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How to Be Happy in Life: 15 Things to Dump Right Now

Last Updated on 2 years by Iva Ursano

Who doesn’t want to be blissfully happy every day? I know I sure do but in reality that’s almost impossible. However I want to share some tips with you today on how to be happy in life so at least you can have a bit of a head start!

So listen, I’m not insinuating that your life sucks right now, but maybe it does? I dunno. I feel if you’re here right now, you aren’t experiencing much life satisfaction and you’re looking for some guidance and tips on how to achieve long-term happiness in your life.

I got ya covered babe!

I’m gonna begin by calling out the people pleasers. Where are you all? Hey look, I used to be one. I said yes to everyone who needed help.

Guess what Iva doesn’t do anymore? Yup. I rarely say yes and only do so when I know I can and when I truly want to help.

And I say NO a lot more these days. When we start saying NO to things, our life becomes better and almost magical.

But….we don’t. And our life ends up crappy. You do realize the choices you make reflect your life. No one else’s. You decide what to keep and what to toss out. No one can do that for you.

You get that, right? So why then, do we still blame others for all the crappy things that keep appearing in our lives? It’s a mystery for sure.

(this post contains affiliate links so if you make a purchase I make a small commission-affiliate disclosure)

If you need to talk to someone and feel you need the next level of help, which is beyond reading blogs and eBooks, please reach out! I am now offering one on one coaching. Click here to book a free 30 minute discovery call to see how I can help you and if we can work together!

The people who are happy in life strive to be that way

They know what it’s like to be miserable, hurt, sad, angry and frustrated and they realized, at some point, that they no longer wanted to live like that.

You have to remember, we are a result of our choices. I know that’s a tough pill to swallow but listen for a second…

Everything we do, no matter where you are or where you work or who you are in a relationship with, anything, all of it, is because of your choices.

If none of it is making you happy anymore, it’s up to you to do something about it. No one else. You are responsible for your own happiness. Remember that.

Your level of happiness, is all up to you.

Before we go on, I really want to share my new self improvement eStore with you. It is jam packed with SO many awesome tools to help you live the life you desire and deserve. Click here to see what’s in store for you now! 

Hard times help us appreciate the happier times in life

As we grow and go through troubling times we learn more and more about ourselves and life and each time, I believe we get a little happier too. But in order to achieve this happy life, I think we really do need to go through hard times.

These hard times help us appreciate things a whole lot more. These blogs might also help you to get on a good path so you can be happy in life. Take a minute to check them out or bookmark them for future reading.

The #1 Reason Why Most S**t Doesn’t Matter

5 Simple Tips to Help If You’re Feeling Stuck

4 Things You Should Tell Yourself Daily (if you want a better life)

5 Life Questions to Ask Yourself When Things Go Wrong

3 Ways to Stop Negative Thinking and Live a Happy Life

Things to be happy about in life

We always need to stop and appreciate the things that we do have in our life that make us happy. Our excellent health, our kids, our jobs, our homes, the flowers in your backyard, whatever.

Sometimes we should take inventory of the things to be grateful for in life and stop stressing over what we don’t have. And always remember, things don’t make us happy permanently.

If you are relying on things to make you happy then you got this all wrong. Appreciate all the good you have in your life, be grateful for it always, but don’t think you are happy because of your things.

And here’s the good news, anyone can make these small changes in their life. These changes are really just the first step of many to bring in more positive things and true happiness into your life.

So I’m really happy you’re here.

In no particular order of importance, here are 15 things you need to ditch to have a happy life.

15 things you need to dump to have a happy life

Happy people are beautiful people. It doesn’t matter what they look like. I know it’s impossible to be happy all the time but if we look for the good, the silver linings if you will, instead of the bad, you will see how positive thinking really does make a huge difference to your life.

Positive psychology. It works!

I also want to mention that social media can sometimes play a huge role in how happy or sad we are. I know, it’s pathetic but it’s true. When I started dumping my bad habits and replaced them with healthy habits, one of the first things on that list was mindless scrolling.

It’s so life sucking.

If you want to be a happy person, you need to make some changes. Period. There’s a quote that goes something like this:

Your life isn’t going to get better with the same mindset that created the problems

Read that again if you have to.

1 Gossiping

Talking about people is stupid. Are we so bored in our own lives that we must waste our time digging up dirt on someone else’s life? Is it necessary? Of course not. Yet we still do it.

Gossiping is toxic negative energy. How on earth do you plan on having a happy positive and better life if you keep letting all that toxicity run through your blood?

Stop doing that now. It makes you look ugly and I know you don’t want to be ugly. And keep something in mind, the people you sit around and gossip with, chances are they are talking about you after you leave. Ugh!

2 Hatred

Please let go of hate. Hate is so toxic and crippling. There is no room for love if your heart is full of hate. Don’t you want a better life? How do you expect to be happy if you are carrying around hate?

Newsflash for you. It just won’t happen. Sorry.

Start saying no to hating things and starting saying yes to love. Send love to things, people, everything. The more you spread love and feel love, the less you will hate. Please say no to hate.

3 Being a Doormat

Stop letting people walk all over you. You know you hate it. It drives you crazy. After it happens you spend the next hour/day/week complaining about it. What’s the point of that? Start saying no to being a doormat.

You are NOT a doormat. You are a human with feelings. Start being treated like one.

Use your voice. Remember that thing? The one you have no trouble using with your bestie? Use it with the peeps who try to step all over you. Put your hand on your hip, your hand out in their face and say NO! Here’s to a happy life.

You might like this self help eBook I wrote on how to form boundary lines so people will stop treating you like a doormat. Click the link here to check it out and grab your copy!

4 Limiting beliefs

We all have them and those suckers stop us from living the life we deserve. They stop us from believing in ourselves. They stop us from doing courageous stuff!!. They just stop us.

Take that power away from them and take back YOUR power.

You can do be and have anything you want (except a unicorn, you can’t be a unicorn, we’ve talked about this before). Stop listening to and feeding into these limiting beliefs. If you need to, go listen to some motivational podcasts or watch Lisa Nichols or Les Brown on YouTube.

You are awesome and your limiting beliefs need to go. Now!!

5 Stress and Worry

They serve no purpose. At all. Whatsoever. You are wasting time worrying about things that haven’t even happened. Why are you doing that? That’s the same with stress. We stress over stuff that eventually works itself out anyway.

Remember everything is temporary. Even your troubles. Take a deep breath, embrace the challenge, have faith that it will work out exactly how it is supposed to, smile, and release. I know, easier said than done, but please just try it. Next time something stressful shows up, let it go. Say no to stress and worry!

6 Overthinking

You know the drill. We think of a scenario or an issue and we think it to death. Much like worrying but a little different. Overthinking doesn’t necessarily mean you are worrying, it simply means you are wasting too much time thinking about this one thing.

And you need to stop doing that.

We can’t control everything or the outcome of things or situations. What we can control is our reaction to things. Let things be and don’t overthink things to death. It’s a waste of energy.

If you find yourself in the middle of an overthinking episode, grab your earbuds and put some music on to help you chill out.

7 What people think of you

wgas-Who gives a sh*t?

Most people don’t even think highly of themselves. It doesn’t matter what people think of you. What do YOU think of you? Do you like yourself? NO? Then work towards improving your life.

When we get too wrapped in the opinions of others we suddenly lose our identity. You aren’t here to please everyone in the whole world. Please yourself first.

Those who love and respect you will stay, those who don’t, will leave. Let them. You’ll make room for some new people to come into your life and maybe even make some new close friends.

8 Holding grudges

Bad bad bad…Please let go of them right now. If there is anything in the world that tears at your heart and soul I would say it’s this one thing: holding a grudge against someone who did you wrong.

You have GOT to forgive this/them and let it go. The only person you are hurting is yourself. For real. Did you know that emotional pain and turmoil translates to physical pain? Yup.

Get rid of it. All of it.

You might like this latest book in my You Are Amazing eBook self-help series. It talks about the power of forgiveness and how to forgive someone who hurt us.

9 Toxic people

Do you have some toxic people in your life? Ha! Who doesn’t? Get rid of them too. If it happens to be a family member, limit your time with them.

Toxic people will suck the life out of you and make your blood boil. You know what I’m talking about here. If you can remove them completely, do so. Otherwise, just don’t hang around them as much anymore or…….(you’re gonna love this one)….the best way to handle them is…

TELL THEM you are not interested in listening to their bs and if they don’t change the subject you are leaving. Plain and simple. Easy peasy not to mention it’s really good for your mental health!

10 Feeling sorry for yourself

Pity parties are soul sucking. Look I get how sometimes we get hit with something that knocks us off our feet and really changes our life a lot (and not in the way we want it to). I get that when this happens we want to drown our sorrows, whine, complain, cry, moan, etc.

And it’s totally ok to do that but heavens don’t stay there!!

You can’t go through life feeling sorry for yourself for all the bad things that happened to you. Learn the lesson and move on sister. We all go through difficult times. You aren’t the only one.

11 Blaming everyone and everything 

The blame game is a weak person’s response to when things go bad or when someone does something bad to them. We want to blame everyone and always someone else for everything that goes wrong.

Please stop doing that.

You must take responsibility for your actions and choices as well. It’s ok to admit you were wrong and learn your lesson. Swallow your pride sweet one. I promise you won’t choke.

12 Having cords of attachment to someone

Cut these right now. I know, easier said than done, but when you are energetically and toxically attached to someone, you will remain sad, frustrated, miserable, upset, need I go on, forever.

Do yourself a huge favour and cut that cord of attachment so you can be free and finally be happy. You will really love my new course on how to cut cords of attachment. Check it out here. 

13 Fear of failure/change

Did you know that fear holds us back from doing a lot of things? I know, it’s crazy right? But so many of us are crippled with fear that we can’t see past it and we never change anything.

Listen, good things happen to those who are ready to embrace change and take on new adventures, face fears, say yes to challenges…you get the idea.

14 Controlling everything

Please stop doing this. Control will drive you crazy, stress you out, frustrate and agitate you to no end. Understand this one very important thing right now…


Sorry for yelling but I had to get that off my chest. You can only control how you react to things and your emotions. Nothing else. Ever. Remembering this will save you a lot of grief.

15 Using past failures to stop you from doing things

I am the queen of failure. I know that sounds so harsh but it’s true. I’ve failed in so many things in my life but I’ll tell you one thing. It never stopped me from trying new things.

I’ve been through an awful lot of tough times and hardships but I also have big goals. All the time. So no matter how hard I fall, I always get back up and keep trying. You should too!!

You can’t live a positive life with negative thoughts

See the pattern here? All this stuff is negative. If you want a better life, a happy life, you must let go of negative toxic things. You will not achieve happiness while you are still hanging on to all this crap.

State of mind is crucial and you should always be conscious of how you’re thinking and feeling.

I know that we can’t have positive emotions 24 hours a day. I so get that. Sometimes, the present moment sucks and we are going through some tough times. It’s important to still honor the sad emotions.

Just don’t stay there. A great way to not get caught up in the “omg my life is so horrible and nothing is going right” trap is to stop and take a few minutes to remember the good things in your life and remind yourself that bad times are temporary, just like the good.

I hope the life tips I shared with you here will help you on your journey to have a happier life.

I realize dumping toxic things is hard but it is so necessary in order for you to be happy. When we start letting go of things that no longer serve us and appreciating life more, things change. Sometimes quite swiftly.

So many of us still hang on to hurt from the past, toxic people/relationships, and other things that poison our happiness. You have got to let go.

You can also check out my self-help guide below. This is a powerful eBook that just may help you move on from the past and help you become happier in life.

As you can see, there are lots of things, tools, and ways to help you dump your baggage, negative emotions and toxic stuff so you can have a happier life. It’s up to you to decide to do it.

Always know that I love you and only want the best for you. xoxo

Peace and Love


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  1. Thanks for sharing this lately I am beginning to get worried and stress which is in someway affecting my health. Already I am fight to stop been stressed and worried…great piece

    1. Hey Matthew thanx for dropping by and for your comment. I used to stress and worry about all kinds of things but life has a funny way of working out the way it’s supposed to. Let go and let things unfold the way they should. Life’s too short to waste precious time worrying :)

      much love

      xo iva xo

  2. I conceive you have observed some very interesting details,
    appreciate it for the post.

  3. I would love to be able to do all u say. Where I live there is a lot of people with mental illness. It’s hard when they’re knocking at your door asking if they can come in for a chat. I find it hard to turn people in distress away, even though it takes its toll. TY for ur article, it has inspired me.

    1. Setting boundaries is ok too. You don’t have to say yes all the time. Say yes to yourself more often

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