Dear God. Just wanted to pop in real quick and send you a letter about some things that have been on my mind lately. I probably don’t express my feelings to you as much as I should. I really am better at letter writing than verbalizing. Ask any ex boyfriend. Oh but you already knew that.
So I just want to say, way to go. Thanx for never letting me down and always being there for me. Thanx for protecting me from danger, and sometimes from myself.
Remember that time….
That time that I was sure I was on the right path with my work but you continuously nudged me to try to show me to let go.You kept whispering in my ear to trust you but I ignored it until one day you didn’t whisper anymore, you practically shouted and I finally smartened up. Thanx God! Way to go! You see, sometimes I need more than one nudge. Many of us do.
And then there was that time I hung on to that horrible relationship because it was the only love I knew and I couldn’t let go. I prayed to you to just comfort me, and you did, but I know you desperately wanted me to open my eyes and get the heck out of there. It took almost 8 years of ignoring your messages but I finally left. Thanx God! I bet you were real proud of me then finally, yes? I was super proud of me too.
Dear God, I sure need you now
Then when I finally left that relationship you were right there beside me. I know this to be true because the way my life unfolded after I left had your name written all over it. Doors blew wide open for me. Opportunities I never knew existed landed on my doorstep and loving people showed up to help. All thanx to you! Way to go God. High 5 on that one!
And then there was the time I took a leap of faith, sold and donated all 53 years of my life and bought a one way ticket to Guatemala, solo. There is no way I could have done that without you. Nope, not a chance. And let me tell you, I sure needed you then too! I was scared out of my mind. Phew. Thanx for sticking with me on that one. We made it.
And then this happened…
I took a step back one day and looked at my life. All of it. Right from my abusive upbringing, to the horrible relationships and all the people who hurt me. Many would ask, where was God then? I get that. Many don’t believe you were there with them when they had to go through all that horrible stuff. I didn’t see you then either but here it is, 55 years later and I see now that, yes for sure, you were there.
You were protecting me and loving me and comforting me. That’s all you could do and I totally get that. At one point in my life I wasn’t so sure you were there either. I even stopped going to visit you for awhile. I really didn’t like you. Sorry.
But I can see now, all these years later, you were with me, helping me grow to the loving, caring and warm person I am today. You chose me because you knew I’d speak my truth and use my voice to help others who are struggling with life. You chose me because you knew that I would not let you down in helping people around the world.
Way to go! Thanx for always being there for me. Though I talk to you often throughout the day and now go to visit you a few times a week at the local church I really just wanted to write out my heartfelt appreciation for you being with me all the time. I see you now. I feel you now.
But before I sign off I really just want to say sorry for all the shitty things I do, like cursing like a sailor and smoking weed and even drinking more than I should sometimes (though not very often) I know none of these are God like actions. It’s just me being me. I know I’m not perfect nor will I ever be, but know that my love for you is.
Without you, I am nothing. Love you!
Peace and Love