Breaking up sucks. Losing a job sucks. Falling out with a friend sucks. Really, anything that makes our heart sad, just sucks. I’m no stranger to heartbreak. I’ve lost businesses, money, friends, relationships, jobs, you name it, it’s gone.
Now I’m not telling you this to make you feel sorry for me. Oh hell no. I don’t even feel sorry for me. I had what I had and now it’s gone. C’est la vie. I’ll tell you though, immediately after the loss, the heartbreak is almost crippling, ammirite?
I can’t even count how many times I’ve curled up in a ball on the floor and sobbed my eyes out hoping the end would come soon. Yup. I have. I’m sure many of you have as well. Thank God we don’t we stay there, right? Phew.
So how do we love and honour ourselves again after a big heartache or let down? How can we soften the blow or better yet, help to shorten the time we mourn?
I’m all about self love and I believe that the more we love ourselves the easier it is to get over hurts. Here are 5 simple self love tips that have gotten me through the worst of times in my life. I hope some of them will help you too, either now or in the future.
With yourself. Take yourself to a movie or a coffee house or for dinner or wherever but go out. By yourself and though some may argue and say this is depressing, trust me, it’s not. It’s actually very therapeutic. Why? Because you get to do some serious self reflection and it is during this time you will discover that you really are amazing and you are going to be ok. You’ll see. Put on your sparkly earrings, your favourite dress and get out of the house. You never know who you may meet while you’re out!
When was the last time you treated yourself to flowers and honestly, who doesn’t love a fresh bouquet on their dining room table? If you can’t really afford to treat yourself to a beautiful arrangement from the florist then go out into the fields and pick some flowers there! Flowers have the ability to cheer anybody up in two seconds. A joy that can last up to two weeks really!
What’s on your bookshelf?
Haven’t read a book in a long long long time? Well maybe now’s the time. Doesn’t have to be a romance novel unless that’s your thing. I prefer to read self help or motivational stuff and usually on my iPad. When was the last time you sat in your cozy chair or curled up in bed with a good book and a nice cup of tea? Might be time. It will certainly take your mind off of things and shorten the mourning time.
Dear Me, I love you.
Love letter anyone? Have you ever written yourself a love letter? This is probably the most heartwarming and beautiful thing you could ever do for yourself. I love doing this and do it often. Write a letter to yourself telling yourself how much you love you and how awesome you are and amazing and all that other good gushy stuff. Pour it on thick. No holds barred. Write for as long as you want. Then read it back to yourself. You’re gonna wanna marry yourself after this one!
Accept, Acknowledge and Release
You’re not perfect. Nothing is permanent. Not everything works out the way we imagine it in our minds. The sooner you realize and remember this, the sooner you will heal. Remind yourself that no matter what happened, it happened for a reason. There was a lesson to be learned. Don’t beat yourself up over whatever happened. It’s not your fault. Acknowledge that too. You’re not perfect. We are all still growing and learning. Bless and learn the lesson, love yourself for growing stronger and wiser.
And release it. Do this as often as you have to.
Too many times we find fault in ourselves when things go wrong. We are not to blame. Things just happen. Life happens. We don’t have control over everything but we can control our emotions and reactions to things. Remember, it’s definitely ok to cry and break down, we need to do that. Just don’t stay there.
Dear Me, I love you. You’re awesome.
Peace and Love