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How to Be More Self Confident in 3 Simple Steps!

Last Updated on 1 year by Iva Ursano

If you’re reading this now I’m going to make the assumption that your confidence is not quite at an all time high. That’s ok. Mine isn’t always either. Today I’m gonna share how to be more self confident in 3 super easy steps

Being self confident doesn’t come easy and it takes practice and a bit of hard work too. But these 3 easy steps on how to be more self confident are gonna surprise you!

Does the following resonate with you?

Some days we feel we can conquer the world. Other days we want to curl up in a ball and hide. Are you with me here? Ya. I get you.

There was a time I had absolutely 0 self confidence. Nothing. Zippo. Zilch. Oh I used to walk around with my head held high thinking I was queen of the castle but I wasn’t. It was just a show. I was just pretending. I had nothing.

No self worth, low self esteem, no self confidence. Not.a.single.thing.

I took plenty of time after I left my last abusive relationship building confidence and working on my crappy self worth. I asked myself a million questions all the time:

  • who are you Iva?
  • what do you want in life?
  • why don’t you love yourself?
  • what’s wrong with you?

Those and many other questions. I spent a full year on a personal growth journey. It was tough af but I made it through. That happened about 8 years ago and to this day I still work on myself. I still read inspirational blogs on how to be more confident.

I probably always will.

How to gain confidence

It’s not like you can just take a 6 month course and then you graduate and you think your poop doesn’t stink anymore and you’re good to go. Nope, not at all. You’re constantly learning, evolving and reading blogs about ‘how to gain confidence’ and ‘how to be more self confident’ and ‘how to work on your low self esteem’. 

It’s constant.

If you had a crappy upbringing like I did or one too many toxic relationships with narcissists then you know triggers happen. You also know how hard it is to boost your confidence by yourself. It’s hard to do that when we don’t believe in ourselves or love ourselves.

But it’s not impossible either. If you’re still here and reading, you are determined to learn how to be more self confident and yay you!!!

Building confidence takes practice

You know that line ‘fake it til you make it’? Ya. That one. It comes in handy as you are building confidence. Trust me on that one. You’re not always going to believe the things you say to yourself to get you to believe in yourself more.

All the positive affirmations are great but sometimes they are just words on a poster.

We read them and turn away.

But you have to read them and let them sink in. You have to read them over and over again. You have to shout them out to yourself sometimes. It may sound silly at first. I don’t care. Do it anyway. It helped me learn how to gain confidence in myself.

It will work for you too. But. You have to work it.

How to be more self confident in 3 easy peasy steps!

You can try all these steps or 1 or 2 or none even but I encourage you to at least, just try. Please. Remember nothing changes if nothing changes. And also remember, you are worth it!!

I love this quote by Jen Sincero:

You are a big deal!

You can check out more Jen Sincero quotes here:

10 Jen Sincero Quotes That Will Remind You How Bad**s You Are

So let’s get to the 3 steps on how to be more confident so you can go kick the world’s butt and show it who’s boss. Or something like that.

1 Write yourself a letter

A love letter if you will. Talk about all the amazing and wonderful gifts you have to offer the world. Are you a good singer or maybe you are a fantastic artist. Maybe you have a heart of gold or you have a warm and sunny personality.

Write out every single thing you love about yourself and then remind yourself how amazing you are. I wrote this letter awhile back and it sure packs a hard solid punch.

Dear Me, Damn You!!

To be honest, every now and then I still go back and read that letter. It’s so powerful When you write yours, make sure it’s just as amazing as you are.

2 Mirror talk

Need a confidence boost in a jiffy? Like you know those days when you’re feeling really low and you want a quick fix? Mirror talk kicks some serious ass.

It may seem really weird at first but when you do it enough, you get used to it and then after awhile, every time you see a mirror out of habit you just talk to yourself! It’s great!

You can do this in your bathroom mirror, bedroom mirror, hallway mirror, I don’t really gaf which mirror you use. The reflection is all the same, beautiful lovely YOU!

Get to that mirror and tell yourself how beautiful you are. Tell yourself  how amazing you are. Tell yourself how friggin awesome you are. It’s gonna be hard at first. Trust me on that one. It’s gonna feel awkward and like we’re lying to ourselves.

But you’ll see. In time. You will believe yourself and you’ll be looking for mirrors!!

3 Dress for success

I don’t mean like you’re ready to prance down the red carpet or that you are off to dinner with Jason Momoa (oh hello) but I know personally, when I’m feeling crummy, I stay in my pjs all day with bed head and hide.

Not totally advisable but I’m being honest here.

What do I mean dress for success? You don’t have to go out and spend a fortune on a new wardrobe or anything like that but next time you are heading out to the mall or the grocery store or wherever, go that extra little mile and maybe comb your hair or put on that killer lipstick that makes you feel invincible.

Go that extra mile and do yourself up! Not for everyone else but for YOU!! You already know that when you look like a million bucks you FEEL like a million bucks. Don’t skimp out next time you are getting ready to go somewhere.

Put on those gorgeous earrings. Brush that glitter eye shadow on your lids. No holds barred baby!!

There are so many ways on how to be more self confident?

There are probably a million more ways to help build your confidence but these 3 worked wonders for me and continue to do so when I need a confidence boost. I get that you’re self esteem and self worth are at an all time low but only you can fix that.

You are the only one who can work on you! Aren’t you worth it? Of course you are.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

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