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The Single Life-The Struggle Between Happiness and Loneliness

Last Updated on 2 years by Iva Ursano

I’m single and in all honesty, for the most part, I enjoy it. Really I do. After 30+ years of messed up relationships and having to take care of kids and parents and partners, I’m done. Pretty much done. Like, this whole single life and living alone thing, I’m really really lovin’. I am.

For the most part, happiness found center stage in my life. But, living the single life isn’t always a barrel of laughs either. Loneliness creeps in sometimes.

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The best part of the single life-happiness! Freedom!

Oh there are so many things that make me happy living the single life. So many in fact I would probably have to write a book about it.

First and foremost, I get the whole damn bed to myself every nite!! Yes this is an exciting part but you’re probably thinking there has got to be better perks than that. Why did this perk make the top of the list?

Because I was tormented almost every night by a narcissistic jerk who made sure when we went to sleep I dare not move a muscle or breath/cough or sneeze the wrong way because I would be yelled at, belittled and bullied.

So, ya, sleeping alone is sheer bliss and it has been every single nite since I left him. Lemme tell ya, loneliness doesn’t cross my mind once here.

Another good part is that you can just up and go do whatever you want at the drop of a hat not having to worry about someone else. Not having to answer to anyone also is really blissful.

Anyway I think all the single people reading this get this. I don’t need to go on and on.

Single life pros:

  • do what you want when you want
  • eat what you want when you want
  • you don’t have to answer to anyone ever
  • you’re a free bird
  • date whoever you want when you want
  • can you see the pattern here?
  • it’s all about you and your happiness

Now I get that those in a beautiful trusting relationship don’t have to worry about doing what they want because they can. Their partner will allow them to do. I have never been in one of those relationships.

I don’t know what that feels like. Many of us don’t. Which is probably why the single life suits us just fine.

The not so good part about the single life-loneliness

Again, there are many things that aren’t so good about being single. I could probably write a book about that too (and why haven’t I written a book yet anyway?).

I miss the random texts from a special someone that just lets me know they are thinking of me.

I miss holding hands while walking by the lake. I miss someone saying “pack a bag let’s go on a road trip” (oh how I miss road trips, even on my own).

I miss cuddling at night with a special someone, having arms wrapped around me so tight that I know, without a shadow of  doubt, there will be no harm come to me, right then and there.

I miss forehead kisses, oh how I miss those.

Those are some of the most important ones to me. Those are the sweet gentle times I love and miss. I definitely feel loneliness creep in then.

These are things I am now finding myself thinking about more than I used to. I am craving them now. Longing for them.

Single life cons:

  • no dates for special events
  • no forehead kisses at nite
  • no sweet love texts from a special person
  • no hand holding and walking by the beach
  • no romantic picnics

You get the idea. You miss out, or I should say, I miss a lot of those things. I miss random texts. I miss hand holding. The sweet loving romantic things.

But maybe I’m tired of being single?

Lately it seems, I feel lonely more than I think I should. I really do love my own company and I’m quite content running my own life, doing my own thing and not having to answer to anyone. I mean, those are just a few of the things that make my single life sweet.

But I feel like time is going by fast and more often than not I’m feeling alone and kinda do want some companionship. I feel some days that maybe I’m tired of being single and really do want someone in my life.

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The struggles of the single life

Ok, so I really love being single. We established that. I also really miss being with someone special. We established that too. So where do you go from here?

No, really, I’m asking you. Where DO we go from here? Honestly, I have no clue.

It’s like you really want something but then you think “nah, I don’t really want it that bad”. But then you get into one of those lonely funks and you think “oh crap, here we go”. The struggle is real. (or…is that just me?)

So do we solicit ourselves on some crappy online dating site to see what we can snag? Is that where we go from here? Test it out, date one or two, see if we like it.

See if we are ready to do this? You know, kill the lonely bug?


Do I just let life unfold, knowing the Universe is watching and listening to me every step of the way. Reassuring me that she knows exactly what she’s doing and I just need to be patient and chill out.

Maybe I just need to chill out and let whatever happens happen. Just roll with life. Enjoy it minute by minute, day by day.

Just be happy and radiate love wherever you go.

You know, I find great joy and love in my friends and I get tons of affection from the kids in the laneway (ok, I know it’s because they only want candy but really, it’s awesome!). I mean I’m not completely without love and affection. It’s all around me.

and besides, I sure do love being single, but…..

Your Turn

I would love to hear from the single peeps to find out what your take is on the whole single vs in a relationship (and of course, I’m referring to a healthy relationship) How many of you are still ridiculously happy being single and rarely get lonely? How many of you are ready for that someone?

Peace and Love


Leave your vote

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  1. I love being single……..I am a widow and my husband died 7 years ago. Yes I miss him terribly but I have also had bad relationships. I love pleasing myself, holidaying myself and not having to worry about someone else’s sensibilities or permission. I have wonderful friends who buoy me up and talk sense to me and are honest with me. I have finally got my shut together. The down side……what if I am unwell……who is there for me then?

    1. There are definitely pros and cons Morven. Thanx for your comment and your story xo


  2. Well, sex, you know. I long for intimacy. Self-pleasuring hasn’t living up to par, and that’s all I did. I long sleep next to someone who would hold me. I’ve been living on my own since I was 19, I went out on so many dates. While I hold no standard to any men, still haven’t found one who is patient with me or wait for me. My trust have been broken since I was a kid. Here I am 40 years old, single, still looking.

    1. Oh I get that Diana. Trust certainly does take time. I hope that one day you will find the right one for you xoxo

  3. I just love your blog. Such interesting topics that I seem to be able to relate to in my life. I have been single for a very long time and believe you should just let life unfold and eventually the right person will come along when you are ready for that relationship. Thank you Iva

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