Oh the dreaded forgiveness blog, right? Always so much resistance comes up when we talk about forgiveness. AND, I love to talk about forgiveness. I do. I believe with 100% of everything I am that you cannot move forward in life with peace, freedom and happiness unless you forgive all the assholes who hurt you.

You just can’t. Period.

Anyway, so I used to hold grudges. Many. I didn’t believe in forgiveness. Forgive who?? Fuck that!!

But something donned on me. I spent my entire life walking around with all these little chips on my shoulder that, quite honestly, were starting to kinda hurt even more than the original wounds.

It was time to do something about it. I knew exactly what I had to do and it was time.


Why Iva, why do we need to forgive all these morons? Why? I had to do a little soul searching to answer that question. I dug deep.

This is what I came up with. These 5 *inyourfacebitch* reasons were loud and clear to me and I couldn’t deny forgiveness any longer.

  1. Freedom. First and foremost, I realized that forgiveness offered freedom. Freedom from the pain, freedom from the anguish, freedom from all the little chips on my shoulder. Freedom from the chains that kept me bound to the abuser.
  2. Peace. This comes almost immediately. But the peace I am talking about is the peace in my mind and heart. That peace is almost priceless and also almost impossible to obtain without forgiveness.
  3. Happiness. This was achieved almost immediately. Yup. As soon as I said “I forgive you” (not literally to their face but in my heart) I felt this wave of joy! It was ridiculous and awesome and had me in tears. That’s how powerful that was.
  4. Awareness. I realized that they treated me the only way they knew how AND also the way I let them. I became aware that some of my abusers didn’t know any different (like my parents for example). I also became aware that I let the abuse go on because I did nothing to stop it. I allowed them to treat me the way they did.
  5. Life goes on. It does. No matter how much abuse I endured in my whole life, life goes on. It was up to me to decide how I wanted my life to go on. Holding grudges til they buried me or with peace in my heart. How did I want to live out the rest of my life? With all these tiny little chips in my shoulder constantly stabbing at me?

Anyone can do it.

Yup. Forgiveness is one of those things that anyone AND everyone can do. Really, they/you can.

This is where it gets complicated and a tad tricky, right? Everyone has a *story* and often we want to do the *my story is worse than yours*. Many of us have been beat, raped, molested by family members, cheated on, etc. I mean I can go on and on here right but why?

Someone in our life, at one point or another, has done something so ridiculously fucking horrible to us and has left a wound the size of the world. End of story. So how on earth do we forgive these monsters?

Well, I can’t tell you how, but I can tell you it’s possible. You can do it. But you must get to the point, first, where you realize that forgiveness is the only course of action to take to achieve, well,  peace, freedom and happiness.

Anyone can do it.

Walkin’ on sunshine.

That’s what forgiveness has done for me. I walk with a skip in my step, almost like I’m walkin’ on sunshine. I’m happy, no grudges, my heart is full of love, always and ready to accept and give more. There is no heaviness in my soul. I’m light and free as a feather.

Forgiveness has done this to me, and so much more. I forgive easily now too. If someone does something really mean to me, I feel it, cry about it (yes I still do that), analyze the whole situation and then forgive them.

Life is short. My one goal in life is just to be happy. That’s all. The rest falls into place nicely after that.

Forgive. Today. One asshole at a time.

Peace and Love


Written by Iva Ursano

Leave a Comment