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30 Brutal Narcissistic Abuse Quotes That Will Hit You in the Feels

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Iva Ursano
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You know I write an awful lot about healing from the past and forgiving others and all that kind of good stuff. I also write a lot of articles that share quotes with you and this one is no different. I thought today I would marry the two topics, healing and quotes, and share with you 30 powerful narcissistic abuse quotes that will shake you up, wake you up and remind you why you left or why you should leave!

This post has been updated from 10 quotes to 30 quotes. The new quotes about narcissism can be found at the bottom of this blog post. Thank you!

(this post contains an affiliate link so if you make a purchase I make a small commission-affiliate disclosure)

Dealing with a narcissist is exhausting

Oy. How many of you have had many sleepless nights because of your narcissist husband, wife, boyfriend or girlfriend or any toxic relationship you have right now?

I’ve had my fair share that’s for sure. I can remember nights going to bed sick to my stomach and wishing the world would just end and take me out of my misery.

It’s no fun. At all.

Dealing with a narcissist is exhausting - 30 Brutal Narcissistic Abuse Quotes That Hit Hard

I knew without a shadow of a doubt that no matter what I said or did, nothing was going to change. My narcissistic boyfriend was not going to change. If I wanted to be happy and live a relatively normal-ish life I had two choices:

  • leave him, or
  • ignore him and put up with it

You already know which one I chose. I left him and no it wasn’t easy. I had nothing to my name. Not even two cents to rub together but I knew if I ever wanted to be happy this was what I had to do.

Narcissistic people will fight you until you crumble to the ground. Too often we lose ourselves in these toxic relationships because we fear there is no way out.

Toxic narcissistic behavior hurts everyone

For many of us, the signs aren’t so clear. I know personally that I just thought toxic narcissistic behavior was simply because of the way they were raised and they didn’t know any better.

Like they didn’t have better role models to nurture them and help them grow into loving kind human beings.

I didn’t even know that narcissistic behavior was a thing. It wasn’t until much later on in life that one of my sisters informed me that we were raised by a narcissistic mother.

Dealing with a narcissist is exhausting - 30 Brutal Narcissistic Abuse Quotes That Hit Hard

I had no clue. I just thought she was a product of her upbringing.

This behavior is damaging to everyone, even the narcissist, though they don’t think it does. I feel that independent of the fact that these people in our lives are narcissists I honestly don’t believe they are happy. I think they are very sad and broken people operating on an extreme defense mechanism level.

What are the traits of a narcissist?

So many of us still have no idea we are dealing with a narcissist. Remember I had no clue. Narcissistic personality disorder is a real thing. A real scary thing.

If you recognize any of the signs listed below in your spouse, partner, family member friend, co-worker, or whoever, then you are dealing with someone who is suffering from a narcissistic personality disorder.

Signs of narcissistic personality disorder:

  • frequently bully you with no remorse at all
  • they seek constant praise and attention
  • exaggerate talents and skills
  • require and demand appreciation and attention
  • an exaggerated sense of self-importance
  • lack of empathy towards others

Narcissistic abuse is extremely damaging with long term effects

If you or someone you know is dealing with a narcissist please do them or yourself a favour and learn either how to deal with them or find the courage to leave. The long term effects of narcissistic abuse can go on for years.

I feel I have finally healed from all the narcissists in my life but every now and then a trigger comes up and whammo!

I’m curled up in a ball crying again. I hope one day this eventually ends. So many, too many, of us don’t heal or don’t even know we’re in a relationship with a narcissist.

If you’re not sure if you are dealing with someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder, this blog I wrote a while back might help you understand them a bit more.

You really should read it if you are unsure. It explains a lot!

How To Spot a Narcissist-5 Warning Signs You Can’t Ignore

(don’t forget to Pin or share that article and this one too!)

Read these narcissistic abuse quotes as often as you have to!

Often when I sit to write articles I have to decide what kinds of things to share that I think you will get the most value from. I love to share a lot of quotes and blogs about healing and being happy and this one will be no different.

The narcissistic abuse quotes I am going to share with you today are little mini wake up calls for you. Little gentle reminders that you are better off without your narcissistic partner OR that it just might be time to leave them.

I want you to read these quotes as often as you have to. Print them out and tape them all over your house if you have to. No wait don’t do that. Especially if you are still living with your narcissist. Oops.

But maybe tuck them in your purse or wallet or pocket and read them every now and then to give you the courage you need to finally leave. Whatever you do with them and however they move you, I hope they help you in dealing with your narcissist and help you let go, heal and move on.

You might also like these great quotes blogs about being a strong woman, relationships, and letting go/moving on.

10 Narcissistic Abuse Quotes

Without further ado, I will now share 10 powerful and intense narcissistic abuse quotes that will certainly hit you hard in the feels.

Narcissists try to destroy your life with lies because they know theirs can be destroyed with the truth.

They will do anything in their power to make your life a living hell, even lie. Remember you deserve so much more than that. Find your voice and speak your own truth.

2 Narcissists are masters of pathologizing your emotions. They convince you that your emotional reactions to the abuse are the problem, rather than the abuse itself. ~Shahida Arabi

They will tell you it’s all in your head and that you are the problem. They will tell you that you are overreacting. Don’t buy into any of it. The abuse is the problem, not you.

3 The narcissist doesn’t want your love, they don’t know what love is. They want your admiration and obedience as a player in their fake make-believe world.

They have no idea how to love. Maybe because they were never given the love we all deserve growing up. They thrive on having their ego fed and by you playing their game, it gets fed. Don’t play their game.

4 Narcissists don’t change because they don’t want to change. They want to keep on using and abusing because it gets them the attention they so desperately crave. ~Anne McCrea

They are attention seekers. Remember that! As long as they keep getting the attention they crave and desire they will never change. Why would they?

If you don't heal what hurt you, you will bleed all over those who didn't cut you. 

This quote actually works both ways. The narcissist will bleed all over you because he/she hasn’t healed. The other way this quote can be read is that you need to heal from your ex narcissistic partner or you will bleed over the next person.

6 Truth is like surgery. It hurts but it cures. A lie is like a pain killer. It gives instant relief but has side effects forever.

Read that one many times if you have to. A lie is a lie is a lie and you will feel the pain from that lie forever. Part of narcissistic personality disorder is lying, a lot, all the time. Notice the signs, get out.

7 A narcissist will manipulate everyone around you to betray you. This is not a reflection of who you are but more of a reflection of the narcissist powers of manipulation and the integrity of other people.

You know there’s a quote that goes something like this: live your life in such a way that if anyone spoke badly of you, no one would believe them. Your true friend and the people who matter and care won’t believe the narcissist’s lies. If they do, you don’t need these people in your life.

8 A narcissist doesn’t care how he makes you feel as long as he provokes an emotion from you it makes him feel superior and powerful. But one day you will look at him and feel nothing.

One day you will get to the point where you feel nothing, you finally see right through him and you make the decision to go. I hope you find the courage and strength to do that sooner than later.

I told ya these were gonna be hit you hard in the feels! I share them with you now to open your eyes to the truth behind narcissism.

They will suck the life right out of you. Many of them know and see your spark, your beauty, and how much people adore and love you. This will make them insanely jealous and they won’t have any of that. You know what I mean.

And probably one of the most powerful narcissist quotes ever is my favourite!

9 The only way to win with a toxic person is not to play.

Just don’t. It’s so not worth it and you will lose every time. You will lose lots of things. Things like:

  • self-worth
  • self-esteem
  • self-confidence
  • self-respect
  • self-love

Is it worth it? Heck no! If you are in a toxic relationship right now and too afraid to leave try to find someone to talk to or who can help you. Too many of us never leave and live in misery day in and day out. Remember that’s not why we are here.

I had a lot of healing to do after I left my narcissistic boyfriend and honestly, guided meditations and hypnosis’ really helped me a lot!

I read this the other day and my mind was blown:

hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared

There is so much power to that statement. They thrive on hate. It’s in their blood and all they know. Narcissistic people have little to no sensitivity. They simply dgaf.

Leaving a toxic relationship is hard but not impossible

We are here to live in joy. We deserve love and to be happy. Whatever you are going through or dealing with, know you don’t have to. I know leaving is scary and hard but it’s not impossible. When I decided to leave my narcissistic boyfriend my whole world opened up to amazing opportunities and miracles.

Trust that this will happen for you too. I hope these intense and powerful quotes hit you in the feels like they were meant to do. Not hurt you, but wake you up.

Did these narcissistic abuse quotes hit you in the feels?

Dealing with a narcissist is exhausting - 30 Brutal Narcissistic Abuse Quotes That Hit Hard

I mean, I hope these narcissistic abuse quotes really woke you up and shook you to your core. I hope they hit you hard in the feels so that if you are still in a relationship with a narcissist that maybe these quotes will give you the courage to get up and leave.

Always remember there is help and you are never alone. Ever! Reach out to a professional if you have to or a friend/family member to help you leave your narcissist once and for all!!

NEW 20 Additional Quotes About Narcissists

11 When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but you stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth just like you did.– Jill Blakeway

12 How starved you must have been that my heart became a meal for your ego.– Amanda Torroni

13 Narcissists will destroy your life, erode your self-esteem, and do it with such stealth as to make you feel that you are the one that’s letting them down.

14

Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm

15 That which he projects ahead of him as his ideal, is merely his substitute for the lost narcissism of his childhood – the time when he was his own ideal. – Sigmund Freud

16 I wish that people would stop destroying other people just because they were once destroyed. – Karen Salmansohn

17 In a narcissist’s world you are not their one and only. You are an extension of that person and last place in their mind, while they secure back up narcissistic supply. – Shannon L. Alder

18 But the line between moral behavior and narcissistic self-righteousness is thin and difficult to discern. – Dean R.Koontz

19 Since narcissists deep down feel themselves to be faultless, it is inevitable that when they are in conflict with the world they will invariably perceive the conflict as the world’s fault. – M. Scott Peck

20 Hate is the complement of fear and narcissists like being feared. It imbues them with an intoxicating sensation of omnipotence.- Sam Vaknin

21 You will never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air.

22 Nobody can be kinder than the narcissist while you react to life on his terms. –  Elizabeth Bowen

23 There’s a reason narcissists don’t learn from mistakes and that’s because they never get past the first step which is admitting that they made one. – Jeffrey Kluger

24

Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.

25 Narcissistic love is riding on the rollercoaster of disaster filled with a heart full of tears. — Sheree Griffin

26 A narcissist doesn’t break your heart, they break your spirit. That’s why it takes so long to heal.

27 It’s so nice when toxic people stop talking to you. It’s like the trash took itself out. — Karen Salmansohn

28 No matter how socially skilled an extreme narcissist is, he has a major attachment dysfunction. The extreme narcissist is frozen in childhood.  – Samuel Lopez de Victoria

29 Narcissists are afflicted with a bottomless appetite. . .for recognition, attention, glory, rewards.  And it’s a zero-sum thing.  Every moment a narcissist spends listening to another party guest tell a story is a moment in which the stage has been surrendered. – Jeffrey Kluger

30 Underneath the so-called narcissistic personality is definitely shame and the paralyzing fear of being ordinary. – Brené Brown

I hope you enjoyed these narcissistic abuse quotes. Please don’t forget to share.

Peace and Love

xo iva xo

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Comments

56 responses to “30 Brutal Narcissistic Abuse Quotes That Will Hit You in the Feels”

  1. Wanda lambert

    Thank you!! I am
    Still going through a situation with two narcissistic grown daughters. I have grandchildren &’ I can’t just give up although I did nothing to cause them to stop talking to me except come to my sick husband & they weren’t ok with that.I need counseling. 😢💔

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      I’m sorry this is happening to you. I hope you can find someone near you to speak to and find some peace and comfort in all this. xo

      Reply
      1. Indra Samuel

        What you said is like my daughter for thirty-four years I have taken the abuse I finally walk away from her I miss her but not her hurtful words I hope one day she will realise and come look for me

        Reply
        1. Iva Ursano

          I’m sorry to hear this. I hope one day too things will work out for you xoxo

          Reply
    2. D Dot

      Thank you Iva

      Reply
      1. Nellie

        I married a man who made himself appear as a God fearing man. Right after the wedding ceremony he has flipped a switch to someone whom I didn’t know. Many years ago I was physically abused by my common law husband. I left and learned the dangers to not get involved with some one like that again. Up to date: turns out the man I married was a gaslighting narcissist. He did everything name it, he did it. This was my first marriage at 55 yrs young. I started to see things, talked to the pastor I wasn’t believed. It was hell. I was married to him for 2 1/2 years. Left no one to help me from church. They didn’t believe me because “he’s such a nice guy “. Yep, he had put his hands on my shoulders while facing me, started to massage my shoulders and then he started.to put his hands around my throat with his thumbs on the Adam’s apple. Dangerous situation no marks for evidence. I left quietly without him knowing what I was doing. I was afraid and i never let on that i was. Because I know they thrive on fear.

        Reply
        1. Iva Ursano

          Good on you for leaving and sorry you had to go through this :(

          Reply
        2. Beth

          I am in a divorce from my husband of 38 years. He texted me on our anniversary saying “Happy Anniversary! I love you”. This man left with all of our financial records, all of our money, somehow manipulated me and he has cost me thousands of dollars. I am still afraid of him. He damaged my car, destroyed my mailbox and has stalked me. When the State Police spoke with him it just raised his level of retaliation to a whole new level. I am 69, back at work and he is suing ME for spousal support. He has the retirement. He told my family and his family that this was all my fault. What a guy. I knew I would pay for standing up to him. I don’t miss his controlling, abuse or lack of remorse. I feel so damaged.

          Reply
          1. Iva Ursano

            I’m so sorry you are going through this xoxox

    3. Kimberly

      I normally don’t read the comments but today I scrolled upon yours. And it’s the first time I’ve heard of another situation similar to mine. I have 3 grown daughters who don’t speak to me. Its heartbreaking. Their dad wasnt interested in being a real parent. He left that all up to me. Which gave him an out, this way he could blame me for everything that went wrong. Even after we separated he was not involved in their life. He left it all to me (my punishment because I’m the one who wanted the divorce) he could sit there in judgement and watch struggle barely keeping my head above water, once they were adults that’s when he steps in. Unbelievable. He was able to keep tabs on me using them to do his dirty work. They started alienating me. Keeping secrets and if I confronted them I was told I’m paranoid. Eventually they all turned on me. I never in a million years imagined I wouldn’t have a relationship with my own kids.

      Reply
      1. Iva Ursano

        Omgosh I’m so sorry to hear this. This truly makes me so sad :( I hope one day your kids will come around and you can be close again…xoxo

        Reply
      2. Donnie

        Kimberly, I do feel your pain & it is the absolute most inferiorating &self centered thing to do to your ex just bc they think they can, but the older they get & (Yes I know that the days lost with your kids can feel as if its gonna Flippin kill ya bc you hurt fur then having to do without a loving parent who would’ve DIED 4 them)but the older they get to be , the more they seek miss their Mama&also see what kind of person HE truly is. they will come around& when they do ,just hug em & love em…bc thats gonna your time to Shine in just being a Caring& Loving Mom. Now I’m also going to be Realistic…What about NOW? I know, Right. I’m a Dad who’s 16 yr.old son, since turning 14. Has been kept from me,his daddy,on purpose out of nothing but HATE&BITTERNESS! She would rather please her own daddy, (he was kicked to the curb bc he was a Cocain addict&alcoholic & obviously some other issues&not keeping his hands to himself ect-(I never respected nor really even liked the stupid fella at all bc he’s creepy but as for her mom,she salutes her every word ,all the way from here in Alabama & back up to the top right corner, Conneticut. The were NEVER there fur her until about 3 years into our Marriage. I have NEVER abused her nor my son & never would even be an option, & was a Faithful Husband but over 2 years later she PURPOSELY told my 16 year old son “NO” when wanting to come watch the”ALABAMA/AUBURN GAME!!!!” I’ve ONLY spent 2 days with & never over night having to take care of me folks bc their not doing so well& him & I both were just crushed over her egotistical “full custody” decisions &believe me, she’s list touch with life I guess . I’ve never seen anything like it in my entire life. But just as week he tells me she threatens and then follows through with calling the police on him ,(3times) & he’s now losing friends bc of HER IDIOCRACY & that’s being nice. So now IVE gotta fugue out how to handle this but YOU…..Always remember THIS;
        Every response&reaction that you display regardless of the situation, will stay in the hearts of your kids. I will keep you in Prayers bc we all commit our share of sins/mistakes but whoever gets the first uppercase seemingly attempys selfishly to ruin the other parents name to their kids. O have have to Repent DAILYbv of the anger hury & pain they seems to bury me some days buy I have to remember “What if my son Comes by today? I I always wanted to be ready when he did so he would see that I’ve been waiting on him all this time and it finally happened last week so there you go never give up! Apologize for Writing a book I just stand very passionate about the subject I never knew it was this difficult some people will always make it difficult on you just to be CRUEL & CONTROLLING FOR NO REASON! For the first time ever, I saw a picture if her on Facebook & thought”How Damn ugly can someone possibly be I’ve been so beautiful all these years 17 to be exact God-bless?”

        Reply
  2. Fawares

    Thank you for your quotes they Are really helpful and straight to the situation every person is living if in contact with a narcissistic partner

    Reply
  3. Samantha

    I have read alot about narcissists, but nothing like this .this is so true and wonderfully written.the advice is so takened,thank you ,and God bless.

    Reply
  4. Tina

    Thank you for sharing these. I am healing from narcissist abuse from my family. Thanks for showing that one can survive It.

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Yes we certainly can survive and grow stronger from it xoxo

      Reply
  5. Tammy Bjorklund

    I was married to a narcissist for 29 years. I thought I was going crazy as he lived above the law, lied to my children and still does 10 years later about me being mentally ill, having an affair, etc. He is remarried now for 3 years and is very wealthy. I don’t know why as we don’t keep in touch, but he pries and digs deep to find anything wrong with me from afar and still tears me down to others. I ignore him, have blocked him, but his hateful obsession to this day of me is worrisome. My kids are 35 and 37. I never talk bad about him, but he still poisons them. Why can’t he move on and will he do the same to this wife? Definitely got the PTSD to deal with, but I am happy flying solo and by the grace of God have my self esteem back. What an awful way to live—as a narcissist. Will my kids ever see through his facade?

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      They may or may not or they may just love him and see him for the part he has played in their lives.

      Reply
  6. Rhonda Parker

    Wow unbelievable I cannot believe what I have gone through in the last 6 years when I met my narcissist which I didn’t know what a narcissist was. He swept me off my feet I had just gone through a divorce I was sad I was lonely and he said everything that I needed to hear. He made me feel so special like no other man has ever made me feel. He told me he was married and his wife didn’t stimulate him physically or emotionally. And I guess because my husband cheated on me it really didn’t matter at the time. In the beginning things was so nice he said all the right things we used to say that everyday seem like Christmas Eve. I noticed that things started to change he became very controlling wanted to know my whereabouts and all times didn’t want me hanging with my family my friends or even go out to the clubs anymore. But because I loved him and wanted to keep things good between us I tried too accommodating him in every way I could. THEN HE BeCAME very disrespectful calling me every name in the book he called me names I had never heard of before then that’s when I realize something is wrong I have become so depressed developing physical symptoms numbness inmy arms blood pressure was always high I just felt sick to my stomach all the time nothing I did was ever right nothing I said was ever right he blame me for everything. In November of 2019 he suddenly died of a massive heart attack. I did get a chance to go to the funeral I saw his wife and kids they didn’t seem sad at all. How do I grieve how do I move on. I am so mad and angry at myself for letting this happen to me. I know what I went through in 6 years God only knows what his wife and kids went through in 20 years

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Sorry for the struggle you are going through. It’s hard no question about that. I suggest listening to cord cutting meditations to release the pain anger frustration and attachment to this. xoxo

      Reply
    2. Kristine

      I am that lady … covert narcissist married for 29 years … starting divorce now and being life is hard with them…. being in a divorce with a narcissist is brutal- I am ( barely) living proof – God Bless🙏🏽❤️

      Reply
      1. Iva Ursano

        I’m so sorry. I know this is hard. Stay strong. You’re going to be ok. xoxox

        Reply
  7. Cynthia

    Thank you .. you explain well . I even wrote them down to help get through the struggle…

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Thank you. Here’s to hoping you get through your struggle and find some inner peace xoxo

      Reply
  8. Andra Tomlinson

    I am married to a narcissist and just met and also have a live I. Boyfriend who I am discovering is one as well my life is a living hell but I found your article to be very encouraging honest and enlightening!

    Thank you !

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Dump the narcissists in your life. You deserve better xoxox

      Reply
  9. Lucia Stauss

    In the process of divorcing my husband who I now think is a covert narcissist. We are married 28 yrs. So much time lost. I am trying to stay positive. My oldest is supportive of me. The rest of my children don’t know yet. Thank you for this article. It really does help to read others stories.

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Have faith and stay strong while you go through this. You will be just fine!! xoxo

      Reply
  10. Rhonda

    I admire your information!!! I left after 4 1/2 years of torture!! I had enough plus some. The trauma I am still enduring is still painful but being in the terrible situation is much worse .
    Thank you so much for helping myself and others through this horrific experience!!!
    So much time wasted!! I’m moving on and thank God for that!
    God Bless you !!!!

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Keep healing and moving forward, never look back. xoxo

      Reply
  11. INGEBURG

    A friend of ours ( we are a longtime married couple ! ) has a fixation on my husband . She is a classical narcissist as you describe in the narcissistic comments . My husband is now sick with dementia and this woman is trying to make my life miserable . My husband can no longer say NO so she sued me for visiting rights ! She is allowed to visit him . She lied to the court of course . My life is now horrible . She is trying to control me and wants my husband’s remains . It is absolutely crazy . She is a physician and she uses her title to manipulate people . I have a lawyer and I will fight her but I am stressed out . Thank you !

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Omgod!!! How horrible :( I hope everything works out for you. xoxo

      Reply
  12. Dawn Seniow

    I broke free From my narc/drug addicted husband, last June . Filed divorce. I felt so strong.. now almost a year, Im struggling. I should have stuck with no contact.. Now I feel even worse because he is living his life.( sober). For 7 years I stood by him!! Now he is destroying me….all over by his lack of interest in me..Its seems no matter what he does, he gets away with it. Im angry and broken…

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Why are you still hanging on then? You broke free and divorced. The end. Time to move on and let him live his life and you go on and live yours.

      Reply
  13. Jen

    I am currently going through the worst time of my life and trying to stay as positive as I can. I’m 31 have a 7 month old son who I love more than anything. My narcissistic ex partner/ father 46 is now taking me to court for custody trying to make himself look perfect and of course make me out to be “ the crazy one” he’s an alcoholic also so our relationship has been hell. This he also has pointed on me. He’s never helped with raising or caring for my son and he terrifies the living hell out of me. I hope and pray that everything will work out and I can finally live a life of happiness and peace with my precious son. It’s been an exhausting 2 years.

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      I am so sorry you are going through this Jen. I am sending lots of positive love and energy your way so things work out for you xoxoxo

      Reply
  14. Mark

    They do come in a female model, Mis Andry

    Reply
    1. Just Me

      Mark – Yes, they do. My son is in a very bad situation… I’m not sure he recognizes how much this female’s abuse has destroyed him. She is such an amazingly convincing liar, and plays on other people’s sympathy so well – I doubt any of her ‘friends’ or co-workers would believe it if told how horribly she treats him. You are correct – narcissists definitely come in a female model.

      Reply
  15. sand

    I just got married in August. This man in unbelievable. The lies. The word salads. No need to argue with him. I never win or even coME TO A SOUTION. I suggested therapy and the pastor. Noooo! He does not trust anyone. I suggested prayers for a married couple that we read together. NOOO! You read it, i will listen. Nothing in this world satisfies him. Always angry. If I say anything about working on the marriage, I am the problem. Always talking about divorce, because he knows that I have been divorced before and I dont want that. I know he is cheating. Patterns that he thinks is invisible to the naked eye. The name calling, silent treatment, gas lighting, narcissistic rage to the tenth degree. I am tired of trying. Afraid to leave. Afraid to stay.

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      I’m sorry you are going through all this Did he suddenly turn into this person after you were married or was he like this before you got married? Weren’t there any red flags before? It’s hard to believe there weren’t any. Just leave.

      Reply
  16. Serena

    Iv been in a relationship for over 10 yrs. Iv always been a hidden secret. He sleeps with other woman he lies everyday. He fills my head full of promises and nothing changes. He will chase me when I walk away but treats me like shit once I’m back where he wants me. This has destroyed me as a person. My heart is broken, My soul has been darkened my mind is confused. My kids can’t stand him because he rearley even acknowledges them. I’m so close to walking away but yet i still feel so far away from being brave enough to embrace the change.

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      If you don’t leave now then when will you? How much longer do you want to be treated like this and wasting your time with this person? Just go! Seriously….go. 10 years?? You want to live in misery another 10 years? 10 months? 10 weeks? 10 days? That’s too long. Pack your shit, close that door and throw away the key.

      Reply
  17. Jennifer Rivera

    Iam sorry I am going through it and its overbearing

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      It is and I’m sorry you are going through it. Find a way out xoxox

      Reply
  18. Lyn

    I am in the process of walking away after 6 yrs .. Promise me everything only to try and destroy me.. I lost my 27yr old son to a stroke on 4/02/20 two days after my son had passed he wanted to have sex, I told him I wasn’t in the mood and not to touch me , well you know how that eneded up , every name possible I was called , that went on for about 3 months , we get into a fight he takes my phone throws it into the lake , yes the phone is replaceable but it has my last voicemails my last text messages from my son just a few memories I had left, he tells me it was my fault for not backing those messages into my iCloud.. No it’s your fault you should of never touched my phone , and of course it was still my fault . I gained 30 lbs after my son passed away he oinks around me when I walk past he , the fat jokes never stop I am 5ft 6 in and I weight 165 lbs but to him I’m way beyond overweight. he only cares about himself, he has pushed all
    My friends and family away from me , but I refuse to let this man bring me down , I will pull out of this get back to where I need to be and live a fun healthy life once again

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Omg I’m so sorry for the loss of your son and that you have to live with THAT!!! I’m happy to hear you are leaving!! You go girl. I’m an email away if you ever need to talk xoxoxox

      Reply
  19. Misty

    I am in this exact situation, for 19 years. I am finally to the point in life where i am able to begin preparing to leave. My two oldest daughters are leaving home in the next few months and i will be left with my 11 yr old son in this mess. My daughters and I have put together a plan to get me out slowly and quietly once they are out of the home. He has abused us mentally and verbally everyday of our lives and i cannot face much longer here. I am very afraid of whether or not i will be able to provide for me and my son because i have never been allowed to work but for one year and it was underneath him as his employee. But God is showing me that im not doing this alone. I have family and friends that still care about me and that there is hope! Praise God, there is still hope for me!!

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      You go girl!!!!!!! God will make sure you are ok. I’m so proud of you!! xoxox

      Reply
  20. Tricia

    23 years later I wish I never met him! I feel like most of my life was consumed with his nonsense , lies , betrayal. I will never be the same. Always played the victim. Nothing I ever did was good enough. I have no confidence or self-esteem I hope I heal from this. It’s been three years and I’m still a mess

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      I’m so sorry you went through this. It certainly sucks the life out of us :(. If you go to my YouTube channel I think there are one or two videos in there that may be able to help you gain some confidence and self respect back! Here’s the link. Also you can email me if you need to chat! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCT9q79e_aSAE12F0e3YwEEg

      Reply
  21. EmilyO

    I just want to tell everyone here, as there is shared understanding, shared life- revoking horrors, a shared understanding of the demand to dig deep when we’ve already been in the depths of exhaustion and grief, all of you peaceful warriors who have felt alone in the universe or that felt the nightmare of realizing the layers of unknowingly loving again and again to those who don’t know what that is and used the greatest human trait, our love, as a weapon:
    Even if you don’t know it yet, I’m so proud of you, and I’m not the only one. You are stronger than most could understand, you have chosen to defy all attempts at corruption, and dessimation. You stood strong, even when it was too much to stand. We have been tasked with facing our deepest fears, and the brutal realization that we are able to withstand anything with only ourselves to depend on because that’s the biggest lesson I’ve ever known- that the only way to begin to live a productive or happy life is by realizing how incredibe I am to be where am and what I came from and before I even knew it, I have been there for me every step of the journey. No one could blame you for your struggles if they only knew them like you do. No one could deny your courage or strength if they understood what it has taken to get here. You do know these things because You are the only one who truly knows. If I or anyone else was the one with your story, you would certainly see these truths quite clearly. You are just as important and don’t buy the gimmick that you’re less. You got this far because you know more than anything, that love knows no bounds. I’m nkw able to love every toxic person who worked to apprehend everything of value in my life because they would never take my values or choice to love. I know that no punishment could come close to what they will do to themselves with their life by never letting themselves experience love. I continue to love them because. I may be the only person who ever has. I may love them, but I can only do that from afar and want nothing to do with their life as I’ll never again strive to martyr mine for such an unjust cause. I love so I don’t have to be burdened by the weight of them anymore and to do what I can and to accept what I do not have power over.
    Moreso, I don’t have to know you personally to know that I my for each and every one of you is profound and unending. I admire your accomplishments and story and my heart walks beside in every step you take. I’m grateful to do so because I’m lucky enough to have had the chance to learn who I do want to align myself with. Remember that learning your value and strength through setting healthy boundaries, you are setting a good example of what others can do for themselves if there’s nothing more you can do. Even if the truth and what we want are not able to merge, you, better than anyone, knows what to do once you get to know the true you once you learn to commit to learning what that means. You are the sole conductor to the work of art that is your life and the value of a book is not in the last pages, but in the pages before it that give the end meaning. Thanks for taking the time to read this.

    Reply
    1. Dotsy Jane Maher

      WOW! I needed that tonight..THANK YOU.

      Reply
      1. Iva Ursano

        Thank you for reading the narcissistic abuse quotes article. I hope they helped you and thank you for your kind words too!

        Reply
  22. Deborah West

    I have been through a succession of horrific ordeals for years by an antisocial and I sought solace by the man he tore me from. A man who, as it turns out was a covert, passive-aggressive narcissist.

    The former beat me for the sake of it, breaking at least four bones, and attempting to end my life on a few occasions. I was terrified for the first few years. After he did a stint in prison and afterward found me, I was no longer afraid. He had to go and the only way I could get rid of him on HIS terms to be assured it would work, was to treat him exactly the way he had me all those years before (except for the beatings). I was relentless and he finally grabbed the next supply and left.

    The latter was the one who irrevocably destroyed my life with astonishing intent and malice. I say irrevocably because I am terminally ill and have been all these years and both of them knew it. My life is nearly over and yet the only thing that consumes my mind is seeing the covert get what he deserves before it is. Better yet, me handing him his dessert. I’ve never been vengeful but now is the time.

    I tried to warn the antisocial’s new supply describing his every move to a T. Although she thanked me claiming I was right about it all, she goes back EVERY time. Insanity. He gave ME no choice.

    As for the coverts new supply? She is far too smitten to hear a word that I, the crazy ex, has to say. I can’t help her, but I intend to leave a footprint on his back for all to see.

    We have a duty to NOT be cowards in this chaos they have created. We have a duty to make them pay. What they do is criminal and it gets swept away like the garbage they made us feel like. We have to fight back. If we don’t start now, your daughters or granddaughters will most assuredly suffer the same abuses because these evil creatures are growing in numbers.

    Not doing anything is exactly what they wanted and expected us to do because they are the ones who wore us down or intimidated us into silence. It is wrong to do nothing when we know they will do everything to the next person.

    The only person worse than an abuser is the one who watches and does nothing to stop it.

    Reply
  23. Emily Kirk

    Omg. I have been sitting here reading these comments and it is such a relief to feel I am not the only one going through this hell. I left a narcissistic relationship of five years because I had enough I had been broken. But Low and behold my next narcissistic partner was waiting in the wings. When we started dating he was everything I had ever hoped for. But I didn’t catch the red flags. Before you know it I am being left places. I live in Massachusetts and my sick mom lived in Vermont. 3 times he just left me there. No warning no nothing. Just sent me a text telling me I broke him. Lol no reason given to me. But learned he had been seeing someone the whole time. Two days after he moves me out he moves her in. But as you know they can’t let you go. So he is stringing me along saying he made a mistake and I am the only one for him. He finally one day tossed the other out and moved me back in. And the last year has been an absolute hell. I was a mess. Lost my mom and was living with a psychotic narcissist who told me I was a horrible mother, daughter and just a horrible person. Everyday I had to listen to his “jokes” about me. I worked for him a bit and he would absolutely humiliate me in front of his other workers or his customers. I was expected to work with him. Come home and while he relaxed and did nothing I was expected to clean and cook and pick up behind him. I could never keep up because I had so much depression and anxiety I was barely holding it together. And on top of that it was expected that we have sex everynight. Im sure you can figure out how that worked out.
    For the last 3 months things have been the worst. I started reading and educating myself about narcissism. He is textbook. So he saw I was figuring it out. Started fighting for myself. ( You know that didn’t work) I started to not care anymore. I knew he would never change. So I was making a plan to leave. Idk but maybe he figured that out but two nights ago I got thrown out of my apartment. So I am on my journey of healing thanks to him. Already he sending texts like nothing happened. Not even going to respond. Im sorry if I am all over the place but I am a mess. I pray for all you ladies and men dealing with these cowardly people. We can recover.

    Reply
    1. Iva Ursano

      Do not ever go back to him no matter what!!!!!!!!

      Reply

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