Last Updated on 2 years by Iva Ursano
I love who I am. I strive to be authentic. It’s taken me a while to get here, to this happy place I’m at now, and man oh man I sure love it. I honestly never knew how to be authentic until I left my last abusive relationship. True story.
One of my former co-workers one day looked over at me and said, with this huge funky smile on her face, “My God, Iva, you are such a free spirit!!” I am.
Her statement really made me stop and think. Omg, she’s right. I am. I actually had to take a step back and take that in. I AM a free spirit. What an absolutely wonderful feeling.
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I never knew how to be authentic
For years, I’ve tried to fit in, follow the crowd, be accepted, make everyone else happy (though I do still try to do that), you get my point. I’ve spent so much time, and notice I said spent, not wasted, trying to be someone I’m not. I spent so much time pretending to be someone I’m not.
I didn’t even know how to be authentic. Wasn’t even in my vocabulary.
It was all so downright exhausting!!
I always tried to do the right thing, whatever that was. I struggled all my life to find out who I am, what my purpose is, what makes me tick, what makes me happy. Have I got it all figured out yet? I’m pretty close. One thing I do know for sure is that I’m happier now than I ever have been in my whole life.
Why it’s so important to be authentic
People will love and treat you the way you treat yourself. If you are trying to please everyone all the damn time and pretending to be someone you’re not, they will jump all over that and take advantage of you.
It’s important to be authentic in order to not only gain respect from others but also to embrace the beauty of who you truly are. To live unabashedly and unapologetically.
We are all unique, magnificent and beautiful in our own ways but if you are hiding all your greatness to fit in or try to be liked, you are missing the mark and you will never be happy.
And in this world full of fakes, why on earth would you want to be one of them? Ew! Don’t you want to be trusted, respected, and loved for exactly who you are, not some fake person??
Of course you do!!!
What it means to be authentic
So what does it mean to be authentic?
It means to be you. Yourself. Showing off all your true colours and not caring if anyone likes it or not. It’s not about trying to fit in, blend in or be liked.
It’s about loving yourself exactly how you are, flaws, imperfections, and all and being free. You may enjoy this video I found on being authentic. I really love the way Teal explains it.
How and why I found my personal authenticity
So why and how did things change? Why did I decide I didn’t want to be like this anymore? How did I find my personal authenticity?
Because I was so done:
- living my life for everyone else
- pretending I’m someone I’m not
- living a lie
- painting on a happy face
- conforming to how society says I should behave at my age
- wasting away my life and not being true to me
I was tired of living like this. I was completely miserable and frustrated. I felt chained and confined to a person I wasn’t and I hated it.
So now I do what I please, live how I want, stand up for what I believe in, and walk away from anything or anyone who doesn’t bring joy to my soul and heart.
Be authentically you
Do you find yourself complaining and whining about the things you did, your faults, your mistakes, your life lessons?
Stop doing that!! You are who you are and you are beautiful exactly how you are. You are you! There’s no one else like you and no one can live your life but you. If you are still desperately trying to fit in and please everyone, please stop doing that.
The world needs and wants to see YOU. Magnificent and beautiful you. Be authentically you!!!
You have unique talents, a wonderful personality, fun and exciting passions, and a soul that’s longing to be felt around the world (or at least around your friends and family anyway). People will love you or hate you and none of it has anything to do with you. Remember that!
It doesn’t matter who you try to be are or how hard you try to make everyone happy, at the end of the day, none of that matters. The only thing that matters is you, how happy you are, and if you feel good about who you are.
You are not here to fit in, blend in, or be someone else. This is the only life you have. Live it as you.
How to Be Authentic in 5 Simple Steps
1 Start using your voice more.
Speak your truth. Let people hear the real you. If you don’t agree with something say so. If someone is disrespecting you, tell them. If you don’t like something, say so.
2 Say NO when you mean it and YES when you want to
You don’t have to always say YES especially when you truly mean to say NO. Don’t be afraid to say NO more. At the end of the day, your happiness is most important. You might like this article on how to deal with guilt while saying NO to people.
3 Look in the mirror and admire and love the beautiful person you
Tell yourself how beautiful and amazing you are. A little bit of self-talk and mirror work goes a long way. Find some good books to read or motivational videos to watch or listen to that will help you love yourself and accept yourself more. You might like this mini eBook I wrote on how to love yourself more. Click the image below (or click here) to learn more and download your copy today!
4 Wear what you want and stop caring what other people think of your outfit.
If you love it that’s all that matters. So many of us buy and wear clothes in order to gain other people’s approval. Please stop doing that. You be you babe!!
5 Smile more, give more, laugh more, and step out of your comfort zone more.
It’s so important to be authentic in all you do. If you want to laugh out loud, do so, smile at strangers, do that too. Are there scary or adventurous things you want to do but are too afraid of what people will think? Stop caring and go do those things.
This is your life man. It’s up to you to live it to the absolute fullest. It’s up to you to live your life for YOU and not anyone else.
Peace and love,
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