I’m no stranger to heartache. I love full on, balls to the wall, no holds barred. When I love, I love hard core. Now with that said, this mushy heart of mine gets broken often. So often, in fact, I wonder to myself why it keeps doing that. Why do I keep giving 100% when I only end up getting my heart broken? I find that after each heartbreak I always manage to pick up a few more life lessons. Most importantly, I learned that I still have lots to learn.
I love love so much that I just don’t even care about the impending doom to follow. I don’t view love as something that I give and hope it lasts forever. Nope. I view love as something that speaks loudly from my heart and no matter happens while I’m loving, I’m enjoying the feeling with every ounce of me.
Oh yes I feel the pain too
Now with that said, I’m not gonna lie and tell you that the doom doesn’t hurt my heart. It hurts a whole heck of a lot. Can’t tell you that I enjoy it either, I know it’s coming. Sometimes it hurts like hell, sometimes the blow is soft. Make no mistake though, it hurts. So if I know pain is inevitable, why do I keep doing it then? When will I start applying the life lessons I learn from each heartbreak?
Why don’t I learn how to guard my heart like most people do? Put it in a cage and protect it until I’m certain that “this” guy is Mr. Right (or maybe even Mr. Notsobad). Is it because I love heartache so much I look forward to the next one? You know, like a self torture kind of thing.
Nope. Not at all. It’s because caging my heart doesn’t interest me. That’s not what hearts are for. They are for loving.
So why do I keep at it? It’s all the things I learn about myself after each heartbreak. I learn and I grow and then I think I’m more prepared for the next time it happens. Oh how we kid ourselves.
5 Life Lessons I Learned After My Last Heartbreak
The feelings of love.
No matter how much my heart hurts or how long the heartache lasts, nothing compares to the feelings of love I had for this person at the moment. Love, to me, is absolutely the most beautiful feeling in the world. I would not replace that or forfeit it simply because of heartbreak. Not a chance. I’ve learned that love is the #1 energy for me that fuels me and makes me happy. I’ll never stop doing that.
I need to feel it back.
As much as I love love and love giving it, I realize that I really do need to feel it back. Maybe not 100% in return but I have to know that the love is there. I know what it’s like to feel love but not really get anything back in return. It leaves a little hole in my heart and makes me sad.
My boundaries are weak.
Independent of the fact that I pride myself in standing tall and confident in who I am and how far I’ve come in my life, I still struggle with boundaries (don’t judge). I want love so bad sometimes that I let those boundary lines slip. Time and time again. Every time I tell myself that that is not going to happen again but it always does. I still have lots of work to do on my boundary lines. I have a feeling someone is gonna have to pound this life lesson into my head for me.
Don’t lose yourself girl.
Is it just me or does this happen to you sometimes too? We forget who we are and what we’re all about and we lose a little part of our identity. This happened only on a very small scale this time, but it still happened nonetheless. I clearly have work to do still on my identity.
Love myself a little more.
Now that may sound kinda crazy. Wouldn’t you feel defeated and unloved after heartbreak? Not this girl. I honour myself and am very gentle with myself. I hold on to the love I just had, hold the fond memories close and love the person I have emerged as after it. I am stronger, wiser and maybe even tad smarter. I love the woman I am growing into. Each heartache shows me a few more things about myself and I cherish it all.I think of all 5, this is probably the most important life lesson of all.
The last heartbreak was a doozy. I knew this one had an expiration date. I told myself not to get too attached. I knew all the right things to do and I didn’t do any of them. Do I regret it? Not one single bit.
Why? Because I love love and it is the most beautiful energy in the world and I will never stop doing it.
Don’t give up on love and don’t cage your heart. Listen to your heart and let it do its job.
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Peace and Love