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How to Overcome Fear and Live the Life You Deserve

Last Updated on 4 years by Iva Ursano

I’m pretty sure that fear is the #1 killer of dreams and hopes. Amirite? It knows when you are just about to do something brave and ballsy and swiftly jumps in and stops you! We’re gonna talk about how to overcome fear so you can live the life you truly desire and deserve.

I’m no stranger to fear but I don’t let it stop me anymore from living the life I want. Nope. Not this girl.

And trust me, I got a lot of fears. I know that’s kinda hard to believe. I mean, this coming from someone who:

  • sold all her stuff (53 yrs of her life to be exact)
  • packed two suitcases
  • bought a one-way ticket
  • flew to Guatemala alone

Yup, I did all that and then some. Was I scared? Yup!!! But I also learned how to overcome fear.

Overcoming fear of heights

There are many kinds of fear. Do you have any of the ones listed here:

  • flying
  • drowning
  • the dark
  • spiders (or other icky critters)
  • heights
  • bridges
  • failure
  • being alone

I have a few of the ones above, icky critters being one of them, bridges, heights, and the dark just to name a few. Let me share a story about my fear of heights.

So here’s one of my personal fears and examples.

My fear of heights is almost crippling. I face it as often as I can. I have to walk across a high bridge 4 times a week to get to the gym I go to. It terrifies me every damn time but I do it and now I even stop and look over the bridge to the river below. That also scares me, but I do it.

Because being fit is important to me and I won’t let this fear stop me from reaching this goal. If I want to go to the gym, I have to cross this high bridge. Period.

Also, the main market and the majority of the bars and restaurants and other things are on the other side of this high scary bridge. No matter what, I have to face my fear of heights, bridges, and water all at the same time.

And did you hear about my ziplining adventures? Oh geezus. This off the chart adventure was also on my bucket list of ridiculous crazy things to do.

I seriously almost passed out from fear, I’m not even kidding. But I did it twice. Yup. Overcoming this fear was a huge challenge for me and I’m so proud of myself for doing it. Ziplining is absolute amaze-balls!!!

“Face your fear, Iva”. I kept telling myself. And I did.

But fear is terrifying….dammit!

You might like this video from my hero Brendon Burchard. I adore him! I saw him in person a few years ago at a conference for entrepreneurs and he’s just so sincere and amazing.

Anyway, take a few minutes to check this out.

Facing fears is scary af!

But you know what else is scary and hard to do? Change. Yup. Change is scary and hard. So hard. But sometimes you have to make big scary changes in order to improve your life.

Let’s look at my crazy life as an example (in a nutshell).

  • 25 yrs as a hairdresser in a salon in a mall in Northern Ontario
  • Opened my own salon, ran it for 3 yrs, closed it and declared bankruptcy
  • No job, no money, no belongings, starting all over again at 51 yrs old.
  • Taking on a challenge to become a full-time freelancer and leave my hairstyling career
  • Working on major personal development ( I had to reinvent my whole existence as I didn’t even know who I was after leaving my last relationship).
  • And finally after two years of all that, ending up in Guatemala, alone, with no friends, rebuilding my life and living out my true purpose and calling in life.

WOW! You know, just reading that back I still can’t believe I did ALL that. Alone. But I did. You wanna talk about facing fears?  Did I ever. Was I scared? You bet. But I was determined.

It’s kinda funny to me because I have so many fears in life yet I still push the envelope and step way out of my comfort zone to try different things to improve my life.

Why you need to overcome your fears

I had a miserable desperate and lonely existence in Sudbury. I hated my life and I wanted more. I wanted better. And I knew I deserved it. I had finally gotten to a point where my desire for a better life was stronger than my desire to live in misery.

Change had to happen and it DID in a huge way. I also had to overcome many fears in order to make some of those changes.

Did anything bad happen to me while I was going through all this? Probably a couple of little glitches but nothing I couldn’t handle. When you want change bad enough you face ALL your fears and do it!!

How big is your desire for a better life?

How to overcome fear-5 questions to ask yourself

When you are faced head-on with one (or several) of your fears, you need to ask yourself these questions.

  1. How badly do I want it?
  2. What am I prepared to do to make it happen?
  3. What’s the worst thing that could happen?
  4. Don’t I deserve to be happy?
  5. Where do I start?

You have to keep in mind that whatever it is that you want to do that is scaring the poop out of you, someone is already doing it and someone else already did it.

I also want you to think of how ridiculously proud you will be of yourself for finally overcoming your fear of _____________ <insert fear here. Like YAY you did it!!

Let me tell you, there is no greater feeling than that. No greater feeling than taking one of your fears, facing your fear boldly and overcoming it. It’s absolutely amazing.

You’ll see.

Now you know how to overcome fear

It really is as simple as asking yourself those questions, making a plan, taking a deep breath, and just doing it. Remember, it’s our minds that play tricks on us and try to protect us from harm (and change!)

If you truly sincerely want to know how to overcome fear, face your fears and conquer them, train your mind and then go do the scary thing.

Do it. You got it in you. Your new life, the one you deserve and long for is waiting for you. It’s resting over there, on the other side of fear. Go get it, tiger!!

Do yourself the biggest favour of your life…

Learn how to overcome fear.

I love you.

I wonder what paragliding is like.

Peace and Love


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  1. I am in tears. This is the most helpful article I think I have ever read! It was the first thing to pop up on Pinterest. Almost as though I was supposed to see it.
    Fear is taking over my life.
    Now fear WAS taking over.
    Thank you for your beautiful bluntness!!!
    Is there a way to follow your writings?
    Don’t stop! You changed a life for the better today.

    1. Oh you don’t even know how happy that makes me Michele :) I am SO glad my article was helpful for you. You can follow me on my website, and I also write on under Iva Ursano. Please don’t forget to check out my Facebook page too! I do really fun and powerful lives there twice a week :) Amazing Me Movement xoxoxo

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