Last Updated on 3 years by Iva Ursano
It’s break up time and today I’m going to share 5 breakup rules that will save you a ton of grief while you’re going through a breakup (but you gotta follow them) because let’s face it, breaking up sucks. A lot.
You were sure this guy/gal was the one you were going to spend the rest of your life with. Remember those first few months when everything was so beautiful and full of love and roses and sweet lovemaking?
What happened and when did it happen? Breaking up sucks and it comes with tons of grief, that is, if you don’t do it properly
We are now ready to break up or have already. If there were rules in the relationship that got broken, take note. There are definitely rules in the break up. These rules should not be broken. Ever.
You think you two are going to still be friends. Right? Whose idea was that? Let’s just be friends.
It never works. That will only work if you guys live two countries away from each other. So what are the top 5 break up rules? Pay attention.
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Going through a breakup is never easy
We all know how it feels. The break up is brutal. The feelings. The sadness. The anger. Oy. The roller coaster of emotions we have to go through is enough to drive anyone crazy. Going through a breakup can bring even the strongest person to their knees in sadness, agony, frustration and pain.
I’m no stranger to bad relationships and break ups but in my years I’ve learned a few things that make ending a relationship just so much easier, not only on me but the other guy too ( I think).
You know you made the right decision to end the relationship but that doesn’t make going through a breakup any easier either. Your heart aches, you want to go back to the way everything was in the beginning. You want all that blissful romance and the butterflies in your tummy feeling back again.
But you know it’s not going to happen.
It’s really hard to try and stay strong and stick to your guns too! The heart, though is such a strong muscle, is also weak too. I feel ya girl.
We have to remember why we left and we have to remind ourselves that there is definitely something better for us after this break up.
Sometimes we simply are just afraid of leaving a relationship. Fear of hurting the other person, fear of the future. I talk in-depth about leaving a toxic relationship in one of my videos over on my YouTube channel and I think it might help you. Check it out below.
Depression after breakup isn’t that uncommon
It’s actually more common than you think and many people don’t quite understand it. Going through a depression after breakup happens to even the strongest of people.
If you feel you are starting to slip into depression or are having a really hard time going through a breakup and need someone to talk to, please reach out to a friend or a professional. You don’t have to go through this alone and you shouldn’t have to. You might like this post:
And don’t worry about ‘bothering people’. People do love to help. I promise. Find someone you know love and trust who will lend an ear and help you get through this breakup.
If you don’t have anyone like that close by or that you can trust, the people at online-therapy.com are truly amazing. I partnered with them recently because after doing some research, they truly do offer the best online therapy in my opinion.
Click the link here to talk to someone now or the image below to get more information.
Going through a breakup-5 things to do after a breakup
So let’s just get to the rules and I really do hope you stick to some of them or even all of them!! I wrote this for you. To help you move on in peace and happiness.
1 Go no contact- Delete delete delete
And you know exactly what I’m talking about. Phone number, email address (unless you need that info for lawyers or children). Any way you can contact this person, delete it. Otherwise, you are just going to end up driving yourself crazy.
Why aren’t they answering your text? How come they are ignoring your phone messages? Did they receive my email? Why won’t they reply?
You wanna know why? Because they are moving on with their life and they really don’t want to maintain contact with you. Get the hint. Leave them alone. Save yourself some grief here. Stop driving yourself crazy, and move on.
You might really like this mini self help eBook I wrote on how to cut cords of attachment because let’s face it, sometimes we don’t want to let go, but we have to. Click the link or the image below to download your copy now.
2 Leave their friends alone
Read that again. Their friends are their friends. Not yours.
Now sometimes it is possible to maintain a friendship with them (their friends) while you are going through a breakup and even after the break up but if you do, do NOT ever ask how your ex is. Actually don’t talk about your ex at all with them. and don’t maintain a friendship so you can spy on your ex.
That’s just wrong and that’s not very nice, really. Grow up. Move on.
3 Don’t bash them
And I know that’s really hard to do. Trust me I get it. It’s hard to not bash their name to anyone who will listen BUT please refrain. No matter how bad or evil they were. No matter how poorly they treated you. Be a better and bigger person.
Remember you stayed for as long as you did because there was some good in there too somewhere. No bashing. Let it go.
And let’s be honest here, I’m sure you weren’t the perfect person in the relationship either. We all have faults. Sorry.
4 No whining
I did this. Oh, how I did this. Endlessly.
It was exhausting and I’m surprised I have friends left. Don’t call all your friends and whine and cry and complain every day about the break up.
If you need to talk about it, call the one or two friends who love you to smithereens, and don’t mind listening to you, and then have a hug and a drink. But for the love of God and everything holy, don’t go on and on to anyone who will listen about how bad your life is now that so and so dumped you.
You will just be known as the whiner and no one will want to be around you.
Of course, we all want to tell our story and cry the blues and that’s totally ok. Of course it’s ok to talk about it and get it out. Just don’t make it all you ever talk about. People will stop wanting to hang around you.
5 Don’t look for a replacement right away
You know, that whole rebound love thing. Ya, that. Good grief! Don’t do that. It’s just a bad idea.
You aren’t ready for a new love. Whether you think you are or not, trust me, you aren’t. You need to do a little bit of work on yourself. Go over what happened and why.
Think about who you are and how you can avoid this kind of thing from happening again. Plus, you may need to work on some self love. Jus sayin’.
I wrote an eBook on how to love yourself (naturally!) and you may like it. Click the link below (or the image) to grab your copy now.
How to end a relationship with someone you love
It’s hard af, right? It’s actually downright nerve-wracking. I have a super hard time communicating my feelings in person so I always have to write a letter and hope that it is received well (ooph).
You might like this article on how to know when it’s time to end a relationship
But the most important thing is to be honest and clear. Explain to your partner that it’s done and you’re moving on.
Now if you are in a toxic relationship where maybe your partner is really good at emotionally manipulating you, you must stick to your guns, no matter how hard that will be.
Narcissistic partners can be especially hard to deal with and leave. If you are trapped in a relationship with a narcissist that you really need to get away from please check out this program by Kim Saeed. She’s amazing and so are her courses.
Click here or the image below to check out her programs to see if they are right for you.
Getting through a breakup won’t be easy
Yes, breaking up sucks. Big time. But if you follow these break up rules ending the relationship may go smoother than you think. There comes a point during the aftermath that you simply have to let go and move on. You might like this post:
You deserve happiness and inner peace. Not grief and torment. Remember that.
Did you like this post? Did it help you in any way shape or form? If so, you can now say “thank you iva!!” and buy me a coffee to show your support and gratitude. :) Click the pretty little “Buy Me a Coffee” button below! xoxo
Peace and Love