Last Updated on 11 months by Iva Ursano
I love talking about love and relationships. Not that I’m an expert but I sure have a lot of experience. Today I want to talk about 6 things you will learn about yourself after you leave your bad relationship.
I have a crazy history of being in and out of unhealthy relationships. When will I ever learn? I gotta tell ya though, I don’t regret one single relationship. I have learned many powerful life lesson not to mention a lot of things about myself too. .
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No one wants a bad relationship, amirite?
You know, when we enter a relationship our first thought isn’t “I wonder how long this one will last” or, wait, er, is it? Not mine usually but the thought does cross my mind.
We’re always on guard, aren’t we? Damn, maybe that is just me. We truly hope this will be the love of our life and get to enjoy that whole ’til death do us part’ stuff.
Unfortunately, history has a habit of repeating itself and Mr/Miss Perfect turns out to be not so perfect, yet again. Are ya with me here? Within months we get thrown red flag after red flag all the while ducking frantically so they don’t hit us.
And even when they hit us we still don’t get the hint. Ah, love. Isn’t it grand?
Either way, I am grateful for all the relationships I have had as they have all taught me a lot about myself and love.
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6 Lessons to Learn From Your Last Bad Relationship
1 – You ain’t changing a damn thing
Ever. And I mean, I kinda know that one already but I always have this teeny glimmer of hope that maybe I am some sort of magical princess who has the power to subtly change people.
I don’t. I’m not. It’s not gonna happen.
People don’t change for other people. Love doesn’t necessarily change people. I mean it does but it doesn’t (if that makes any sense). People who do find love will change if and only if and when they feel they are ready and they need to. Otherwise, fuggedaboudit.
2 – You deserve more
The self worth trip. Yup. We already know we deserve better. We know that with every ounce of our being. But we ignore that signal. Ya I don’t get it either. Still baffles me to this day.
You deserve the love you keep giving out. I love that quote. I think I even made a poster of it for my FB page. For the love of God and all things holy, start believing this! You are SO deserving of the love you desire. This is such a powerful thing to remember.
3 – Enjoy the good
Really. You had a lot of good in your last relationship. It wasn’t all bad. Remember all the good times, the laughs, the precious loving moments. Hold them all dear to your heart. Why?
Because we can go on for the rest of our lives talking crap about our ex and all that crap he/she put us through but why bother? Sometimes I still catch myself doing this though not as much as I used to. There were good times, remember them.
That love, at one time, was special to you. Forget about the bad and stop digging it up. Hold on to the good. It made you the person you are today.
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4 – Dammit, I love myself.
Do you? Do you really? Tell me then, how much?. If you keep falling for the same toxic relationships, then you clearly don’t love yourself enough yet. When we love ourselves as much as we should, we don’t allow toxic relationships into our lives. Capiche?
Learn how to love yourself dammit. Learn how to love every ounce of you, the good, the bad and the ugly. When you do, you will eventually attract someone who loves you just as much as you do. Trust me on this (says the girl who doesn’t practice what she preaches….but hey, I’m honest).
So ya, I’m still learning this one too. This probably is the most important life lesson there is.
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5 – Forgiving others is for your own good
Ya I know, he/she was a jerk and they don’t deserve to be forgiven. I get it. I only have one thing to say about that.
You forgive them for YOU, not for them. They don’t even have to know you have forgiven them. Just do it.
You might like this mini self help eBook from my You Are Amazing series called How to Forgive Someone Who Hurt You. Click the link here or the image below to grab your copy now.
6 – Just be patient for goodness sake
What’s the hurry? What are we so impatient about anyway? Why are we in such a hurry to find a replacement for our last bad relationship?
When did we forget to take time to stop and smell the roses along the road of life and just enjoy life and let good things happen to us?
We can rush through life with blinders on and keep bumping into boulders or we can go through life with our eyes open and enjoy each and every moment life has to offer. Let the Universe surprise us.
Let the Universe supply us with what we need and deserve instead of trying to rush and control things.
Are you dealing with a narcissist?
So many of us go from one toxic relationship to the next. We truly want and deserve a fairy tale romance yet we keep attracting narcissists or toxic partners.
It’s important for us to heal our wounds before we dive into the next relationship. Our wounds are still fresh and bleeding and we never give them time to heal.
If you are struggling with a narcissistic partner or stuck in a relationship with a narcissist you may want to check out this amazing program by Kim Saeed. She truly is awesome!
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Learning from every bad relationship
I ain’t no relationship expert but man I’ve learned so much about myself in the last 25+ years and I just keep learning. And loving. And living.
I believe we must always keep an open mind when we are entering or leaving a relationship. I think it’s too easy to point a finger and blame everything on him/her but let’s be honest here, we aren’t perfect either.
You have to remember that we bring our baggage into relationships as well and they may not be that pretty. Everything isn’t always their fault. Just remember that.
Peace and Love