Last Updated on 1 year by Iva Ursano
Each and every one of us have toxic people in our lives. These time vampires can suck the life out of you. I’m going to share how to deal with negative people and the 6 different types you should avoid.
First of all I want to say that I get that some of these negative people just happen to be family members. I feel ya. Most of my family members are toxic and negative. Oy. My saving grace now is that I live in a different country and I rarely see them anymore.
Now I’m not saying you should move to a new country…but…if you can, well..haha!!
But let’s say you have a friend or a coworker/family member/neighbour/etc that you keep hanging around. You know you should dump them or at the very least, limit your time with them, but you don’t.
You just keep hanging around and the longer you hang around the more you realize you’ve become just as toxic as them!! You know you want to dump them. You know you can’t stand visiting or hanging out but you still do and you do nothing to change it.
But it can be hard to know how to deal with negative people especially if you hate confrontation or are a people pleaser.
But these negative people stay in our lives
Fast forward a few weeks, months, years later and these negative people are still in our lives. Why? Because now we almost feel trapped and we just can’t break away. Do yourself a favour. Break away. Now.
Many of us think toxic behaviour is physical violence, verbal abuse or any other kind of lashing out like that. But there’s more to it than that.
These people are more than just that. They have such negative thoughts, all the time and they do hurtful things to others.
Here is my list of some of the negative traits that I think you should steer clear of, especially in a relationship. If your partner is doing any of these things, and counselling is out of the question, it’s time to go.
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How to deal with negative people
Here is a list of 6 types of negative people to avoid and how to avoid them.
This is a big no no and very toxic behavior. In my personal experience, controllers almost always have no control over their own life and blame others for everything that is wrong. Because of this, they need to control others as it gives them some sense of accomplishment.
Don’t let anyone control you, ever. This is your life, not theirs. Learn to use your voice and say “No you don’t have the right to control me but thank you for your suggestion”. Just stop them!
Those Who Judge
Oh how this hurts my heart when people do this. None of us are perfect. Who are we to judge? One of my family members used to do this all the time and it drove me crazy. He was so mean and ignorant and always saying rude things about other people.
Please don’t do this and if you are around people who are doing this, walk away. It’s negative energy. You can speak up and say “hey who are you to judge” or “please let’s not judge anyone before we are perfect”. Something. Anything.
The Self centered/absorbed/righteous ones
Yuck. These people don’t care about you or anything about you or anyone else for that matter. All they care about is themselves. The world is in desperate need of love, kindness and compassion, something these people only have for themselves, not others.
Sprinkle some love and kindness on them and hope that one day they may change. This is another opportunity for you to use your voice and change the subject!!
The Dishonest Peeps
Now that should almost go without saying but too many times we let little white lies slip and accept this behaviour. Don’t do that. Little white lies eventually turn into bigger lies and anyone who has to go through life lying cannot be trusted. Ever. Lying hurts my heart too.
Trust is so easily lost yet it’s the one most important quality to have. First sign of dishonesty of any kind, walk away. Oh and by the way, it’s ok to tell people they are lying. This will shut them up.
The Angry all the Time Ones
Let me explain. We all get angry sometimes over little things, big things, or what have you. We all just do. But there’s always that one person who is just angry all the time and never sees the good in anything and is always so pessimistic. Stay the hell away from this person.
Anger is such a horribly low vibrational energy that nothing good ever comes from it. If you must be around someone like this, it’s ok to let them know that their anger is disturbing the people around them and then just walk away! Another chance for you to use your voice.
The Whiners and Complainers
You ever get stuck in a room or at a party with someone who whines and complains just to get your sympathy? Nothing is going right in their life, ever. Work is bad, home life is bad, just everything is always bad and wrong. They whine just to hear their own voice.
They also whine because they want you to lick their wound for them and say “Oh poor you, that’s horrible!”. Back away. They will suck you into their vortex and you’ll be trapped there for what will seem like an eternity. You can let them know that they have SO many things to be grateful for and that if they are so miserable with their life to do something about it!!
Remember, your voice!
Negative thoughts-we all have them!
You know, life is meant to be lived in joy, peace, love and freedom. I get that not all days are good days and sometimes we need to meet negative people like the ones mentioned above to learn lessons. I also get that we all have negative thoughts sometimes.
We’re not perfect, none of us. But be careful of the people with these character traits as these traits are usually a constant in their life. It’s who they are. You don’t have to be a part of their life or keep them in your life.
Learn the lesson and start walking. Don’t let these toxic people rub off on you so much that they ruin your day or worse yet, you become like them.
Negative people can and do change
Don’t forget though, people do change. I did. I use to have some of these horrible character traits but after a year of life changing lessons and some deep deep personal discovery, I changed my life. These negative people can too!
When they’re ready.
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