What to Do When Your Spouse Wants a Divorce (but you don’t)
Last Updated on 1 year by Iva Ursano
“I’ve had enough. There’s nothing left that can bind us together. I’m leaving you.”
Can’t believe your ears? Hard for you to accept the fact that your wife is out of the relationship? These are not mere “words”. She is claiming she wants a divorce and she means it too. For you, everything was just going fine. Then what happened? Why is she asking for a divorce? How do you handle this when your spouse wants a divorce but you don’t?
Believe it or not, but it never happens overnight. It takes a lot for a wife to ask for a divorce from her husband. No matter how desperately you want her to stay now, she probably won’t.
But what goes wrong? After all efforts and immense love to nurture the relationship, how could a wife change her mind? I reckon, there are enormous signs for a husband to realize that their relationship is on the rocks.
Some reasons why your spouse wants a divorce
Passion is gone out of the Relationship
It’s all about passion to look forward to each other over years that keeps a marriage going on. Once that passion is lost, everything is lost. You might have missed noticing that your wife is losing her interest in you. The warmth and pleasure you used to enjoy being around her, is no more there. This relationship has become more of a business partnership where she’s performing mundane tasks at home. The passion and intimacy are no more there. Divorce is inevitable. But why is that so?
- What is that which makes her cold and distant from you?
- Are you not keeping your promises to her?
- Are you offering her exactly what she wants?
“You are always complaining. I do so much for you and the family but you are never happy. You never appreciate me for anything. You just love yourself.”
Are you coming across with such nasty endless fights more often? If yes, think through the reason why she is not bringing up the positive in you or vice versa.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. For a marriage to be successful, it is even more important. Has your wife started taking you with a pinch of salt? Does she question everything you do, wherever you go? If so, it’s a heads up for you to smell something fishy. You need to realize the reason why has she stopped trusting you. Losing trust is one of the main reasons a partner asks for a divorce.
- Have you ever cheated on her before?
- Is she just unnecessarily scared of your infidelity?
- Has she gone through any relationship mishap in her life, before marriage, that is making her skeptical of you?
No More Love
Remember, nothing in this world can make a wife stay into a relationship without love. Any other insecurity or fear may bind her to stay but nothing assures happiness but love. But if the love is gone, you can’t stop her from leaving you.
- Is she in love with someone else?
- Have you been neglecting her for so long that she doesn’t feel connected to you?
- Has she got frustrated after going through several ups and downs in the marriage?
- Have you ever talked to her to save your marriage?
She’s Leaving…..What to do Now?
Whatever is the reason, it’s your turn now to make an effort. If you’re still in love with her, if she’s precious to you as always, give it a thousand tries.
Seek for the Lost Love
Don’t beg her to stay with you. It will never work. The only thing that works is your changed attitude. Your willingness to win her back will definitely attract her to you again. Try to explore what she wants and expects from you.
Ask her out for a dinner
- Surprise her with a text assuring her of your love
- Talk to her as you used to do in the early days of marriage.
- Give her care and attention exactly the way she wants.
She might be missing that old love which has lost somewhere in the hassles of life.
Bring Fun and Pleasure even during a Fight
There might be love hidden in your fights. She’s complaining because it is only you whom she looks up to. Rather than flaring up the fights, change your attitude into a friendly one. Just bring up something surprising that makes her smile and feel light. It doesn’t mean to be non-serious over the matter and ignore it. It can be a spontaneous hug or a joke. Just something that shows her your love despite all of the mess.
Rebuild the Trust Factor
Work a thousand times to rebuild the trust element. Be honest to her in all possible ways. It is not just the “communication” that can bring her back to you, but honesty and sincerity can save you from losing her forever. This honesty is expected at the same level from your wife too.
The turmoil in your marital relationship needs time to get over. The love you are now expressing to her will take some time to take back her decision. She’ll realize your sincere efforts to fix up the marriage. All you need now is a little more patience.
You can surely win your wife back following these guidelines. But most importantly, be sincere in all your efforts. Keep her happiness an important element. If she’s still in love with you, she’ll come back to you soon!
Sarah Campbell is a former paralegal who enjoys writing about family law and related topics, she currently handles the content for DivorceYes. Her extensive experience as a paralegal to some of the top law firms has given her a sound understanding of matters relating to family law. You can reach her on Facebook.
Been through that on both sides. No pleasant, you are spot on though!