When is it really time to get out of that relationship? Like how long do you let it go on and on for until you finally have had enough and finally move on? I’ve held onto relationships for way longer than I should have just in hopes that surely it will get better.
We all think like that, right? He or she will smarten up OR maybe it’s you that needs to smarten up. Who knows really and, quite honestly, it’s not my business but you know something has got to give. So how do we know when it’s time to get out then?
When is it time to move on?
My last relationship was a real eye opener for me. I hung on for SO long and it was absolutely ridiculous BUT I have to tell ya, to be honest, it sure taught me a lot about myself. Maybe I was supposed to hang on for so long in order for me to grow? It was definitely time to move on.
It’s anyone’s guess really but I’m kinda glad I did because the person I am today probably would never have emerged unless I had those lessons. I put up with a lot and I imagine he did too. I am not perfect by any stretch. I think we both hung on for the same reason. But I knew it was time for me to move on.
And then came the signs to let go
Because it was ok, and it was sure to get better. For me, however, all the little signs were starting to add up. The signs showing me to the door. The only difference this time is that I was actually following them. Here were my signs.
Rudeness was becoming more frequent.
I mean really rude. Like saying rude things to me that you would only say to someone you really didn’t like. You know the stuff you blurt out to some jerk who cut you off on the road while you’re driving. Ya, stuff like that. If you or your partner is doing this, stop. Just stop now. It’s mean and hurtful. Why didn’t this sign cue me to move on then?
Are you ignoring me again?
That was up there on the list. Why would you want to ignore someone you live with, claim to love and claim to be best friends with? I don’t get that. I think for me, being ignored is one of the most hurtful things you can do to me. Don’t I matter? Don’t you care?
Bullying isn’t just in the school yard anymore.
Bullying is for cowards and jerks. Period. If you or your partner is being a bully grow up and smarten up. If you have self esteem or anger issues perhaps it’s time to get help. When you get a thrill of picking on the little guy, then you got bigger problems thank you think. Move on!!
Scared to talk about some things.
You know that if you bring up a certain subject again it’s going to be a huge argument again. But it’s not just like family dinners, it’s more serious and more often. Seems these days you can’t really bring up too much without your partner losing their marbles. When you have reached a point where trying to discuss anything civilly is a disaster, it might be time.
Many things are starting to become less pleasant.
Things like shopping for groceries, road trips, maybe even sex. There is either usually an argument or just simply isn’t pleasant for whatever reason. For me, shopping started becoming a nightmare. It was his way, he bought what he wanted, he never walked beside me, always ahead of me, it was horrible…which leads me to #6.
Walking ten steps ahead of you.
This falls in the rudeness category too but it really is a combination of many things I think: it’s a power trip thing, it’s super ignorant, it’s a control thing, it’s belittling and mean. I can really go on and on here but this, for me, was the meanest thing he used to do. I got so tired of feeling like that little person.
I don’t think I like you, really.
Love and like are both kinda necessary to have in a relationship. When I got to the point where I didn’t even like him anymore, I knew it was time. I loved him when he was on his best behaviour but really despised him when he was a jerk, which happened more than I would have liked near the end. I simply didn’t like him. I had to move on.
Who were you with, what were you doing, who is that, where were you?
Omg.! When you have to start the 3rd degree, give it up. If it’s that bad that you have to ask a million questions every time they step foot in the door, leave, just go, like right now. You have no trust and I seriously doubt you ever will. It’s pointless really. Clearly they have caused you to mistrust them and no matter what they say or do at this point, you will probably never trust them again. Do yourselves both a favour and just end amicably before it gets worse.
There are probably a million more signs and reasons to leave a crappy relationship but these were some of the signs for me that smacked me upside the head and said “Girl, it’s time to go”. Do you recognize any of these signs and maybe counselling isn’t an option anymore or never was or who knows really. Mine lasted two sessions in counselling and declared “let’s just settle this at home with a bottle of wine” Yup, that’s great.
If you are in a relationship that has any of these signs, you already are alone and unloved. You deserve so much more. Really. Get out.
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