole not seeing the forest for the trees or not seeing the trees through the forest or however that saying goes (you know that one goes, you get it).

There is something better for you.

How many times have you heard that one? Does it make the hair on the back of your next stand up when someone says that to you? Well, it’s true though. You didn’t get what you wanted because it’s not good enough for you. The Universe stepped in and saved you (you can thank her later).

You’re free now.

Admit it, once your dream fell apart (or fell through) you breathed a small sigh of relief. You know you did. We practically heard it all the way here. Working towards realizing your dream was taking a toll on you. It was. It’s exhausting. You can rest and recharge now. Decompress if you will. It’s time for you to take time for you.

How smart are you now?

I bet you are absolutely brilliant now! I mean, look at all those things you learned while you were trying to work on your dream. You would have never learned any of that stuff if it wasn’t for this dream. You may not need this new skills soon but one day I bet they will come in handy, if not for you, maybe for you to help someone else (and helping others really is so much fun!!!).

Stand tall and proud.

Self confidence anyone? Your’s probably took a big dump but remember something here, what you did and all the steps you took to try to make this work, well most people probably wouldn’t have even had the balls to start and try. You did!! Look at you! You will soon become everyone’s hero. Trust me on this one. Everyone loves someone with balls (ok that came out wrong).

You know, dreaming big isn’t for the faint of heart. Actually, taking your dreams and working your butt off to bring them to reality is friggin hard and not everyone is up for that kinda hard work. You were, you did and you are stronger, smarter and wiser for it all. Yay you!

I think I’d like to be a unicorn.

Peace and Love


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September New Moon in Virgo-Reap What You Sow!!

Yippee!! It’s new moon time! The second favourite moon for me. The first one being the full one of course! So we’re already into September. Holy shit where did this year go anyway? Is it just me that thinks time flies by too fast? How are you making out on your goals for this year? One very important thing to remember for this time of year, you reap what you sow. The fall is harvest time. Everything you’ve planted all year long will slowly start growing. Trust the process.

The new moon in this month falls on Sunday September 9th.

New moon in Virgo

So if you know anything about Virgos you know they are analytical and like to solve problems by taking it step by step. Calm cool and collected. They will take the useful information and toss the rest. Focus goes on things the things that matter the most. Virgo is all about service, good service. 

If you need to learn how to serve in other ways, perhaps it’s time to maybe learn a new skill that will put you on top of your game. We are all here to serve and we should be doing things and learning things to help others. Including yourself. Don’t forget, we reap what we sow.

It’s always important to take care of yourself, physically, spiritually and emotionally. This is a good time to step back and see where there could be room for improvement in any of those areas. Is it time to change your diet, exercise more, meditate more perhaps? You know what you need. Listen to your body.

Remember you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Reap what you sow

So let’s get back to the energy of the new moon, the intentions, patience and all the things you’ve planted up to this point. We’ve been working hard all year long, planting little seeds all over. Some are going to sprout, some won’t. You will know which ones won’t and why they won’t by the way you feel about it.

If something isn’t sprouting it’s because it’s not meant for you. Tend to your other harvest. The one that really matters and fires up your soul.

Like a farmer, we plant things all year round but unlike a farmer, we want to see the results now dammit. Be patient. Take your time and have faith. Keep watering and praying and feeling good now. Your harvest is coming and you will definitely reap what you sow.

What does this new moon mean for you?

You’ve put in the hard work all year, it’s time to take a look to see what’s working and what’s not. If you’ve been plugging away at something for 9 months and still hitting a wall it may be time to analyze it, see why it isn’t working and maybe put it to rest or if you’re really passionate about it, take a step back, have a closer deeper look at it and see where you need to change up your applications.

New moons are all about intentions. Set your intentions and leave the rest up to the Universe and the energy of the moon. Don’t give up on something if you feel strongly passionate about it. Stay the course and know you will reap what you sow.

It’s also a great time to do the new moon ritual. You can check out this blog here for more information on that. Rituals are so important under the energies of the moons, new and full.

Do you love listening to motivational podcasts? You might like mine!

You also can find me now on Patreon. So much awesomeness over there!!!


Don’t You Dare Give Up!

I’m sure you’ve heard that expression before. When you give up, it’s game over. We fight to stay in the game so hard some days. Some days you wonder what it’s all for. It can feel hopeless.

I’ve recently been feeling like this. I work hard, up to 12 hours a day some days. I take little “me” breaks and then feel guilty because I think I should be working. I work til my head wants to explode, At the end of the day I go to bed and wonder if I accomplished anything of great value.

Did I make a difference in someone’s life today? Did I manage to touch at least one life? Am I on the right path? Is any of this working? It can all be very overwhelming sometimes.

I feel like giving up

Yup. Some days I just wanna pack it all in. I can’t see the fruits of my labour. I can’t feel the impact I’m making. I sit alone in my apartment up to 12 hours a day and get so fed up that I want to curl up in a ball and just tap out.

There are days I just want to give up and call game over. I’m done. So done. I’m not even sure what the driving force is some days to keep me going. I think this work ethic is just innate now. It’s all I’ve known for the last 3 years of my freelancing career. Work, write, engage, connect. Rinse and repeat.

Show me something?

Do you often feel like that? What’s it all for? Why do I keep doing what I’m doing? I feel like I’m on a hamster wheel going nowhere fast. It’s exhausting, it’s frustrating, it’s lonely and it’s somewhat aggravating. When will the rewards show itself?

Some of you may have been working really hard on a project. Maybe you have a dream you’re trying to actualize. Or could it be that you have an idea or a goal you are working toward and it seems almost pointless, hopeless if you will.

There aren’t any signs or clues that you are on the right path. Nothing. Crickets. When? When will something, anything, show itself to let me know I’m doing ok and I need to stay on my path and that it’s not game over?? When?

Is the game over for real?

I think about this sometimes and it’s usually just a very fleeting thought. I can’t give up. I didn’t come this far to only come this far. I’m not done. I’m far from done. It’s not game over for me, even though I really want it to be some days.

And then two things happen to me today that just confirm, I’m ok and keep going. My friend who is a podcast junkie critiques my new podcast and tells me it’s fantastic. Phew. Yay me. I’m doing ok.

And then over on Tailwind (this may be confusing for some here and I’m sorry) in a tribe I belong to over there (where we share each other’s pins) Tony Robbins is now a member and he re-pins one of my inspirational quotes. Are you  kidding me right now??

It’s the little things

Things that may be little to some people but are so huge to others, like me. Though Tony Robbins re-pinning one of my quotes isn’t exactly a little thing (though to him it might have been) it’s things like that that make me realize it’s all good. I’m on the right path.

It’s when you are at the breaking point that something usually gives. Something finally happens. Just when we’re about to give up and call game over, there’s a light.

It could be the smallest flicker of light. A tiny little flame. A spark if you will. Look for the little things that gently remind you you’re on the right path. You’re doing ok. Keep going. Don’t give up.

You didn’t come this far to only come this far. It’s not game over. Ever.

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Peace and Love

xo iva xo

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How to Stop Fear From Robbing You of the Life You Deserve

I’m pretty sure that fear in the #1 killer of dreams and hopes. Amirite? It will stop you dead in your tracks and it doesn’t back down either. It knows when you are in goal setting mode and swiftly jumps in and stops you! Whammo! Just like that, in your face. And you back away. Mm hmm.

I’m no stranger to fear but I don’t let it stop me anymore from living the life I want. Nope. Not this girl.

And trust me, I got a lot of fears. I know that’s kinda hard to believe. I mean, this coming from someone who:

  • sold all her stuff (53 yrs of her life to be exact)
  • packed two suitcases
  • bought a one way ticket
  • flew to Guatemala alone

Yup, I did all that and then some. Was I scared? Yup!!!

Fear will always get in the way of goal setting

Always.You have a dream, a goal, an idea. You think it through, maybe even write it out on paper and go over it. Then suddenly you get a lump in throat, you can’t breathe, you feel like throwing up and maybe even get sweaty palms. And then you stop. You put it away. Man,that’s way too scary. No way in hell that’s gonna work anyway.

So here’s one of my personal fears and examples.

My fear of heights is almost crippling. I face it as often as I can. I have to walk across a high bridge 4 times a week to get to the gym I go to. It terrifies me every damn time but I do it and now I even stop and look over the bridge to the river below. That also scares me, but I do it. Because being fit is important to me and I won’t let this fear stop me from reaching this goal.

And did you hear about my ziplining adventures? Oh geezus. This off the chart adventure was also in my goal setting journal. I seriously almost passed out from fear, I’m not even kidding. But I did it twice. Yup.

Face your fear, Iva. And I did.

But fear is terrifying….dammit!

Guess what else is scary?

Change. Yup. Change is hard. So hard.

Let’s look at my crazy life as an example (in a nutshell).

  1. 25 yrs as a hairdresser in a salon in a mall in Northern Ontario.
  2. Opened my own salon, ran it for 3 yrs, closed it and declared bankruptcy
  3. Right after that I left an abusive relationship without two cents to my name.
  4. No job, no money, no belongings, starting all over again at 51 yrs old.
  5. Taking on a challenge to become a full time freelancer and leave my hairstyling career
  6. Working on major personal development ( I had to reinvent my whole existence as I didn’t even know who I was after leaving my last relationship).
  7. And finally after two years of all that, ending up in Guatemala, alone, with no friends, rebuilding my life and living out my true purpose and calling in life.

WOW! You know, just reading that back I still can’t believe I did ALL that. Alone. But I did. You wanna talk about facing fears?  Did I ever. Was I scared? You bet. But I was determined. I’m a goal setting kinda gal and once I have a thought in my head about something I want to do, I chase it down like a pitbull. Yup.

Desire has to be bigger.

I had a miserable desperate and lonely existence in Sudbury. I hated my life and I wanted more. I wanted better. And I knew I deserved it. I had finally gotten to a point where my desire for a better life was stronger than my desire to live in misery.

Change had to happen and it DID in a huge way.

Did anything bad happen to me while I was going through all this? Probably a couple of little glitches but nothing I couldn’t handle. When you want change bad enough you face ALL your fears and do it!!

How big is your desire for a better life?

When you are goal setting, you need to ask yourself these questions.

  1. How bad do I want it?
  2. What am I prepared to do to make it happen?
  3. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
  4. Don’t I deserve to be happy?
  5. Where do I start?

If you feel like you need help goal setting and actually achieving your goals, fears and all, check out my resource page for tons of goodies!! Need more help flicking fear and achieving your dreams? Check out my new self help eBook From Hell to Happiness. Click here for more info and to download your copy now!


Oh yes you can. You got it in you. Your new life, the one you deserve and long for is waiting for you. It’s resting over there, on the other side of fear. Go get it, tiger!!

Do yourself the biggest favour of your life…

Face your fear,.

I love you.

I wonder what paragliding is like.

Peace and Love


a self improvement guide, an ebook to help you, a self help ebook , a personal development course, a personal growth ebook
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