Love Me or Hate Me, I Don’t Really Care!

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Come on, you gotta love these titles, really? They are hard hitting and I think some of them either make you hate me or love me right off the bat. Funny thing about that is, well, I really don’t care.

BUT before you hate me already, really, let me explain myself a bit. I want my blogs to be of great reading enjoyment. I want them to hit whatever nerve they have to, but most importantly I want them to speak to you in a way that you need to hear.

When I was wallowing in my self pity and living my crap life, it was blog reading, ebook reading, and all that other personal development stuff that saved me. So here’s to hoping that just maybe, I can aid in saving you, if you’re up for saving and then maybe you can love yourself more and not care what others think.

Moving along….

I used to care too much. Do people love me? Hate me?

I mean, there was a time I used to do ridiculously stupid stuff just so people would like me. I do would do stuff and then can recall going home and thinking to myself “well that was stupid”. Peer pressure maybe I guess? I used to think peer pressure was just a high school thing but I’m a perfect living example that it’s not. Peer pressure is the real deal. Even as adults.

If you were going to drink 60 oz of tequila and then drop two hits of acid and then go train jumping, well dammit if it meant being your friend, then I was gonna do that too.

Stupidity is what it was. Sheer stupidity. As I got older, (and relatively came to my senses, what little I had then) it turned into me doing stupid stuff so that my boyfriend wouldn’t dump me. I would do whatever they wanted. I desperately wanted, needed and had to be liked, loved and wanted. Period. It didn’t matter what I had to do.

Wake up and smell coffee or chocolate or something for God sake!!!

I was 51 years old when it finally hit me. Can you believe that? It took me all that time to wake up and realize it wasn’t coffee that was brewing, it was ridiculousness. Pure stupidity that I had been doing for all my life.

All my life I so desperately needed and wanted to be loved, needed, liked, respected. All that was happening was that my self worth was sinking lower and lower until it was almost non existent.

Actually by the time I realized what I was doing, I had no self nothing, nudda, zippo, zilch. No self love, value, respect, esteem, confidence. Nope. I was a shell of a person, Weak, vulnerable, naive and lost.

But I caught it. I recognized it. I woke up and wondered who  was I, what am I and why do I let people keep walking all over me and trashing me so bad in hopes that they will like me? What on earth is the matter with me?

why you need to stop caring what people think of you
Why you need to stop caring about what people think of you

I’m a nice person, damn you.

And so began the long long long, wait one more, long healing journey of self discovery. I needed to realize that the only person who was supposed to like me was me and if I didn’t like me then my problem was bigger than I thought. And guess what? I didn’t like me. No wonder why you didn’t like me either.

I had to learn who Iva was. I had to see if she was nice or not. I had to figure out what made her tick and if she had some serious crap going on that maybe needed working on. By that I mean negative things, poor attitude, stuff like that.

Slow but sure I came alive again. I was learning new things about me. Some definitely needed changing, others just needed a bit of tweaking.

After almost one full year a whole new Iva emerged. A damn nice one too. One that doesn’t really put up with anybody’s negative crap any more and one that will stand up for what she believes in. One that will help another human being no matter what, and one that won’t put up with any one who is judgmental. Got no time for that.

Iva is full of self confidence, she’s loving, caring, with a touch of craziness. In a fun way. Crazy in a fun way that makes people laugh, smile and feel good about themselves. It took her a really long time to get here but she’s never been happier.

Iva is a nice person and if you don’t like her, she doesn’t really care.

Is that Guatemalan coffee I smell brewing?

Wanna know the #1 thing you need to do to change your life today? Drop your info below and I’ll share a secret with you!

Do you love listening to inspirational podcasts? You’re gonna love mine then!!

Peace and Love


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  • very nice stuff !!! i am just 17 but i know how we care too much about other people’s opinion .. i also wanted my friends to like me in every way possible.. but it made me someone else which is definitely not me !!! but after confining myself in my room for almost 1 month .. reading books and motivational articles … l know that it does not matter if everybody likes you or not , what matters is whether you like or embrace yourself or not.. everybody has some flaws but a happy person is the one who embraces his/her strengths as well as their weaknesses !!! your article was straightforward and thats why i liked it .

    • You are a one in a million teenager and person. Good for you for having such great values and morals. I hope there are many more like you!!Thank you for your comment Sonali. I appreciate you and wish you nothing but the best that life has to offer you and hope that you see it and embrace it xo

  • I used to be a people pleaser, too. But the more energy I put into everyone else, the more depleted I became. I felt worn down and unhappy. No one was taking the time to fill MY reserves. That’s when I realized that was my job. To take care if myself and build my own self respect. It’s not my job to please everyone. That isn’t possible anyway. But I can do things for myself that make me happy. No one can do it for me any more than I can do it for anyone else. Great to have that weight off my shoulders!

    • Yup and sometimes I still feel a teeny wee bit guilty but that feeling goes away fast ;)

      xo iva xo

  • Wow Iva this is so deep and it was surely feeling almost like my life story. I so get you…for you have made a huge impact in my life that now I truly am loving me more then I couldn’t even imagine before. I am so grateful to you. I do love you…amazing Iva!❤

  • I could have written your words myself! However, it took me SIXTY years to realize the love and approval I was seeking in and from others, I could give to me MYSELF! That is the secret to a much healthier and happier life! I started a wonderful relationship with an amazing person—-me!

    The old me would walk into a room full of people and wonder, “Gee, I hope someone will like me!”

    Now, I walk into a room full of people and wonder, “I hope I like somebody in here!!!!” ;)

    • Atta girl Jacqueline!! Took me a little over 50 years to figure this out :o Thanx for reading the blog!


  • Iva I think you just wrote about me except that I was 59 and finding this journey wonderful, scary, lonely, challenging …………..

    • Hey Debbie I think it takes some of us a while to reach that point. Kudos to you for getting there!!

      much love
      xo iva xo

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