My name is Iva and I used to be a mean girl. There I said it. You know, nothing changes if nothing changes, right? How many times have you yelled out at your spouse or partner or child “You’ll never change!!”? Chances are, if you keep shouting that to them, one of two things are going to happen.
- they won’t change just to irritate you off OR
- they will change just to show you they can (which also may piss them off, people are funny really)
I hear this statement all the time. He’ll never change, she’ll never change, nothing ever changes, this life will always be like this. Being a mean girl was a life changer for me.
Well, you can say that until the cows come home but I’m here to tell ya something that might be quite shocking. People DO change. Really. It’s crazy, I know right?
25 years ago, I was a mean girl.
Let’s go back in time just a wee bit. Ok so 25 years is a long time but this time frame is important so you can understand where I’m coming from. 25 years ago I was a greedy selfish rude b***h. Can you even believe that? I look back now and I’m surprised no one slapped me back then. I wasn’t a very nice person at all.
I wouldn’t do anything for anybody if there was no gain in it for me. Forget it. Do it yourself. If I had to do something for someone and didn’t get anything in return I would go on and on about it making sure everyone heard me talk about how horrible these people were.
“As if I did all that for them and got nothing in return! I’ll never do anything for them again!”
Yup, that was me. Pretty sickening isn’t it? I was the best at being a mean girl.
It didn’t stop there though. Nope, it was much worse than that. If I had something that you didn’t have or wanted, slim chance I was sharing it with YOU. Not a chance in Hell. Get your own. Oh you can’t afford it? Sucks to be you I guess huh? Oh ya, I was a nasty. I’m sure many called me horrible names, much worse than that. I deserved them all.
Oh and how I gossiped and judged. Omg did you see what she was wearing? Good grief what’s up with that hair of hers? My God he stinks. Oh this went on and on. There was very little love in my heart and soul. I really was just a mean girl. Even to my family. I was just a mean girl. How horrible, really.
Show me the love
So where was the love? Why was I so angry and mean and selfish and greedy? Why? Honestly to this day, I still have no clue. I just was. I desperately wanted to be liked and loved and accepted and I always wanted to be the centre of attention (mind you I’m sure that’s the Libra in me) I wanted to show everybody I had it all and I was the cream of the crop. I wasn’t.
As I got older and acquired many “things” and lost many “things” I slowly started opening my eyes to this thing called life. I also started to realize that I wasn’t all that and a bag of chips. I was nothing. I had nothing. I even hated me.
All I wanted was love. I desperately just wanted someone, anyone to love me. What happened was that I ended up having none and didn’t even like myself.
Something had to change
Something someone some way…changes needed to be made. I was living a sad miserable existence. I didn’t even have two cents to rub together. I had no love, no money, no more things, no joy. Nudda. I had absolutely nothing. I was alone and lonely. Desperate and frustrated. Fed up and lost.
And that was the best thing ever that could have happened to me. I hit rock bottom and the only way was up. Well something had to give right? Turns out that something was me. And boy did I change. I barely recognize myself. If you knew me 25 years ago, heck even 15 years ago, you wouldn’t even know who that girl was.
Yes, people change.
I devoured self help books, I listened to powerful mp3’s on changing your mind and your life. I watched Dr. Wayne, I focused on Tony Robbins, I read and read and read. And I cried. A lot. This girl was going to do whatever it took to become a better person. I so desperately just wanted to be a good person. A better person. A more likable person. I would listen to people around me talking, the nice people, and I kept thinking to myself “awe she’s so nice! I can be like her too!”
Years and years of work, and I’m finally there. Well, in all honesty, we never stop working on ourselves, or you really shouldn’t anyway. So I’m a good person today and tomorrow I may be even better and the next day better than tomorrow and so on and so on. I will just keep improving every single day.
I love who I am today. I am lovable and likable. I am caring and giving and fun and optimistic. I hold no judgement and speak as much love as I can. I’m not perfect. Every now and then some ugly little green monster shows up in my head or heart and I gotta boot his butt out. Still work to do, but we are all a work in progress.
What fun it is, really!
If you have someone in your life who kinda sounds like the girl I used to be, don’t give up. There’s hope. People do change. Of course they have to want to. I didn’t want to or even give it any thought whatsoever until I hit bottom. But yes, some of us do really grow up. Sometimes we have to hit bottom for that to happen but that’s ok. We come out SO much better.
There’s hope for those jerks after all. Until then, just ignore them and send them love. That’s all they really want anyway.
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Peace and Love
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