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5 Strong Character Traits That Are Intimidating to People

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Last Updated on 1 year by Iva Ursano

Do you ever wonder why some people gravitate towards you and others seem to be repelled by you? Could be you just have strong character traits and you are actually quite intimidating to some people.

Yup. You sure can be. But what did you do? What did you miss? There are many people who have very strong character traits.

There are many people who have very strong character traitsPin

These traits could put a lot of people off. I know, it’s weird.

I mean we all have unique and different personality traits that make up who we are, right? But sometimes ours are just too strong for others!

Often you’re left wondering, well what exactly did I do? What did I say? Why don’t they like me? What happened? I used to be wonder all the time until someone just came right out and said “hey Iva you just have really strong character traits that are kinda intimidating”. 

Me? Intimidating? Weird. 

Ok, so maybe I do have an intimidating personality

Well, in all honesty, and in my opinion, I guess I do have a rather intimidating personality. But not all the time. I mean some days I’m pretty low key and stay chill.

Other days my strong personality comes out full tilt, balls to the wall and I couldn’t care less who gets intimidated or not. I don’t say that in a mean way. I’m just not about changing who I am so I don’t offend or intimidate people. 

Neither should you. 

So many of us don’t realize that we actually do have strong personality traits. It’s just who we are.

And some people took a lot of crap their entire lives and became strong! They got tired of people walking all over them and treating them like crap.

If you still need to learn how to form boundary lines so people will treat you better, you might really enjoy this eBook from my self help book mini series You Are Amazing. Click here or the image below to grab your copy now. 

how to set boundaries self help bookPin

You might also enjoy these bad**s quotes blogs to remind you how awesome you are!

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Some signs you are intimidating

I think a lot of over confident people have no idea they have strong personality traits AND that people are intimidated by them. I mean, I had no idea at all. I just thought everyone loved my optimism and ballsiness (I just made that word up). 

Apparently such is not the case. 

Some signs you are intimidatingPin

Some signs that you are intimidating are:

  • people don’t talk to you at events and gatherings
  • people walk away when you start talking
  • people argue with you constantly
  • people get defensive around you
  • you may even get bullied a little
  • people talk about you behind your back (but then that happens to all of us)

Do you ever notice any of these things happen to you? You may have an intimidating personality then. Don’t feel bad. So many of us do. 

Having a strong intimidating personality is weird

When I first found out people were intimidated by me I was like, “wait, whoa, why”? This made no sense to me. It actually made me feel awkward.

I didn’t change anything because of that, I just felt weird. 

But then I realize there are some people who actually intimidate me. Like I gave them a larger than life persona, attached a label to them and they became intimidating to me. 

I know, again, weird. 

5 strong character traits that are intimidating to others

1 Standing Tall

You walk around with your head held high but not like some ‘stuck up chick held high’ more like a super self confidence high. Your shoulders are back, your walk is one of complete pride and self confidence.

Standing TallPin

People will judge you and snub their nose at you but they do this in fear. Some people are really afraid and intimidated by super self confident people. You also have no problem standing up for what you believe in. You won’t back down and won’t agree with everyone just to be part of the crowd.

Nope, you’re no follower.

2 Talk with assuredness

Aka, confidence (I know, there’s that word again). You look directly in their eyes while speak to them and you know exactly what you’re talking about. You have a unique assertiveness in your tone and your demeanor. You can hold up your end of a good conversation.

Talk with assurednessPin

An outsider looking in will be afraid of you. They may even think you are too smart for them. Yup. This is one of the character traits that really puts people off.

This is also one of the characteristics of a leader and people don’t want you to be a leader. They want you to be a sheep just like them and follow.

3 You are yourself

You dress the way you want, wear your hair the way you want, do things how you want, and pretty much are just a free-spirited free bird. Funny thing is, that actually scares people. I know I don’t get it either.

You are yourselfPin

When we live outside of the box or the “norm”, people will stare and point fingers and maybe even gasp. Let ’em. Many of us are afraid of what we don’t understand and we are also slightly afraid, or should I say borderline jealous, of people who don’t conform.

Oh how we’d all like to be like them.

4 You are successful

Not everyone is going to admire you for that. Not everyone is going to think you’re awesome because of that. There are going to be the few select that will snub you because they feel inferior or jealous (ha! there’s that word again) and quite honestly, will be afraid of you.

You are successfulPin

Successful people, still to this day, kinda freak me out. Even I feel a little intimidated by the super successful person. I still think they must be smarter than me and *how can I carry on a conversation with them and what on earth would I talk about with this person and oh dear I better just stay away*.

Yup. I still think like that at times.

5 Don’t put up with weak-minded people

The ones who gossip, judge, point fingers, talk sh*t, the negative Nancy’s, need I go on? The ones who complain about everything in their life but never do anything to change it. 

Don't put up with weak-minded peoplePin

The weak minded people aren’t forward thinkers nor are they open minded or all accepting of others. We’ll call you out on your crap and then walk away.

We don’t got time for childish behaviour. 

Do you have any of these strong character traits? 

Do you? Yay if you do!!

Now of course, if you know me, you will know that I am going to tell you to NOT stop doing any of these things just because you are scaring people away. By all means, keep being the confident, assertive amazing person that you are. Keep being you.

You did whatever it took to get you to where you are now. Kudos!

These strong personality traits, in my eyes, are not so easy to come by. Many of us had to fight to be the people we are today. None of it came without battles and challenges.

And then of course, you will find your tribe. You will. The right people, your tribe people, will love you and appreciate you for you. They won’t be scared of you at all. You’ll just be one of them. A tribe peep. Stay close to them.

Those are the ones who count.

“Wait, don’t run away, I’m a fun person, honest I am.”

Peace and Love


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  1. When I went “all in” being this way fully, with everyone all the time it changed my life. It cost me many people, including most of my family, but I grew tired of hearing from them how weird I was, how crazy, different, wrong. Blah blah yank. I’d always been unapologetic about my true self to the world, but never with my family. I lost my dad and decided screw it. I’ll never fit in with them. They’ll always judge me. I live a very odd life, but it suits me. I learned I’m not hard to love… I’m hard to shove into a mold. My days of explaining, longing, apologizing are over. I’m hard enough on myself, I don’t need anyone helping me out. So, now they can judge what they don’t know (me) from a distance and I’m sad for them…. Cause I’m flawed but my capacity to love kicks major BUTT.

  2. THIS!!! I was given negative feedback recently by someone who said that I had a ‘great sense of self worth’, very confident and think I am more important that I am. I was taken a back because I am not someone who is arrogant, I am just myself. Nor do I hold myself to a higher standard than others. I have a clean heart. I told the feedback so hard and felt I had to make myself small to make people feel more confident and less intimidated. My dad reassured me that this was infact TOXIC feedback. People reflect how they feel about themselves onto others. My friend wanted to sum my light to make herself feel more important. It was disgusting feedback that aimed to diminish me. I am glad I found your post as it has motivated me to stop doubting myself/make myself small and just continue to be myself. People will always have an opinion and like youve said, “you will find your tribe”. Thank you So Much for this post. Xxxxxx

    1. Thank you for sharing your story! Never doubt your worth!! xoxo

    2. I get that from a lot of people as well. They don’t like to see people mightier than they are. They’ll make every attempt to belittle you in direct ways and passive ways.

  3. I’m Kennedy,

    Quite assuredly, this is the kind of post I’ve been looking for. My heart is impressed by the oozing confidence in your words.
    A point reached in my life where my confidence was and still scares people away. I’m just 22, but even 30 to 50 year olds feel intimidated by my great sense of confidence. Like you said, I took a lot of time to built this concrete personality just because of the lack of affection I faced during my childhood days. I’m glad you even inspired me more. I will forever be who I am.

    Thanks a lot.

  4. I use to wonder why I would get ostracized, why people always try to take a passive jab at me, why they underestimate me, talk down on me, spread false rumors about me, try to intimidate me; it is their way of trying to chop me down, so they stand taller than I. Throughout my whole life, I’ve been content in my own mind and I use to get bullied by not only my peers, but by my elementary teachers because I enjoyed delving in my own thoughts, and not fit in with the social mold. I came to the conclusion that I’m on a different channel than general society, and there are few people in that tier that I get along with. People hate me for who I am, even though I never wronged them, and I make a strong attempts to be kind, but it is never good enough. As far as envy is concerned, I never understood why people behave this way. The more I meet people, the more I want to stay away from them. I was once popular, I saw all of the ugliness in people’s character and how they hate you for not only the goods that you have, but also your character. They don’t want someone to be better than them. They don’t understand that they don’t necessarily need to outcompete another individual; all they have to do it find their unique niche and be the best at it; variety is the spice of life. This article confirmed my belief that it is my strong personality that repels people, and there is no way that I am going to deliberately weaken my character to befriend general society.

    1. So much this. Thanx for your thoughts on this John! xoxo

  5. The “keeping up with the Jones’s” folk who are always looking outside of themselves like competition with people who don’t know them, don’t like them & don’t trust them. They are very easily intimidated. Usually these types are loud and flamboyant and their main aim is to fit in with the masses. They are also copy cats. Conversations they start will include untrue gossip, the weather, football and other sports. They usually have “S” in their Myers Briggs Type as opposed to “N” and the louder and more attention seeking they are the more I will ignore and avoid them. They should look inside instead of outward so much as that is a better way. They are wasting their energy and lack self-awareness. These are the fools that go into debt to try and one-up a stranger and are often braggarts. Not bragging is intimidating to them. Letting them talk and observing them is intimidating to them. Sitting out back reading a book is intimidating to them. They are intimidated very easily when you don’t play their game. I set my own game and do it ethically. I am not out to offend them and they are not in my social circle and who cares what they think if I don’t have any business dealings with them. Not caring about doing what everyone else does or not appearing to give a Rat’s, from their perspective, is also intimidating (some people have admitted this to me and they resent it). My neighbor told me that it is expected I water my lawn (even if it rains) and if the grass is green. I let him know that won’t happen. He told me you will water it three times a week and I again said no to his request. He said ah, you’ll give in, you will. I now ignore him. The people that had our place before us had an immaculate lawn but also lost the house due to not making payments! By all means if you value a perfect lawn and can afford it go for it. I guess not complying with others goofy expectations, minding my own business and keeping my life in order of what I believe is actually important is going against a social norm. I have had people say I think I am above them for setting my own goals or I have heard this was said behind my back from others. Passive aggressive comments and jabs are commonplace with the jealous and intimidated types. They want you to be uncomfortable and resent you don’t play their game. A repairman came over today and bragged about his wealth and investments and then a few minutes later told me he was denied credit from a bank and is having trouble getting a loan that he needs. He criticized my show cars (paid for in cash) that were behind the garage door he was repairing and all of a sudden the price went up for the repair. Go figure. I said classic cars are not for everyone and to each his own….I refused to argue or defend how I live and what I value even though he was pressing me to defend my lifestyle. He sarcastically said “it must be nice” as well as other negative comments. I never said anything offensive to him and was nice, but that wasn’t enough. I let him know he did a good job on the repair and thanked him. The guy couldn’t even look me in the eye by the time he left.

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