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Dear Me, F*ck You-A Raw and Real Open Letter to Myself

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Last Updated on 1 year by Iva Ursano

It’s become time. Time to write an open letter to myself. I’ve hit enough walls now and I’m done being a doormat and thinking I’m no good. This letter waited long enough to be written. It’s so time.

Before we begin you need to know that my life isn’t perfect and I don’t have all the answers. I do the best I can with what I have and know and share what I’ve learned so others can improve their lives too.

I’m still learning and growing, just like you.

An open letter to myself.

Dear me:

Here we go. It’s that time. Time for an open letter to you. Pay attention.

F*ck you for thinking you are not worthy of greatness. Why on earth do you think that you deserve anything less? What the hell is the matter with you?

When are you going to start realizing that YOU are a perfect creation from the heavens here to live a brilliant life of true real unconditional love, not only from yourself but from others too?

When are you going to stop settling for “less than” and start realizing that you deserve “more than”? What are you hanging on to from the past that keeps you stuck living in mediocrity?

When are you going to let go of all the sh*t you were shown and taught in the past and start living in the true magnificence that you are?

Why do you keep lowering your standards? When are you going to raise the bar, draw that boundary line, hold your head up high and be epic?

(Oh how I so needed to write this open letter to myself. It’s so therapeutic!)

You truly are unique and perfect. You truly are beautiful and amazing. Why won’t you show that to people and why won’t you let people treat you like the amazing person you really are?

Did you forget you’re not a f*cking doormat? Did you forget that all that crap that happened in the past needs to stay there? It isn’t who you are today. You don’t live there anymore. The stuff from the past strengthened you and taught you how not to be.

When did you forget that?

The people in your life who treat you “less than”, why are they still in your life? Why are you hanging on to them? They don’t serve you at all (or deserve you). They don’t see your greatness and only want to keep you average.

They don’t want you to be greater than they are. They love to chop you up and cut you down to their level.

You’re not average. You are far from average.

an open letter to myselfPin

You are magnificent, beautiful, and amazing

Stop being afraid to shine your beautiful bright light to the world for all to see. Stop being sheepish and submissive. You certainly know all the greatness inside of you.

You feel it all the time. You know it’s there yet you still bury it and are afraid to live it.

Stop doing that. There’s nothing wrong or egotistical about showing off the true beauty of you. The world doesn’t want you to hold that in. The world desperately wants to see it, feel it, enjoy it, and experience it with you.

You are magnificent, beautiful, and amazingPin

The world needs more healers, helpers, and lovers and that’s what you are, YET you still hide it and conform to others’ demands of you so as to not upset anyone.

If anyone is upset by how absolutely amazing you are, then they need to go. Get rid of them, Dump them now.

Hey me, f*ck you for letting all those fears, insecurities, and limiting beliefs from your past keep you back from the true love and brilliant life you deserve. You know those are yesterday’s stories, why do they still live in today? You don’t live back there anymore, in yesterday.

I should have written this open letter to myself much sooner!!!

You learned all the lessons, didn’t you? Didn’t you?? You know that most of everything you were programmed to believe is all lies. You know that! Lies.

You are good enough.

You are smart enough.

You are beautiful enough.

You are special and amazing enough.

When did you forget that? All those people that walked all over you and treated you like garbage, remember all those jerks? They wanted to keep you at their low level. They didn’t want you to grow or expand or be awesome. They wanted to keep you sad, little, worthless, and afraid. (Bullies do that.)

You’re not there anymore and you’re not that person anymore.

Hey me, f*ck you. Smarten up. Show the world who you really are. Show the world your true magnificence but most of all, show yourself some love for God’s sake.

Love who you are.

Love your journey.

Love the beautiful soul you are.

Love yourself more than anything else in the world.

When you do that, you show others how to love you too.

Stop settling for less.

Dear me, f*ck you and your limiting beliefs. Live the life you deserve, the love person you are. Be fierce. Don’t let anyone or anything stand in your way. Smash blocks, bust down walls, live out loud.

I love you. You can do big and great things. You deserve everything you want!

Love, me xoxo

What is the purpose of an open letter to myself anyway?

I’m a huge advocate for writing out your feelings. I believe that when we write out our pain, it then is no longer inside of us, eating at us and weighing us down.

Too often we hold things inside until we explode. That is SO unhealthy and completely harmful to you and the people around you. I don’t know why people bottle up their emotions like that when it’s so easy to get them all out, by writing them out!

What is the purpose of an open letter to myself anyway?Pin

Now this open letter to myself is to me for me to boost my self-confidence and self-esteem. I can actually say that this can help with self-improvement too! But there are other open letters you can and should write too.

Have a look at this one. It’s an open letter to all who have hurt me. I call these types of letters ‘forgiveness letters’ or ‘truth letters’. Also very therapeutic.

An Open Letter To All Who Have Hurt Me

You might really enjoy this YouTube video from my new channel about how to believe in yourself and love yourself more. Don’t forget to click the subscribe button while you’re there too!

How do I write an open letter to myself?

That’s actually a really good question. The actual act of sitting yourself down and writing out your letter. I always tell people to try to find a quiet spot where you know you won’t be disturbed, turn on some really soft music (or not), light some candles, and just start writing.

There’s a method called automatic writing where you just let your hand go crazy as it connects to your thoughts in your mind. I know, sounds wonky, but it works.

Start writing. All of it. Don’t leave anything out. Just keep writing. And when you are done you should be destroying your letter (if it’s a truth/forgiveness letter).

Then I need you to clear the energy in the room. It’s really heavy right now. Open windows if you can, spray lavender spritzer, burn a sage smudge stick.

Happy letter writing!

Hey me, I’m sorry, I love you, I forgive you.

If you’re still struggling to find self love and live your best damn life, check out my mini self help eBook series. An ebook for whatever you are going through. Click here or the image below to see what books are on the shelf!

self help ebooks for women-an open letter to myself blogPin

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    1. Thanx Clive! Glad you enjoyed it. It was very liberating and therapeutic to write ;)

      much love
      xo iva ox

    2. Thank you for this real grown woman letter! I’ll be sure to share with my girls that need this

  1. Oh my god…. this is been my life .. thank you . It’s hit home and going to print it read every day till I start being myself not afraid show it . Thank you

    1. Thank YOU Rosemary. Glad it resonated with you!

      much love
      xo iva xo

  2. My, My, My
    I sure feel good tonight?
    I needed this letter? to myself
    Thank you thank you thank you
    It so resonated within
    I am so ready to go conquer with love
    I am so filled with light?
    I am ready to dance?
    I am ready to exude this brand new me
    Lord keep me humble and noble
    My journey has just begun
    All is well
    Body, Mind and Soul
    All is well?

      1. Hi my name is Luis and I’m a boxer from Oxnard CA, I love your open letter to my self you hit the truth spot. Man oh man Do I allow all that negativity, when I should be valuating my self more than anyone… Thank you be safe

  3. Hi Iva–
    Wow! I needed to hear that today! Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost the sense that I could do anything. I let other people’s opinions color my perception of myself and diminish my dreams. I love what you’ve written here–just the kick in the pants I needed to wake up and start kicking ass again!


    1. Hey Anne thanx for the comment and glad you liked the blog. I think we all get to that place sometimes where we’re just not worthy and nothing we do is good enough. I actually had a friend tell me I needed to write this letter to myself…so I did..and I shared. :)

      much love
      xo iva xo

  4. What an amazing letter? It’s about time we should tell ourselves to go eff ourselves, that negative little voice in the back of your head that tells you to stay complacent and you will never be more than what you are right now! Thanks for the butt kicking!

  5. Great post! It made me feel good! Everybody should write such a letter to his or herself because it is important to know how good we are and to recognize it.

    1. Thank you Emmanuelle. I write myself letters like this about twice a year.. a kick in the bum so to speak ;) …xoxo

  6. A letter that we all need to write ourselves every so often since we tend to forget. It’s real.

    1. Thanx for stopping by Victoria and glad you like it!! xoxoxo

    1. Yes we do and we are and we need to remind ourselves we’re awesome!! Thanx for your comment Jennifer! xoxox

  7. I needed to read something like this today! Thank you so much for writing and sharing such an empowering letter.

  8. Brilliant idea! I think this is a letter I would write to myself…..semi-pep talk and semi-scolding. Thank you for being so raw and honest!

    1. Yup sometimes we need to yell at ourselves too!! Thank you so much xoxox

  9. It is probably the most important thing in life – to love yourself and believe that you are unique and special. If everyone on Earth does that, it will be a beautiful and harmonious world.

    1. Oh wouldn’t it be such a beautiful world Basundhara? xoxo

  10. Thanks for the constant reminder to ignore those naysayers who are there to destroy our self confidence! We should always dare to dream big and work towards our goals :) Lovely piece!

    1. Thanx so much Nathan. Yes it’s so important to stay strong and stand tall!! ..xoxox

  11. Thank you – I needed to read this, this morning. We always need a reminder to be less hard on ourselves and to appreciate ourselves.

    1. Thanx Kelly glad it came to you at the right time xoxox

    1. Teehee!! Thanx Sonali, glad you liked it! It was fun to write xoxo

  12. Epic as always. You have a way of making people feel great, keep up the amazing work.

  13. OMG, I LOVE THIS!! I really needed this! I’m going to make sure I share this.

    1. Thank you so much Jonia I appreciate you xoxoxo

  14. That’s an aggressive yet pretty effective way to make not only yourself, but the rest of us, appreciate ourselves even more. You rock love.

    1. Ha yup it sure is! Thanx for stopping by Niki, glad you liked the letter xoxox

  15. Absolutely agree , that you need to give yourself a pep talk, treat yourself, love yourself , have the self confidence and give yourself a tap on the back always. I me myself… should always be the top 3 favourite ppl in your life. Loved the note

    1. Thanx Karishma and yes we do need pep talks to ourselves!! xoxo

  16. My oh my!
    Iva i’m so grateful to you, for sharing this peice here
    this is my story, this is my letter. going through it over and over again. I LOVE YOU!

  17. Wow. I’m so glad to have read this. The title caught my attention and your words captured my mind and heart. Thanks for being such a wonderful teacher. Have a beautiful day, Iva:)

  18. My life for the past 9 years. I’m over it time to take back my life…thank you so very much… Blessings

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